Looking everywhere
 

I looked under the bed and in the closet
Ive been looking out on my runs
"Maybe its behind this tree"
Ive looked under the couch
Looked for it here on SR
I looked at work and looked in a book
Its been a few weeks since I lost it
I looked into P.A.W.S
When I looked inside of myself, I saw that my HAPPINESS put up a sign that said it was on vacation. I dont know when it will return. There was no date attached.

I think we create our own happiness. I think happiness comes as the result of doing good things. Good things for ourselves, and for others.

You get to create your day. You can make it anything you want. You can do anything.

Ive been working on things internally, helping people, doing positive things for myself. I feel stale. I am a stale piece of dried out bread. I thought that if i shared it might change my internal state.

What could make you happy Mizzuno?

It will appear eventually, it's all part of human nature whether we like it or not, recognising it isn't always easy believe me :>

Beats me Vall. Something has been off for awhile. I finally realized that I am a lump on a log......( Im laughing at myself when I describe what i am right now....stale bread....lump. Its entertaining) Anyways, Im accessing the situation and acknowledging my frame of mind. Maybe admitting that i have a issue right now will change how i feel.

Mizzuno

Happiness is a muscle we must use everyday to keep it healthy. I often have to make the conscious choice to be happy. It's never been something that comes along and hits me over the head.

It's also one of those things that happens when you are not looking for it. It will sneak up on you. I promise you will be happy again. It's a promise I feel sure I can make to you.

Ken

Mizzuno,
Congrats on being sober for more than a few weeks. I am sorry you feel unhappy. Being sober doesn't bring happiness with it, sometimes it is the absence of the fear and sickness physically, and emotionally, that lets us heal over time. Being unhappy sober has advantages over being unhappy drunk but masking it and not dealing with it only leaves a trail of trouble.

It took me three months to actually feel stable, and six months to start to see that my set of PAWS were going to heal after all. It takes a lot more time than we realize. Detox is only the start.

I have found that for me, numbness was not happiness. But it helped me avoid having to do anything about my own lack of happiness. No matter how much I drank, or how far I ran, I always brought myself with me. I never equated alcohol with happiness, just giving life the finger. Life gives it back for a bit when we first get sober. Some more than others. This too shall pass.

I will stop neglecting my happiness muscle. I will take it out with me on my runs and make sure that it has a good diet. Hopefully it gets with the program.

Yes. Walking into sobriety will not bring happiness. Wherever I go, there i am. When i stop to think about all that has been going on, I realize that there has been a lot on my plate of life. Heaps and piles of life. Life is life. I will take this dull feeling of unhappiness over drinking. You are right "This too shall pass" .... Thank you!

If I look at my track record, it is clear that I am terrible at making myself happy. In fact I can't think of any situaation in which I set out to make myself happy and succeeded. I'm talking real, lasting happiness. There have been many moments of temporary satisfaction, excitement, joy etc, but nothing I did ever created lasting happiness.
Now I am happy with my life. That happiness is a bi- product of living a better life. Of an honest desire to be of service and acting on that desire. Happiness was manifested in my life. I did not create it.
Now, of course, I have some rough days. Happiness is nowhere to be found, but if I do the right things, fit myself to be of service, talk to God then I can get on track and soon happiness returns.

You were looking in the right location. Inside.

Look within for your sadness and send it on vacation too. Then await the return of your happiness.

Perzactly!

:You_Rock_

I feel like a lump too, so you're not the only one. Very lethargic, very apathetic, very blah. It feels more like a physical thing than a mental thing.

I'm going to try a list of 7 things and see what happens. If it makes me feel happier with more energy, will repeat daily and add on...

One thing that will make me laugh, maybe a youtube video of Ed Grimley
One exercise thing, maybe a walk on the beach
One TV show or movie I've wanted to watch
One good deed for someone else
One cooking or craft project
One cd to listen to
One long hot shower

Try to tell yourself this will pass and move through it, from what everyone says here it does come in stages and will rebound.

(((((Mizzuno))))

Boy did this thread and your posts bring up the memories of the first time this happened to me.

I went to my sponsor and we discussed this. Actually she did most of the talking and I listened, rofl

Turned out for me, I had been cleaning up the wreckage of my past, I was helping others, and there was no drama in my life. My life was actually peaceful and I just didn't know what that was, roflmao

What I was feeling was contentment! WOW turns out I was having a different form of 'happiness'. And I learned to enjoy that contentment also, because yep "this too shall pass" happened. However, it has returned many times since that episode and I have learned to be happy for:

no wreckage to clean up
no drama
and I continue to help and work with others.

You are growing my friend and that is AWESOME!!!!!

I found that the first few years into recovery I had to ask about many different 'feelings' and 'emotions' I was having. I had NUMBED myself so well for so many years that I had no clue and needed help putting the correct label on what I was feeling.

Thank you for starting this thread.

Love and hugs,

I'm just going to keep on keeping on. Adding in some laughter, adding in some giving, remaining positive....making sure the drama stays at bay.Breathing in and out. This will pass.
@ freshstart. I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm sure there is more than a few of us with the BLAHS
@ Laurie.... I like what you had to say. I am growing. Sometimes its uncomfortable. I'm in the perfect spot...right where I should be.

Good for you Mizzuno.

I like these quotes about happiness:>

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of."
― Albert Camus

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family,
in another city.”
― George Burns

“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.”
― Chuck Palahniuk

x

I think some of us can dig some pretty deep holes for ourselves Mizzuno...

I know it took me quite a while to climb out back into the sun, but people here told me I would, eventually, and I trusted them. They were right. :)

and then like Laurie said, it took me a while to work out what this strange sorta uncomfortable feeling was...

I kept expecting drama and trouble around the next corner...it took me a while to stop doing that :)

Stick with it...you're on the right road - trust me :)

D

@ doggoncarl . Yea, I'm asking unhappiness to go on vacation indefinitely. It serves no purpose right now.

@ Dee. Thanks. I'm on the right course. I'm stickin with it.