fallingtogether

Well, a friend brought me a flask at the wake. It's not pretty. I drank yesterday morning. My husband had the kids stay at grandmas. I'm a mess. All alone. Scared, feeling like crap and not knowing how to even begin to apologize to my family. Help me please.

Vall

Awhh Chardonnay (hugs) don't be too hard on yourself you are grieiving, it is a tough moment, you will get back on track I am sure. Your loved ones will understand.

I don't know your history or how long you have been sober but you did it once, you can do it again.

Try not to worry, you probably feel awful now as you are down - it will get betterx

Hollyanne

What happened? Did you make a scene?
If you were emotional, that is ok, no?
Just stop at that and don't make it into a bender.
You did this, you can stop this. Your friend just brought you a flask? Why?

Condolences on your loss.

RobC420

May I suggest calling the AA hotline and going to a meeting ASAP?

Show your family you care by taking care of yourself and getting well.

Sapling

I agree Chard...Maybe going to a meeting today....Stop fighting this stuff and ask for help. And keep some distance from that friend for awhile. Hang in there...We are here for you.

instant

We used to drink everyday and it wasn't a biggie. It is was it is, an opportunity to learn. It's great you are here.

fallingtogether

Called a crisis line, got some phone numbers.

SunnyFlower

Chardonnay-

I'm so sorry! Relapsing is a very painful thing! You have not failed!
Look at the courage it took for you to come back to us and admit it.

Turn this problem into a solution and learn from it. You can do it!

I'm trying to keep a journal, of my daily events, the trigger's that bring on the "urges" or "stinking thinking", The emotions I feel, how I handle them,etc..

AA Meetings are a must for me, as I always leave there feeling better than when I went in. The Big Book is also an important tool.

I know you can do this Chard.... hang in there and keep coming back!

fallingtogether

No one can help me..... I just need to talk to someone!

MrsKing

Look at your signature... you wrote that and believed that once, and you can again.

You're going through a really tough time right now, please don't make yourself feel even worse by beating yourself up and making yourself feel guilty. You are not the first person in the world to relapse and you will definitely not be the last.

I'm so glad you've got in touch with some professionals. We're all here for you, Chardonnay, but maybe it's time to get some outside help.

Wishing you all the best.

fallingtogether

Somebody please tell how to handle this. I am so scared to call my grandma. I'm a sick person. I know this. How do I even begin to apologize.

pipparina

Chardonnay
What is it that you need help with? Telling your family you drank? Are you at home now?

Dee74

I don't know what happened , but you deal with it the same way we all did I think - it's embarrassing, it's awkward and it's uncomfortable - but we have to face the consequences, we get through it and we move on.

Beating yourself up does no good...
What you did yesterday is done. It can't be changed.

Whats far more important to my mind is what you do now, and next .

You can absolutely make today your last day one - you can look back on todays date as a turning point.

I think that's a better thing to focus on
Welcome back

D

Fandy

(nice avi dee, but i loved the cat)

I would handle it by, sobering up, taking a shower, apologize with as little *drama* as possible and take responsibility for my actions. Only YOU can get sober, no one can do it for you. but we all get there one day at a time, so pick yourself up and hit the restart button.

I'm not sure why your friend brought you a flask to a wake, it's disrespectful and certainly not helpful. I wouldn't want that person in my circle for now.

hope today is better and your family gets back on track.

Grace2

Hi Chardonnay

I'm so sorry about your loss and the pain you are suffering right now.

You were and still are grieving, you were and are very vulnerable. Please don't beat yourself up too much about what happened. Today's a new day, so go forwards from here. You've already made a good start by phoning the crisis line, maybe go and see your Doctor too!

Your Grandma and your family love you, they will be upset but you need to be there for one another at this sad time. Draw a line under yesterday now, it's gone.

As I keep saying, falling down isn't failing, staying down is failing, we are only human!

Big hugs and lots of love

Grace xxx

Fandy

I remember being sober for 65 days the first try....i remember driving to the liquor store, sitting in my car, thinking and finally going in, buying wine and standing at my kitchen counter arguing with myself. ultimately i drank and it was a "quiet slip", but it took me a few days to get my footing.

there is no shame in hitting the restart button, you want to feel good about yourself and you will....don't pile the guilt on yourself, it only makes it harder.

fallingtogether

Yes I don't even want to call my grama, but it needs to happen. I was a mess there. How embarrassing for her. What a crappy representation of myself and my family. I don't know how to move forward, because I don't feel like I deserve it.

Jeni26

Chardonnay, I relapsed after 7 weeks. As you say it wasn't pretty. I was an absolute mess. Emotionally off the scale, blackout drunk, awful scene.
I didn't think I could come back from it either, but I did and you can too.
Say sorry to those you affected. It's tough but you can do it. Get back on the wagon. Throw yourself back into sobriety.
That happened over 4 months ago for me, and life has got better because I was able to learn from it.
You can do this xxx

Fandy

well, you know her better than I do, but it's up to you. No one likes the consequences of a bad experience, but in drinking over and over we keep getting them.

fallingtogether

I called her and admitted my problems and apologized and asked for her forgiveness. I told her that I drink to cope with feelings. Because I don't want to feel pain. It was hard but I did it.