44 days sober and a momentary lapse in judgement...
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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44 days sober and a momentary lapse in judgement...
Hey, everyone!
Just to illustrate one of the many ways addiction rears its ugly head, I have a little story for you all.
In 2011 I had approximately 9 months of sobriety (March-December). I had my cholesterol checked in October 2011 and was VERY disappointed to learn that it was up by nearly 20 points from the year before. I hadn't changed my eating habits at all. The only thing that I DID change was that I had quit drinking alcohol 7 months prior to this blood draw. Of course I attributed the spike in my levels due to my NOT drinking and I was ticked off.
Fast forward to THIS year, 2012. I just had my cholesterol checked, again (I'm required do this for health insurance purposes), and guess what? It DROPPED by 19 points! So, here I am thinking, "Once again, the only thing that I did differently than last year is that I WAS drinking alcohol during the months prior to this blood draw."
And then I started with the crazy self-talk, "Guess I need to start drinking, again, to keep my cholesterol low. Just one nice glass of red wine each evening should do the trick. Sure I can handle just one."
That's when it dawned on me: this type of thinking is sooo irrational!!! Just an attempt to try to convince myself that I can drink, again, without any problem and keep it under control. Yeah, right!
Once I realized that I was being bat sh!t crazy in my thought process, I started researching cholesterol lowering vitamins that I could begin taking, instead. $135 later (thank you, Amazon, and 2 day shipping) I will be getting a whole slew of "veetamens" in the mail this Friday. Yeah for clarity and (eventual) logical reasoning!!!
Just to illustrate one of the many ways addiction rears its ugly head, I have a little story for you all.
In 2011 I had approximately 9 months of sobriety (March-December). I had my cholesterol checked in October 2011 and was VERY disappointed to learn that it was up by nearly 20 points from the year before. I hadn't changed my eating habits at all. The only thing that I DID change was that I had quit drinking alcohol 7 months prior to this blood draw. Of course I attributed the spike in my levels due to my NOT drinking and I was ticked off.
Fast forward to THIS year, 2012. I just had my cholesterol checked, again (I'm required do this for health insurance purposes), and guess what? It DROPPED by 19 points! So, here I am thinking, "Once again, the only thing that I did differently than last year is that I WAS drinking alcohol during the months prior to this blood draw."
And then I started with the crazy self-talk, "Guess I need to start drinking, again, to keep my cholesterol low. Just one nice glass of red wine each evening should do the trick. Sure I can handle just one."
That's when it dawned on me: this type of thinking is sooo irrational!!! Just an attempt to try to convince myself that I can drink, again, without any problem and keep it under control. Yeah, right!Once I realized that I was being bat sh!t crazy in my thought process, I started researching cholesterol lowering vitamins that I could begin taking, instead. $135 later (thank you, Amazon, and 2 day shipping) I will be getting a whole slew of "veetamens" in the mail this Friday. Yeah for clarity and (eventual) logical reasoning!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,225
that sure is crazy thinking. Ok, I'll drink to lower my cholesterol. In the meantime, I'll ruin my liver, heart, brain, and just about everything in my life.
I've had the same crazy thoughts. Our alcoholic demon wants to drink. It'll say anything to try to get us to pick up!
Glad you talked yourself out of that one!
I've had the same crazy thoughts. Our alcoholic demon wants to drink. It'll say anything to try to get us to pick up!
Glad you talked yourself out of that one!
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