Michael66

Well done for making that first really important step Vladimir.

jennikate

We've all been where you are now. Feeling hopeless, lost, ashamed. I promise you it does get better. My first AA meeting was terrifying and I projected all kinds of thoughts that I supposed that others were having. Now I know the warm, welcoming feeling that I feel when a newcomer arrives.
There is no obligation to talk. They may ask you to introduce yourself. Other than that you can say pass. The last time I came into the rooms (the only time I truly wanted and was ready to be there), I was crying so hard I couldn't speak. It's ok-if you didn't feel nervous and embarassed, you wouldn't be human. Give it a try and good luck.

Dee74

I think everyone has felt those feeling and had those fears Vladimir.

The one thing to remember is staying sober can only make things better - it may not happen instantly and there may be just a little rough weather to negotiate yet...but you're not alone

I'm really glad you've found us
When in doubt keep moving forward

D

least

Welcome to the site! You've indeed taken the first step toward recovery in just admitting the problem. We are here to support each other.

artsoul

Welcome Vladimir!

Don't hesitate to see a doctor for help detoxing if you're feeling really bad. I'm glad you found this forum.... it was a life-saver for me. It's all a bit scary at first, but (as AA suggests) take it a day at a time, or an hour at a time if that seems more doable.

Like so many here, I found that my depression and anxiety lifted once I got sober. Keep reading and posting - you can do this!

IWillWin

We are all in the same boat...rowing together we can go further much faster!

I'm 40. I also don't know how it happened or why or how I could have stopped it. Doesn't matter anymore - I let it go. Can't change the past and moving forward is the only option. I've made the choice to fight like heck to do it sober...drunk me is not someone I like and I'm determined to never see that person again. She will stay on my past along with the guilt, shame and general awfulness.

So glad you found us, Vlad! Hey, I was a poet and didn't know it

Welcome!!!!!!!

Sel

Vladimir and Sapling

Very similar to my story too, minus the husband and family.

Vladimir- im new here too and like you i tried to treat stress, anxiety with alcohol.

I think many of us , like I heard at AA meetings too that we choose alcohol to treat stress anxiety or depression.

8 days ago I found this forum, and like you, i typed a post seeking help in tears. Sapling here and many others have been very encouraging. When i had my daughter pour out half bottle of vodka ( trust me they can smell it) i was at rock bottom but i had made my decision. It was either death if i kept drinking or poverty, no life and no life for my child. Today my job told me I am being terminated because I passed out at work with a BAC of 536!!!, try EMT carrying you out in front of everyone and I was still trying to hold on to my vodka drink!!!! Can you say SHAME????

You can do it. With the help of your family, friends and husband ( i have none of that) you can do it. You need to really want to do it and accept their help.

Many people here have been sober for such a long time. They encouraged me to go to AA meetings and it does help.
Like I said I am new to this sobriety thing but for me it was losing my job, the putcome, shame, guilt all of that. And for you maybe it is the ultimatum your husband gave you.