Socializing in Early Recovery
 

I'm only 8 days in and was invited to a cook-out with a bunch of classmates. There will be food & alcohol. I don't trust myself enough yet to be around alcohol without wanting to drink, and I'm not comfortable being the only sober person there. One of the reasons I was so hesitant to quit drinking was because I didn't want to feel left out. And now I do, if only because I can't be around alcohol for a while.

Anyone have any tips or advice for dealing with situations like these?

SS, If you don't trust yourself yet and aren't comfortable, I wouldn't go. I quit in June and have declined some events this summer....I figure, there's always next summer when I feel stronger.

I am attending a family wedding in Oct. and know there will be an open bar and free flowing wine. I'm already considering my beverage choices and will stick close to my Dad - who is VERY proud of me for not drinking:)

StrictScrutiny,

In my view one of the most helpful things to do after quitting an addiction is to learn to listen to our bodies and pay attention to what is going on in our minds. Listening to the part of yourself that says "this isn't safe" or "I don't feel comfortable doing that yet" is good practice.

Remember that there are months, years and decades ahead of you where you won't--I promise, you won't--feel uncomfortable around alcohol. But for now, it sounds like it's just too much, and that's okay.

Thanks for the advice and support! I decided to forgo the event, instead I'm drinking coffee and journaling -- I'll probably hit up a meeting tonight, too.

Wise choice. I avoided any situation that I feared would make me uncomfortable, either by creating a desire to drink, of feeling alienated around a bunch of people drinking. At the time I thought it was such a big deal to decline these events, but it kept me out of danger, and for the life of me I cannot even remember what the invites were for.

Another thing that helped me when I had no choice but to go to something where there would be a lot of drinking was to ask one of my sober buddies to be on call. So if I felt uncomfortable, I'd sneek away and call someone for some support.

I find it hard to socialize and I have not had a drink in nearly 15 months. I have been out a few times but I get really pissed off with people constantly trying to force a drink on me when

It's day 13 and I'm really struggling with the social thing at the moment, I know I don't want to drink, never want to be drunk again but I feel like I'm missing out and feel all alone :(

You have to do what feels right for you, but don't feel uncomfortable being the only person sober - they wont know and if you are comfortable with you which I am sure you are....it would be their problem then.

I've been telling everyone I'm "sick" these past 2 weeks. Lol.

SS,
Enjoy your meeting. You'll have no regrets in the morning.

I took time out from those kinds of things until I knew my recovery would be able to stand up to whatever situation I was in, and whatever company...

for me that took a few months...but I look back at that time now as a great investment....and weighed against the rest of my life? a few months is a drop in the ocean :)

There's no need to be a hermit tho - there's any number of things we can do that don't or needn't involve alcoholic at all...the only limit is our imagination :)

D

I'm sober 61 days and haven't gone to a party yet, I didn't trust myself. I sent a few of my friends a text explaining why and they were all supportive. Today I'm making my first party I'm going to take a six pack of NA and drive separately, if it gets to be yoo much i can leave. If ur doubting yourself I think ur making the right decision by declining. Keep your chin up!!