i need u to push me ..... please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 72
thanks again miz. i will do what u said.... and will let u know how it goes. i have a lot of hope in aa. and myself.
this will be the first time since i was 16 to say ....to admit.....that i am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
i am excited to start a new life. scared..... but excited.
this will be the first time since i was 16 to say ....to admit.....that i am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
i am excited to start a new life. scared..... but excited.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Present Moment
Posts: 646
You're going to be just fine Sparky 
Others have said all that I would say to you. I'm so glad you're going.
AA and SR is a GREAT combination for support...a little face to face is very important..ya, know?
We're all behind you.
Big ((hugs))
Others have said all that I would say to you. I'm so glad you're going.
AA and SR is a GREAT combination for support...a little face to face is very important..ya, know?
We're all behind you.
Big ((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you. At my first meeting, I got hugs, a list of women's phone numbers, coffee, and a Big Book signed by everyone at that meeting! If it weren't for AA,I'm pretty sure I'd be drunk tonight. Instead, I'm over one month sober. I tried to quit many times on my own and never made it past 4 weeks. I'm so glad I found AA. Congratulations on taking this scary step, and let us know how it goes!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
You won't be scared anymore once you get in the room..... You'll see a lot of people who have lived in the same misery we have. It's definitely not like any other kind of meeting..... recovering alcoholics are some of the most compassionate (and HONEST) people you'll ever meet. You can't say or do anything wrong, so don't worry about that. Just find someone to sit with and tell them it's your first meeting and you're really nervous. Believe me, they'll understand. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 72
Hi Itchy - thanks so much for remembering that I was planning to go to my 1st meeting today. And thanks to all of you for encouraging me & telling me what to expect. 
Well - I did it!! I went to AA today!
I got a copy of the Big Book, a list of meetings, and names & phone numbers.
There were a few people that I think I really liked.
I'm going to not drink today. That's all I can tell you right now. (Having a stomach bug & coming down with a cold kind of help me not want to drink as badly, LOL)
I'm going to see how I do tonight. I have Klonopin (I currently take it for panic attacks, so if I have bad withdrawals later, I'll take some & call an MD tomorrow). Might not be the very best plan but... that's my plan. Better than no plan, I guess.
Wow.... 30 years. And it all could change. Starting with today. WOW.
Sparky
Well - I did it!! I went to AA today!
I got a copy of the Big Book, a list of meetings, and names & phone numbers.
There were a few people that I think I really liked.
I'm going to not drink today. That's all I can tell you right now. (Having a stomach bug & coming down with a cold kind of help me not want to drink as badly, LOL)
I'm going to see how I do tonight. I have Klonopin (I currently take it for panic attacks, so if I have bad withdrawals later, I'll take some & call an MD tomorrow). Might not be the very best plan but... that's my plan. Better than no plan, I guess.
Wow.... 30 years. And it all could change. Starting with today. WOW.
Sparky
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Sparkelina 
dee.... i will be here tomorrow to tell u how it went. i am expecting nothing short of an epiphany. well..... i am hoping thats how it feels anyway.
I will say the epiphany eventually did happen but I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer so it took a while.
It will not be long before you realize these are really nice people who understand what you are going through because they are just like you.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Congrats Sparkelina!
Yes, even after 30 years it will be different if you hang in there until you are truly recovered. You know what one day at a time leads to right? One lifetime at a time.
In early sobriety you feel the good things even more so, not being dulled chemically, and the stress feels more raw too. That may be why so many relapse, I don't know I am no expert having only done this once with no relapses. Once made a believer out of me!
I can tell you that raw feeling passes, and the fear, as you get used to feeling again. Feeling pain is not a bad thing, if we couldn't feel pain and we leaned on a hot stove we would not know to remove our hands before the damage was great!
You can try to channel that fear into adrenaline action and energy, or trembling and fear. Funny thing is that we were worse drinking than sober and suddenly we aren't doing well enough for ourselves!
I accepted that OK it was good enough before, so good enough for now, and since I was such a critic, I could either get used to my less than stellar performances and sit on my duff, or practice and strive for better, since drinking was no longer an option by my own choice.
No one could help me accept that, only tell me they felt it too. Somehow, that helped me get through it. And over myself.
Yes, even after 30 years it will be different if you hang in there until you are truly recovered. You know what one day at a time leads to right? One lifetime at a time.
In early sobriety you feel the good things even more so, not being dulled chemically, and the stress feels more raw too. That may be why so many relapse, I don't know I am no expert having only done this once with no relapses. Once made a believer out of me!
I can tell you that raw feeling passes, and the fear, as you get used to feeling again. Feeling pain is not a bad thing, if we couldn't feel pain and we leaned on a hot stove we would not know to remove our hands before the damage was great!
You can try to channel that fear into adrenaline action and energy, or trembling and fear. Funny thing is that we were worse drinking than sober and suddenly we aren't doing well enough for ourselves!
I accepted that OK it was good enough before, so good enough for now, and since I was such a critic, I could either get used to my less than stellar performances and sit on my duff, or practice and strive for better, since drinking was no longer an option by my own choice.
No one could help me accept that, only tell me they felt it too. Somehow, that helped me get through it. And over myself.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Awesome news Sparkelina! I'm glad you have a plan.
That phone list they gave you ..... if someone put their number on it, that means the want you to call. My sponsor suggested I start calling some women in the program to say hello .... for practice when I really needed it badly.
I'm proud of you.
That phone list they gave you ..... if someone put their number on it, that means the want you to call. My sponsor suggested I start calling some women in the program to say hello .... for practice when I really needed it badly.
I'm proud of you.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Absolutely fantastic Sparkelina!!!! Now go to a meeting everyday for a while and do not drink in between. I have cut back to 5 meetings a week and I am 3 years sober. It can be done. I am living proof and for me it is an absolute miracle
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