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Old 10-03-2012, 07:40 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I do have a plan. This holiday weekend I will be spending time with my mom and my sister far away from where I live, and I don't plan on doing anything other than going out for dinner with an old friend where I will probably have a couple of beers one night in terms of drinking. I have never had a problem going out and having only a few beers, it is when I am at home that the trouble happens.

This may not sound like much of a plan but the past few christmases i have spent down there involve me drinking more and more of my fathers stash of liquor after everyone else has gone to sleep. So, if I can have a healthy relationship with alcohol, and even have some nights of no drinks, I will return home and try to manage my drinking without quitting. If I am unable to do that down there, or it returns to 'bad' levels once I return home, I will try to quit for 30 days and see what happens.

I really hope I don't sound like a story you have all heard before of a person deluding themself. Or even if you have, I hope I am not. That word hope in this context is not good. I don't think I am deluding myself, but only time and my actions will tell.
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Old 10-03-2012, 07:58 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I hope everything goes as you plan, mrritter. Even if things do not work out as you wish them to, I have a feeling that you will learn what you need from your experience. And this is a good thing.

There are thousands of diaries in these pages here, from people who chose to share their experiences with us so that we may learn from them, and you are joining them by sharing with us too. Keep posting, because there is a lot of support here for you on your journey.
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Old 10-03-2012, 08:04 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Wishing you the best with your plan misterritter
remember the door is always open here if you need support.

D
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Old 10-05-2012, 03:34 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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OK. New plan. Today is day two. I have too many other issues to work on right now to have to worry if alcohol is contributing to either the problems or hampering the healing.

I look back and see ways in which drinking has definitely hurt me and I don't think they are that serious. But I also look back and see things that alcohol may have indirectly contributed to (I don't know if it was the cause or an attempt to deal with another issue) and those are things I deeply regret.

So, here goes......................
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Old 10-05-2012, 03:38 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I think the problem is with us lot is that we have incredibly selective thinking. And this thinking is what causes are downfall. We tend to forget all the times drugs or booze had us up against the ropes. We forget the fear and the terror. Our minds provide us with a slightly softened down version of what we actually went through. It also tends to provide us with the experiences you could consider were fun during your using period. It's a horrible thing selective thinking. You just have to remember how bad it was.
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:28 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MrsKing View Post
This question caused me a lot of anguish a while back. Before I got sober, I didn't think there was any need to TOTALLY get rid of alcohol because what if I wasn't an alcoholic? Surely that would be silly to eradicate alcohol from my life when I only needed to learn how to moderate?

Once I stopped entertaining thoughts of why, how, when, etc, and just focussed on the main issue: that alcohol was causing me a lot of anxiety and upset, then I realised that I was better off without it and cut it out completely. It was the best decision I ever made and I will not be going back to it.
Thanks this is essentially the conclusion that I came to. Alcohol could possibly be helping, maybe but it was definitely hurting me.

So, now its the end of day two visiting the parents a time at which I would normally be sneaking shots of whiskey out of my dad's liquor stash in addition to the ones we would share. I find myself really wanting a couple of shots, but I won't and it probably isn't even possible because I doubt there is any there since my dad is travelling right now. I haven't checked though so I guess that is something good.

I told my buddy that when we went out for dinner as we had planned to a couple of weeks ago to commiserate my marital separation with a bunch of beers that I would not be drinking when we went out, so if he wanted to pick a different place, he could. His response was so textbook unhelpful that I had to smile: "what could a couple of beers on one night hurt?"

In a way he is probably right, I wouldn't get drunk. But it would break my decision to quit, and I may not make it again. It was strange though, his pushes to drink were quite easy to push aside, possibly because they were not right in front of me, but I think its more the type of person I am. To automatically say no, which usually is a bad thing for me, but maybe its finally found a good use :-).
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