CommunityDawn

It is lunchtime on day one of not drinking. During the last couple of months, I have stayed sober for periods of a few days at a time but have always returned back to the vicious cycle of drinking.

I am writing this post to try and motivate myself to stick with it this time and to get some support until I can get back to AA meetings. With school holidays coming to an end, I should be able to get to a couple of meetings next week, but I will be arriving late and keeping quiet, leaving right before the serenity prayer. It is my way of gently edging back through that revolving door.

I really am sick of my drinking behaviour and am ashamed about how this has been affecting others in my life. (While my personality doesn't change much while I'm drinking, I have been totally selfish and neglectful in many ways.) I have a horrible case of remorse in my gut at the moment. I know that this will pass.

Thanks for letting me ramble on. :-)

GypsyHeart

best wishes to you CD - sounds like you have done a lot of objective thinking.
ramble all you want and stay strong

artsoul

Welcome CommunityDawn!

I think we all know what that shame feels like. For me it was mixed in with all the depression and anxiety that alcohol caused. It's miserable, isn't it? Just remember that the disease of addiction happens to some of the best and brightest people.

Glad you're here - Better days are ahead and you can do this!

Hevyn

Hi CommunityDawn! SR gave me the encouragement I needed to finally stop - after a lifetime. I know you'll find hope and inspiration here. Glad you joined us!

MycoolFitz

Welcome it can happen

Dee74

Read and post here as much as you like CD - it's certainly helped me...and many many others too

D

Lyingdog

I am back on day one myself CD. Each relaps brings on an even worse drinking cycle for me. I have been very depressed and nervous today. I hope I never foreget the fact that I feel like the walls are closing in on me AGAIN.
HANG IN THEIR BUDDY..... Class of October!

CommunityDawn

I hope that you are hanging in there, Lyingdog. Know that you have company. Hopefully we can all band together to make each other stronger. I'm going to bed sober now. Tomorrow will bring what tomorrow will bring. :-)