Anger has always been a hot-button pre-cursor to drinking..
Ba**ysMama
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 91
Anger has always been a hot-button pre-cursor to drinking..
Hi everybody:-) First time really talking about this, but I am very tempted to drink when something disturbs me, or sets strong anger off.. although my being upset by certain things in my life..(most of which seem to be re-curring themes..), is very justified..I know most normal people don't want or need to turn to the bottle to handle their emotions at that time.. this is where I struggle..I don't want to allow those monsters to have that sort of power over my life to cause me to slip back into a habit that I am trying so much to kick..& I realize that.. any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
Anger is pretty much the main thing that causes people to use or drink. Thats why you see the word HALT everywhere.
H - Hungry
A - Angry
L - Lonely
T - Tired
If you get all of these together you end up upset and when you're upset your main thought is just to drink or use the pain away. That is why there is so much emphasis put on losing any resentments you have. Anger at other people or situations causes us to use.
H - Hungry
A - Angry
L - Lonely
T - Tired
If you get all of these together you end up upset and when you're upset your main thought is just to drink or use the pain away. That is why there is so much emphasis put on losing any resentments you have. Anger at other people or situations causes us to use.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
anger, now thats something i experienced all my life. it controlled me and was one of the biggest excuses for me to drink. when i got into recovery through AA, i didnt have it for a while as i was quite misearble and in a seriously thick fog, but sure enough, it came back. i had to find out what it was all about. so, this is what i did:
.....It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison...
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one...
you can read more on it in the big book of alcoholics anonymous.
.....It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison...
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one...
you can read more on it in the big book of alcoholics anonymous.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I had begun to believe that drinking was the 'only' way to deal with strong emotions. 
One thing that helped me with the strong negative emotions like anger and guilt, was to journal. It was hard to get started, but it felt good to see the words on paper, and then to later destroy the paper.
One thing that helped me with the strong negative emotions like anger and guilt, was to journal. It was hard to get started, but it felt good to see the words on paper, and then to later destroy the paper. 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
People **** me off more time in a day than i can count, however thats on me, not them. I used to look at it as an excuse to drink. I would just get so worked up in my own mind, that i would believe the justification. Then i would drink til i passed out and wake up scared to death of what MORE I had created. Anger simply covers up hurt. we dont get angry about things that we dont care about right? with that being said, if i care about something so much, why would i risk throwing it away? or lead me to my death? i am working on becoming more aware of when people make me mad, and working on how i react. i dont have it worked out perfectly, but i have eliminated the option of a drink.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by CloseToRecovery 
i can say first and foremost that i have a severe anger issue and have had this for most of my life. so i totally identify with you on getting peeved and then wanting to get trashed to ease that pain. that went on right up til i quit a few days ago. i know for myself to help me curb my anger and keep me calm in specific situations, i need medication. now this doesnt mean you would need that as well, but you could always look into it. do you regularly exercise? for me that also helped take out aggression that was building up inside that was waiting to explode. one thing i can also add is you should try not to allow anger or any emotion to dictate your life. i know it may seem harder then it feels but there are alternatives to everything. i hope you can find a right answer that will help you, good luck. =)
Ba**ysMama
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 91
But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal. For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison...
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
I really liked this.. and thank you to everyone who shared their own experiences/advices..you all rock..you really do..
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one...
you can read more on it in the big book of alcoholics anonymous.[/QUOTE]
If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison...
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
I really liked this.. and thank you to everyone who shared their own experiences/advices..you all rock..you really do..
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one...
you can read more on it in the big book of alcoholics anonymous.[/QUOTE]
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