AA and Ego
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by Sapling 
You might as well add AVRT and SMART in there. I'm all for whatever works.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 137
What a great post..many thanks to DNVR who posted the original question! For anyone who likes aa for the fellowship rest assure that there are many like you who simply like the fellowship, there are no rules other than "don't drink". I support any method of recovery..even wearing purple socks on mondays!! LOL
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Originally Posted by silly
Very true. We've got so many people here on SR, including myself, who are really seeing great progress in all ways and options. Thanks, Sapling!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 137
Sapling, you don't need to quote the bb to me as I am very familiar with it..I would disagree that going to meetings isn't enough, as I know many who have used meetings as a cornerstone to their recovery. As we can attest to, SR is a bevel of folks whom got sober using many different methods..DNVR asked a very important question, one worthy of an honest answer, thank you for yours!
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
For me, meetings alone was not enough. I tried just attending meetings. I couldn't stay stopped long enough for any thing to sink in nor did I really want it to.
And then it got worse ..... I realized what I had been trying to do was not working for me.
Working the steps with a sponsor changed my life. I didn't do them because I wanted to. I did it because, as Sapling said, it was a matter of life and death for me.
No matter what your experience is, it is important. No one can disagree with my experience because ..... well, it's mine.
And then it got worse ..... I realized what I had been trying to do was not working for me.
Working the steps with a sponsor changed my life. I didn't do them because I wanted to. I did it because, as Sapling said, it was a matter of life and death for me.
No matter what your experience is, it is important. No one can disagree with my experience because ..... well, it's mine.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 137
Ahh PaperDolls you hit the nail on its head.."nor did I really want it to" No one quits until they are ready...not a minute or a second before. For me meetings anchored my recovery..I did the work but the meetings made me realize all that I had worth fighting for..for that I will always be grateful.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by PaperDolls
For me, meetings alone was not enough. I tried just attending meetings. I couldn't stay stopped long enough for any thing to sink in nor did I really want it to.
And then it got worse ..... I realized what I had been trying to do was not working for me.
Working the steps with a sponsor changed my life. I didn't do them because I wanted to. I did it because, as Sapling said, it was a matter of life and death for me.
No matter what your experience is, it is important. No one can disagree with my experience because ..... well, it's mine.
And then it got worse ..... I realized what I had been trying to do was not working for me.
Working the steps with a sponsor changed my life. I didn't do them because I wanted to. I did it because, as Sapling said, it was a matter of life and death for me.
No matter what your experience is, it is important. No one can disagree with my experience because ..... well, it's mine.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
It is not always easy. I just always need to remind myself we share the planet and disease. Cleaning up after a meeting this guy is angry and pushing me no idea why maybe my looks so I just said you want to sit and talk. It was like he let his life out. Some of us really hurt.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by MycoolFitz
It is not always easy. I just always need to remind myself we share the planet and disease. Cleaning up after a meeting this guy is angry and pushing me no idea why maybe my looks so I just said you want to sit and talk. It was like he let his life out. Some of us really hurt.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
How often in the normal world do you have the ability to directly impact someone's life in a positive way?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
How often in the normal world do you have the ability to directly impact someone's life in a positive way?
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by freshstart57
We have this ability every conscious moment of every day, is one person's answer to this question. We don't need to limit ourselves to only helping addicted people who are seeking sobriety by following only a certain prescribed spiritual path.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by DNVR
I recently began going to AA and have been feeling great about it. The only problem is that on numerous occasions I've overheard individuals saying how much "newcomers" bug them. In small talk after meetings, several members have also drilled me with questions on why I am at AA.
I haven't been court ordered to attend AA and am going on my own free wiil. I'm tired of how alcohol has made my life unmanageable and simply need help. If part of AA is about losing your ego, why do I feel the need to prove myself to "regulars" or members with years of sobriety?
Their actions can only turn people away and push the stereotype of AA as a members only cult further than it already has.
Since it's been helping, should I just keep going and avoid being sponsored and discussions within the group. I've felt more comfortable when I've just gone and listened.
Anyone else have this issue?
Thanks!
I haven't been court ordered to attend AA and am going on my own free wiil. I'm tired of how alcohol has made my life unmanageable and simply need help. If part of AA is about losing your ego, why do I feel the need to prove myself to "regulars" or members with years of sobriety?
Their actions can only turn people away and push the stereotype of AA as a members only cult further than it already has.
Since it's been helping, should I just keep going and avoid being sponsored and discussions within the group. I've felt more comfortable when I've just gone and listened.
Anyone else have this issue?
Thanks!
wheni got into AA, i was eventually asked why i was there. i told them the truth. i was sick and tired of being sick and tired and if i took another drink i was gonna kill myself. i think i was lookin at it a lil differently as i already had a lil experience with AA and knew there were a lot of people there with the wrong motives. i had to earn their trust just as they had to earn my trust that they were there with the right motives.
you may feel you need to prove yourself because of some character defects, which the program will help you find.
yes, members can be completely different at the tables and out the doors. it is very easy to talk the talk for an hour. it is all that time on the other side of the doors that matters.
IMO, i suggest you keep going and seek out the fellowship you crave. keep your ears and eyes open and listen to the people. you just may find your sponsor.
it is important to remember that some are truly sicker than others and havent let go of all of their old ideas.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
I was not advocating that people ignore newcomers---but I think it is understandable. Every year I was in the program I must have seen at least 100 newcomers who did not make it to a third meeting each year. When I started out, it was maybe twice that at meetings where the newcomers outnumbered those with any time.
This is a problem in many areas. It is not a good thing, but surely it is understandable.
Given that the majority of people of any meeting have a year or less, is it any wonder that people who are not secure in their own sobriety do not extend themselves. I know I was often afraid of relapsing with newcomers if I got too close.
This is a problem in many areas. It is not a good thing, but surely it is understandable.
Given that the majority of people of any meeting have a year or less, is it any wonder that people who are not secure in their own sobriety do not extend themselves. I know I was often afraid of relapsing with newcomers if I got too close.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
One thing that AA has absolutely right is the concept of willingness.
You have to be absolutely willing to do whatever it takes.
Also-
Both AVRT and AA have the concept of giving up the fight.
Turning it over or dismissing/ignoring the beast, either CAN end the constant struggle for some.
You have to be absolutely willing to do whatever it takes.
Also-
Both AVRT and AA have the concept of giving up the fight.
Turning it over or dismissing/ignoring the beast, either CAN end the constant struggle for some.
Euphoric Recaller
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: PHX Suburbs
Posts: 371
Originally Posted by nobshere
What a great post..many thanks to DNVR who posted the original question! For anyone who likes aa for the fellowship rest assure that there are many like you who simply like the fellowship, there are no rules other than "don't drink". I support any method of recovery..even wearing purple socks on mondays!! LOL
Euphoric Recaller
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: PHX Suburbs
Posts: 371
Originally Posted by nobshere
Sapling, you don't need to quote the bb to me as I am very familiar with it..I would disagree that going to meetings isn't enough, as I know many who have used meetings as a cornerstone to their recovery. As we can attest to, SR is a bevel of folks whom got sober using many different methods..DNVR asked a very important question, one worthy of an honest answer, thank you for yours!
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