Jealous.....
 

Yep, that's me. Jealous that my husband gets to work out of town. Go hunting when he is home, escape the madness of life, while I am forced to be a mother and father, a friend and a ruler. I am so mad right now, but I took a deep breath, and a bath and became grateful. I am grateful that I am able to be here for my kids, get to take them to school, be here to pick them up, know they are safe. Spend dinner time with them, watch their imaginations grow. Enforce rules and lay out expectations. Hug them whenever I want, not just when I come home on the weekends. The last 5 days have really opened my eyes and I can't believe how when I least expect it, I finally start to "get it"..... One little piece A a time. Just had to share! Thanks! Xoxo

'Getting' the gratitude thing was quite an exciting thing for me. When I first got clean and sober I was constantly pissed off with people and thought the world owed me everything...I didn't stay clean long. Now I am just glad that I actually wake up every day and thank God for getting me to where I am.

Yep I completely agree! The thing is in the last few days I have finally "gotten" a few things:
1. The going to aa is different than joining aa.
2. That there is not going to be a magical moment where it all makes sense.
3. If I drink, I'm going to die.
4. The beast creeps up on me when I least expect it. Can't let my guard down.
5. This is MY recovery, and I am doing it for me, first and foremost. Staying sober today is priority número uno!
6. The rewards are slowly showing their pretty little faces
7. Just because I don't have a drink in my hand, doesn't mean that I am not emotional, for the good or bad. --I'm not going to be Mary poppins, just because I am not drinking! Take me for me, or don't take me at all. I'm working on me, one step at a time.

Wise alkie say: A greatful alcoholic doesn't get drunk.

Gratitude is a feeling we have to learn. I know for me, it didn't come easy. My sponsor told me to write a gratitude list, starting with A and go through the alphabet. I started my list as: apple, beef, coins. She was not amused.

You'll keep getting those "aha" moments. I know I did

Your hard work is and will be reward ten fold ..... :)


Keep going and growing and life will just continue to be such a miracle.. :)

You are on your way, Chard - well done!:c011:

I feel that way too, really do. But yes. Thanks for turning it around with the focus of gratitude. Its so important to look at it that way. Its hard for me to think this way but we must practice eh?! Thanks for the reminder.

I think it's great you're putting the focus on the positive and appreciating your family and the chance to be with them. That attitude will get you really far in this recovery process.

On the other hand, it sounds like you could use a break from the routine of doing it all. Could your husband skip hunting and let you go away with your friends (or by yourself) for a change? No one should have to shoulder the majority of the child rearing and housekeeping if they have a partner!

I've been making a gratitude list every night for the past few months on the advice of my sponsor. She likes me to share it with her too. I find it easy to do when things are going well, but she told me its when I'm struggling that its most important.
I've had a difficult week, started feeling a bit lost.
Your post reminded me that I need to start writing. Thankyou!xx

Thank you Chard, former I I'd g me to be grateful instead of resentful.