Blondie0419

I am one week sober today! I was never a daily drinker, but a weekend drinker. Once I started, I did not know when to stop! I have know in my heart for over a year that I have a problem. I stopped drinking on June 24, 2012 and did great until July 27, 2012. That is when I started drinking in moderation. I would have a drink here or there, and felt pretty good about it, but slowly I started drinking more and more.... that scared me. And so I am back at it again, this time with a new understanding of my problem. I have read a lot of threads on the website, and so figured joining would be a good idea as well.

I have a friend's bachelorette party next weekend, I am feeling a little nervous about it. Any suggestions for the best way to handle it?

Sapling

Don't go.

Sapling

Welcome to SR Blondie0419...Glad to have you with us!

swindon32

I wouldn't go chick, too much temptation this early on x

trikuza

im the same way. I would just drink on the weekends. But after the first drink I wouldnt stop. Everyone is gonna be hammered at that bachelorette party so I would be careful.

Mizzuno

Hello! Welcome aboard. You will find amazing support here. We are all in different boats heading in the same direction.
What if you were DD for the party? If it gets to tough you can head out early. I would personally try to avoid any drinking occasions in the beginning. I understand that this can not be possible for some.

Blondie0419

Being a DD for the party sounds like a possibility! Do you recommend telling some of your closer friends that you have stopped drinking? I was thinking it might be nice to have someone there that has my back.

Mizzuno

Go ahead and tell one of your friends. Having support is essential in this process. If they are true fiends they will support you with this decision. I think its a fabulous idea. It doesnt have to be a big deal ya know? You can just say that you are not drinking nothing big. I doubt anyone will notice.
Although, going to a party when one has just stopped drinking puts a person on shaky ground. Keep that in mind.

Sapling

I don't know...At a week sober being DD for a bunch of people drinking at a bachelor party was the last thing on my mind...I was only two days out of detox but still...It took me a month or two just to get through the beer ailse at the supermarket...I wasn't taking any chances.....Now I could go to one if I wanted to....Haven't really had the desire to.

ru12

Actually being the DD would be a wonderful thing to do. Your friends get to drink and you get to observe up close and personal all the wonderful things that alcohol, when drunk in excess, does for you! Can't you just hear the witty conversation, the repetitive stories, and the amazing dancing! Really though, you can insure that your friends will get home safely, and that is a good thing.

I don't think you owe anyone an explanation about why you aren't drinking. If you are the DD, they should probably understand why. If not, then explain it to them . . . the DD doesn't drink.

MIRecovery

Staying sober is a series of choices. You need to evaluate each choice by this yard stick. Is this choice moving me towards sobriety or away. I am 3 years sober and there is not a snowballs chance in hell that I would go because it is a choice away from sobriety

RevivingOphelia

No way would I go.

IndaMiricale

All I can say is with a week sober and I went , I would drink like there no tomorrow.Because I know I would justify it by saying oh well , its a week I can do that again.. And dont know when I would stop to start the recovery over again.. I did it to many times..

Sober people, and places for me. But this is just me, some people can be around it. I can be sober for months and drool sometimes by seeing it..

Welcome aboard..

Dee74

Hi and welcome Blondie

I found it really hard to escape my old drinking life.

I was always being pulled back into stuff by well meaning people (and some not so well meaning), and by my own fear of change and my ambivalence about my drinking problem.

When I finally quit for good, I finally accepted that for me to get sober I'd need to make some pretty big changes and face some pretty tough decisions.

I waited a long time before my first party.

I figured there'd be other parties - when I was ready for them and when I knew my recovery would hold up to anything.

D

Mizzuno

In my first week of not drinking (or around there). I was the DD for my husband when we went to a going away party. Alcohol on that night was a non issue for me. I was the driver. I think that it is really the person and what they think they are capable of. Its good to be aware of how vulnerable you can become and if it is detrimental. For me, it wasnt detrimental. I also posted on here that I was going and I posted when I got back. I was accountable for my night.
Not everyone is like this. Some may not be able to go to a party and not drink. Others can.

C23

I personally avoid people when they are drinking. The pointless conversations about nothing, the slurred speech, and the constant explanations of my i am drinking water or club soda get old. Do what you want, but from my experience it wont be too much fun, and once you sign on as DD, you ate forced to stay no matter what.

Sobersunshine

Personally, I wouldn't go. I am missing a very fun weekend as I type this. Boyfriend, horses, mountains, sigh. And I'm here, alone, sober, trying to get over my pity party, lol. The point is, there is tons and tons of alcohol at this event, and at just over a month sober, I knew I couldn't do it. Or, even if I stayed sober, I'd be obsessing over drinking the whole time. Although I am very sad to have missed this event, I know I made the right decision for my sobriety and I don't regret it. I would regret it very much if I went and I slipped, which was a highly likely possibility, no matter how strong I think I could be.
I did go to a small thanksgiving dinner tonight where there was some low key wine drinking. I had water. It was no problem.
So, think about your decision carefully and do want you think is best for you and your sobriety.

artsoul

Welcome Blondie!

Congratulations on your week sober!

I doubt I could have stayed sober at a bachelorette party in the first weeks of sobriety, just because alcohol is usually a big part of those things. I know it's hard to turn it down, especially special occasions like that, but it the safest way to go. Is there a way you could meet them for lunch that day or find another way of participating (like giving them all something fun and inexpensive)?

It really does get easier down the road.