MissyShelle76

This is my second attempt at sobriety. My last one lasted 42 days. Today, OMG, am just pissy, so pissy. I have a meeting to go to in a bit (A women's meeting hosted by my Sponsor). I don't want to go, but know I need to. Especially since I feel like this.

Today, I just feel angry. Angry at what I let alcohol take from me yet also angry that I can't just go out with friends, have a few drinks and resume normal life. Angry that every choice I make right now has to be run through the Alcohol Litmus test:

will this help me in recovery?
Will anything about it keep me sober or heighten chances of relapse?

Just one of those days. I'm freaking pi$$ed and I hate it.

god, I hope this is normal.

seanie1888

Yeah them days suck Shelle,
Go your meeting and have a early nite, you mite feel better in morning and stronger about your sobriety
:-)

Sel

Day 9 for me too. Hng in there. We'll make it.

Seanie is right. AA, especially a women's meeting ( i should go to one of those too) will be good for you. I am sure afterwards you wont think so much about drinking and your anger about the past.

pipparina

First, congrats on your day count.

The mood swings were tough for me in the beginning. One minute I was fine, the next minute I was sobbing. I had no idea why. But no matter how I felt, I just did not pick up a drink. The feeling would pass, and as I had more sober time, my mood leveled out. This will happen to you too. It just takes time to heal.

I heard in early sobriety "you can start your day over at any time", meaning that just because I woke up in a bad mood, didn't mean I had to stay that way. I bet you feel better after your meeting!

Hexipuff

Perfectly normal Missy. Days are good, days are bad, days are indifferent especially in early sobriety. We have to break the old patterns. Yes as with anything new or different we don't adjust well or immediately. We want to rebel, we are angry, we feel constrained around these rules of not drinking.
A bit like dieting when all you think about is food only our relapse would be worse than eating a whole cream cake...

When we are sober - are we that different to other people?
I spent a lot of time wanting to be 'normal' live a 'normal' life. You knowit is just wonderful now being the true me. No game playing, no lies, no guilt and no alcohol

Now 90% of the time I am just like other people which is how I like my life
Now I realise I am normal. Most of the time it doesn't matter that I don't drink. And in the situations when others are I choose not to and hey you know no-one calls me a freak for doing so.

I also have new friends, faith and more love and support of people here and in AA than I could have ever dreamed off. I call that the silver lining of alcoholism

No life isn't a bed of roses all the time but than no matter who you are life is not like that
I can't drink - hey poo happens. I can live life, read, learn, love, give, share, remember...... the list is endless. Drinking is only one thing in life I can't do - I will have to live with that deal to enjoy living
Some days that makes me angry but more often than not now I don't care. I will not drink so I can have a full life and be nice to have around....

2granddaughters

Stay "on the beam" Missy. You'll be fine. Tell the girls how you are feeling.

All the best.

Bob R

NoFireWater

Yes, it's normal. I have had days when I'm so mad I can't just go back to my "fun" lifestyle and enjoy my friends and relax. It does pass, and gets much easier with time. I try to balance those days with remembering how equally mad I was when I had a hangover and couldn't do what I'd planned to do, or
didn't remember something that happened,,etc. You'll get through it!

Zee

Hi there
It took me a good few months to lose the anger. I was mad at everyone, but especially at myself... which I tended to take out on other people! I have found a degree of acceptance now. I have also found that I can have natural highs again... a real good belly laugh! Thats the best feeling ever for me! Enjoy the meeting if you can, I bet you will once you are there Tell us how it went x

Dee74

Like others have said...it's normal Shelly.
I don't particularly like feeling angry tho so I tried to force myself to focus on the good things I had in my life...and turn to focus to what I had and what I wanted to gain rather than what I'd done, or perhaps lost...

I think gratitude's a very important element of recovery

D

MissyShelle76

I went to the meeting and it helped. I'm feeling calmer now and realizing I'm grieving something that caused me pain...sigh. Just some bad thinking. Now Im about to settle in for a fun night with my daughters.

thanks everyone! xxxx

Sapling

That's good...You didn't drink and you feel calmer...Something must be working...Nice job!!