25 Yr old Son Died 5 weeks ago
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: AZ
Posts: 183
KDH - Man.... Wish I could give you a hug right now. Hope you'll accept a virtual one 
I'll try to make this brief for now....
My brother was addicted to heroin (which I didn't know prior to his death) and had gotten in a methadone clinic. He apparently did well at the treatment center, but I also heard shortly before his death that he went somewhere to buy "something" and was mugged. He died 3 weeks later of a "brain aneurysm." I went to his bedside by myself (the other coast) and had to be there and make the decision of withdrawing life support. That is one of the most painful decisions I/we have ever had to make.
I drank A LOT after that. Some things are just too painful to feel.... And for me, I had trouble feeling it when NOT drinking -- I've always been tough...or ... something. Just never been a crier. Finally, the day came....
Now losing a child --- can't imagine the pain. A close friend had his son die in his arms from a heroin overdose, but thankfully the paramedics were able to revive him. He went back out and used, and only God knows what will happen with him. All I can say is to echo what someone else said -- that you sharing this will help a lot of people, including You. Keeping the feelings in will devour you, so let them out somewhere. This is a pretty safe place to do that.
I have my own issues. I'm currently "off the wagon" (which I'll post shortly), but I want you to keep posting and/or reading on here. It truly helps. And there IS grief support as well. You'll be okay. Do what you have to do for YOU. Just know we're all here and we all know pain... and a lot know how to get through the pain.
You've already helped me by sharing. I feel for you deeply. I'm here for ya, too. Feel free to message me privately if you'd like. Take care.
I'll try to make this brief for now....My brother was addicted to heroin (which I didn't know prior to his death) and had gotten in a methadone clinic. He apparently did well at the treatment center, but I also heard shortly before his death that he went somewhere to buy "something" and was mugged. He died 3 weeks later of a "brain aneurysm." I went to his bedside by myself (the other coast) and had to be there and make the decision of withdrawing life support. That is one of the most painful decisions I/we have ever had to make.
I drank A LOT after that. Some things are just too painful to feel.... And for me, I had trouble feeling it when NOT drinking -- I've always been tough...or ... something. Just never been a crier. Finally, the day came....
Now losing a child --- can't imagine the pain. A close friend had his son die in his arms from a heroin overdose, but thankfully the paramedics were able to revive him. He went back out and used, and only God knows what will happen with him. All I can say is to echo what someone else said -- that you sharing this will help a lot of people, including You. Keeping the feelings in will devour you, so let them out somewhere. This is a pretty safe place to do that.
I have my own issues. I'm currently "off the wagon" (which I'll post shortly), but I want you to keep posting and/or reading on here. It truly helps. And there IS grief support as well. You'll be okay. Do what you have to do for YOU. Just know we're all here and we all know pain... and a lot know how to get through the pain.
You've already helped me by sharing. I feel for you deeply. I'm here for ya, too. Feel free to message me privately if you'd like. Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Temecula, CA
Posts: 7
A lot of people have offered a lot of support and encouragement since I posted my and my son's story on here this morning. But your's, for some reason, is the one that touched me. I hope we communicate again soon. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
KDH I am so sorry to read of your loss. Well done for finding the strength to share your story and recognise that you need some help to get through this.
You've helped me today by giving me a sense of perspective. I hope you continue to post and let others help you get through this terrible time. My thoughts are with you xx
You've helped me today by giving me a sense of perspective. I hope you continue to post and let others help you get through this terrible time. My thoughts are with you xx
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. 
I have lost to many people over the many years due to alcohol and drugs. But I have no idea how bad it is for you.. I never had children..
But my mother was heavly addicted to herion for many years. By the grace of god and AA she has been on a methadone program for the last 4 years. Hopefully soon she can get off that also..
I hope you find peace, and try to remember no alcoholic or addict ever dies in vein. We in AA say one dies so another can find the rooms and be saved...
I have lost to many people over the many years due to alcohol and drugs. But I have no idea how bad it is for you.. I never had children..
But my mother was heavly addicted to herion for many years. By the grace of god and AA she has been on a methadone program for the last 4 years. Hopefully soon she can get off that also..
I hope you find peace, and try to remember no alcoholic or addict ever dies in vein. We in AA say one dies so another can find the rooms and be saved...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
I am so sorry for your loss. I just loss my Mom to cancer and my cousin to liver disease. I can't imagine your pain. Please put the drink down, it is making your pain worse.
Can you go to therapy? Grief support?
Can you go to therapy? Grief support?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Temecula, CA
Posts: 7
I appreciate everyones comments, support and sympahthy.
Hard night last night. Watched a recording of my son's Celebration of Life ceremony through to the wee hours of the morning. Today I am bringing some of my son's belongings over to my remaining son's house. That will be hard too. They were very, very close and my remaining son is devastated but he won't talk about his little brother. It breaks my heart to see the pain he is in.
I know many of you recommend I go to a group or get therapy. I am a very private person and that is not something I am comfortable doing. At least not at this point.
Today I am going to take the advice one of you gave me and that is to take today one hour at a time. One day at a time is too long and hard of a journey right now. But maybe I can manage it an hour at a time. Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.
Thanks to each and every one of you.
Hard night last night. Watched a recording of my son's Celebration of Life ceremony through to the wee hours of the morning. Today I am bringing some of my son's belongings over to my remaining son's house. That will be hard too. They were very, very close and my remaining son is devastated but he won't talk about his little brother. It breaks my heart to see the pain he is in.
I know many of you recommend I go to a group or get therapy. I am a very private person and that is not something I am comfortable doing. At least not at this point.
Today I am going to take the advice one of you gave me and that is to take today one hour at a time. One day at a time is too long and hard of a journey right now. But maybe I can manage it an hour at a time. Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.
Thanks to each and every one of you.
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