sick and tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: delhi
Posts: 1
sick and tired
my usage started with opiates at age 17 , opiates is my drug of choice and usually i use benzos and alcohol as chasers, i was in brown sugar ,till my folks found out and put me on naltroxene
my marriage broke apart a year back because i overdosed (8th one ) in front of my ex wife and in laws, i dont think i have been ever clean for more than a month, i.e when they put me on naltroxene i stayed of opiates , but shifted to alcohol thinking its socially and morally more acceptable, am a functional addict who holds a great job and tends to hide his usage but lately as i am aging my body is giving up.
for the last 7 months , i.s after my divorce i have been using codeine -approx 1000 mg benzos approx 2 mg alprozam and alcohol approx 200 ml everyday.
i know i am sick and i am desperate to be like others, who can enjoy a movie or socialize without getting high.
i have seen numerous shrinks , been on naltroxene for 5 years , but have always found a substitute.
i m scared now and i want to go clean , with the kind of job i do its impossible to attend NA regularly.
i am confused if i should use tapering esp with benzos as i know what going cold turkey on benzos does, i have this terrible guilt but i change my mind every day.
i am aware of everything on how to detox and start afresh, but my mind plays games. rehab cant be an option at this stage as i have work commitments.
but today i was happy cos there was an official event and i didnt drink, i was high on other stuff but that just has stopped having effects .
suggestions welcome on how to go about it. cos delay is the biggest form of denial and i am in both. i have alice in chains no excuses playing and i completely relate to it at this moment .
my marriage broke apart a year back because i overdosed (8th one ) in front of my ex wife and in laws, i dont think i have been ever clean for more than a month, i.e when they put me on naltroxene i stayed of opiates , but shifted to alcohol thinking its socially and morally more acceptable, am a functional addict who holds a great job and tends to hide his usage but lately as i am aging my body is giving up.
for the last 7 months , i.s after my divorce i have been using codeine -approx 1000 mg benzos approx 2 mg alprozam and alcohol approx 200 ml everyday.
i know i am sick and i am desperate to be like others, who can enjoy a movie or socialize without getting high.
i have seen numerous shrinks , been on naltroxene for 5 years , but have always found a substitute.
i m scared now and i want to go clean , with the kind of job i do its impossible to attend NA regularly.
i am confused if i should use tapering esp with benzos as i know what going cold turkey on benzos does, i have this terrible guilt but i change my mind every day.
i am aware of everything on how to detox and start afresh, but my mind plays games. rehab cant be an option at this stage as i have work commitments.
but today i was happy cos there was an official event and i didnt drink, i was high on other stuff but that just has stopped having effects .
suggestions welcome on how to go about it. cos delay is the biggest form of denial and i am in both. i have alice in chains no excuses playing and i completely relate to it at this moment .
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((dasade)) - Welcome to SR! You sound a lot like I used to be - my DOC (drug of choice) was MORE of whatever.
I highly recommend you get checked out by a dr. and be honest about what you're using. Stopping alcohol and/or benzos can lead to major medical issues.
I hope you read around - you will find you are definitely not alone. SR has been my main source of support and I've got over 5 years clean. You can do it, you deserve a life without all the things to numb your real feelings.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I highly recommend you get checked out by a dr. and be honest about what you're using. Stopping alcohol and/or benzos can lead to major medical issues.
I hope you read around - you will find you are definitely not alone. SR has been my main source of support and I've got over 5 years clean. You can do it, you deserve a life without all the things to numb your real feelings.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi dasade 
I have no personal experience to share with the other drugs but multiple addictions are tricky - Impurrfects advice about seeing a Dr seems spot on to me.
What kind of support do you have? I find support to be vital - I need to feel connected, and when I need to reach out for help, I like to know that I have people there who'll answer and help.
You'll find a lot of experience and support here though - you might also like to check out our substance abuse forum as well:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR
D
I have no personal experience to share with the other drugs but multiple addictions are tricky - Impurrfects advice about seeing a Dr seems spot on to me.
What kind of support do you have? I find support to be vital - I need to feel connected, and when I need to reach out for help, I like to know that I have people there who'll answer and help.
You'll find a lot of experience and support here though - you might also like to check out our substance abuse forum as well:
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Welcome to SR
D
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