copperfield

Well I have made it successfully through day 5. Finally sleeping better, actually sleeping real sleep (not passed out sleep), my place is cleaner and I am actually enjoying living here again, much more energy, accomplishing so much more, using my brain again and respecting my body...and yet I still think about when I will be ready to have a drink again. WTF...will these thoughts ever leave - is it only because I am in the first week? My life is so much better without it and I am happier yet I can't wait to have that first drink again...ehhhh

Sobersunshine

You are thinking that way because you earn an alcoholic, and your alcoholic brain is trying to get you to drink again. Mines been doing it all night. Im telling it to f off. I'm one month sober and the irritations of the day and breaking up with my boyfriend will not make me drink. stay strong!

Dee74

I think you have to look at it like this copperfield...

I spent 20 years drinking...and by the end I drank all day every day...even tho that drinking nearly killed me, it still took a little while for me not to want to drink.

Recovery is all about becoming the people we want to be, living the life we want to liVe...that takes a little time...but it's worth the energy and commitment.

I know it's hard, but try to be patient - don't think of yourself waiting to get better...you already ARE better, and getting betterer

D

FreeFall

Copperfield, if you can learn to deal with that addictive voice within it will get easier. Try to focus on why you DON'T want to drink because I bet those reasons will outnumber the reasons why you do. My internal thing goes something like this. I really want to drink tonight-it will be fun to have some laughs with my friends and unwind. But, if I do, I'll have a headache tomorrow. I'll be mad I undid over 2 months of sobriety. I might get stopped for a dui or hurt someone. I might run into someone from work. I might not remember a conversation. As many reasons as it takes to change your own mind

DisplacedGRITS

it takes time Copperfield. that pull is very strong. that voice inside us that says "hey, you're doing so well! you've got this thing beat! go ahead, give it a shot." what a lie. we much be honest with ourselves, no matter how difficult that may be. it's ok. you're still learning what it is to live with this new honesty. when you've been living in that lie for so long, it takes a while to learn to live without it. keep doing what you're doing. you're reaping the rewards. the physical ones are the first to manifest. the mental ones are a little slower to come but they do come the longer you train your brain out of it's old bad habits.

RobC420

I have thoughts of buying a BMW M3, but right now I just can't afford it so I sigh and then move on with my life.

duane1

Have hope Copperfield. The desire will fade in time. You just have to stick with it.

FenwayFaithful

I'm curious too I am so young--24 and I just am having such a hard time grasping the NEVER drinking again and coming to terms with being completely powerless over it and giving up the idea what I will NEVER be able to drink normally, ever. Like I won't be able to toast at my wedding, won't ever have a girls night out with a few cocktails etc...I mean it's tough to accept isn't it?
Maybe bring it is up in an AA meeting hear about other experiences? Next topic meeting I go to that's my plan.

RobC420

That topic gets brought up a lot at meetings I go to and everyone just says "one day at a time" over and over again.

I used to not be able to grasp the idea of not being able to toast at my wedding. Over the years though, my drinking got so bad that eventually I happily gave away any chance of toasting at my wedding in order to escape the hell that I was in. It was a no brainer. When I hit that point I was in no position to negotiate. I had to stop drinking and I was willing to do or not do anything to quit.

Either way, as long as I was drinking there was no way I was getting married anyway. I was too scared to talk to girls. Let alone ask a girl out on a date.

DisplacedGRITS

hey Fenway. i think we can all get caught up in the "I'll nevers..." there's lots of things involving drinking that many of us will never do. but if we continue drinking, that list of "i'll nevers" gets a lot longer and broader.

ACT10Npack

Change I to it when it comes to wanting alcohol. It really help me when I want something to drink and I keep it to the third person and it goes away.

CleanmeupScotty

You brain is trying to reward itself with any possible accomplishment. Clean room---drink,wash car---drink,get a hair cut---drink...You have to train your brain that drinking isn't a reward it is a punishment..

copperfield

Thankyou Everyone for the helpful thoughts of encouragement. ACT10Npak I really like the idea of changing I to it - Im going to try this for sure - i know tomorrow will be a challenge for me so its great to have this to try out.
Thank you everyone!!!!!!!

MIRecovery

AVART is very useful in early sobriety. It took AA to keep me sober long term but AVART helps short term. If you investigate it I would not pay much attention to the AA rants. Each to his own

PurePoison

Love your user name Cleanmeup.

FreeFall

Action that is a very cool hint!