Healthyfood

I should be celebrating. But Im not.

Yes Im sober, yes its great, but Im so upset. Feels like it will not go away any soon.

On Friday not a very nice person made a rude comment, it upset me a lot. Normal person would probably laugh at it, but not me. I get sensitive to everything people say.

Is there any way I can stop thinking about this. It will continue to ruin my weekend, all I do is think about that person and his attitude.

instant

Well done on your time. We all have work to do in learning to live, he,s got his. Enjoy what you can

Natom

Congrats on your soberclean time. Remind yourself that what that person said IS THEIR STUFF. They most likely said it because something in them is not right. You can only let go of the comment.

mecanix

Learning to let resentments go is the hardest part of my recovery and learning how to live healthily .

I try to think of the person as a whole and imagine why they would be angry and might lash out at someone . If i can build some kind of compassion for their suffering i find it easier to respond with kind thoughts and action .

Bestwishes, M

Dee74

Hi Healthyfood

Congratulations on your sober time.

I'm sorry you were upset.

When someone would upset me in the old days I'd obsess over it for months...now I try very hard not to rent out any head space to toxic people and their bullying and manipulations.

Think of the good things in your life...think of the enormous progress you've made in your life lately.... and leave toxicity behind HF.

Maybe the best thing to do is to keep that person out of your life from now on?

D

CaiHong

Hi Healthyfood,
Fantastic job on the 250 days, I know you weren't always happy with sobriety that's why I think you are fantastic.
I think the hardest thing to deal with in life is other people and relationships. yes once they get in your head it's hard to get them out.

CaiHong

Healthyfood

Dee74

I do think about my sobriety when someone upsets me. It does actually help.
I work with this person, so I can't avoid him.
A tiny word will upset me for days, so need to find the way to be immune to this crap.

Dee74

I think it just takes time then - as you grow in self confidence you'll get better with boundaries, and better at sending out the message about what behaviours you find unacceptable.

If this is a workplace bullying issue tho, I really hope you'll talk to someone HF.
There are laws against that.

D

Healthyfood

Dee

Its not that bad, nowhere near bullying. I would never let that happen. I can be very rude and harsh if I need to.
The guy took me by surprise. But what shocked me was that a small tiny phrase got me so bad that Im still thinking about it. I just can't take any negative words.
Other people do not care about this the way I do.

Ozarkcowboy

Healthyfood,

Congrats on the 250 day mark.Thats fantastic!!

A good quote I read once,don't know by who.... For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Ready2Bmeagain

Congratulations on the 250 days Healthyfood! I am by no means an expert here as I am very early in my recovery myself, but I try to let go of the negative around me as quickly as possible by focusing on the positives around me. I know that it is easier said than done sometimes by I absolutely force myself to ignore people or situations where they will bring me down and focus on the good things.

Best wishes to you!

hypochondriac

I am like you HF and very sensitive to peoples little comments. I try to do what ColoradoMan does too, counteract any negatives with a positive. So if someone criticises you for something, try and think of a compliment someone has made about the same thing or another thing entirely, like 'I may not be very good at x but I am excellent at y'. I don't know what you're upset about so not sure if my example has any relevance, but you get the idea... It is something I try to do all the time though because it takes practice, especially for those of us who constantly just concentrate on all the negatives in our life.

Well done on 250 days x

Mizzuno

250 days? WOW! Awesome.
I wish i could help you on this issue with your co-worker. I have the same issue when it comes to people. I am hyper sensitive and I let things rock my "Center". I'm not comfortable with allowing others to occupy my head space and yet I have no answers on how to stop it. Its a conundrum for me. With this we grow my friend!
I hope that you can have a good weekend. Stay positive.

Healthyfood

Thank you my friends for positive words.

Another coffee and I might go outside to ride my bike.