willynilly

Why do I feel like such utter crap today? Yeah, I know life is hard sometimes, but this is beyond the Pale. Could it be that I've been on a a 3-week beer bender with no end in sight? I drink myself into a stupor every night and pass out only to wake up and do it again. The walk to the liquor store is the absolute worst - thoughts like, "You were going to quit today and run 10 miles tonight. What went wrong?" I'm not suicidal in any way and would definitely seek help if I were, but sometimes life seems unbearable, just one long uphill slog. I know that alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, so it's no wonder it drags me down into such abject misery. Why, then the attraction? I guess**it's just that I feel so euphoric after 2-3 weeks of abstinence that I delude myself into thinking I can "handle" a six-pack. Never pans out that way, though. So ... I guess my question for the forum is, "does booze drag you down to deep, dark places the way it does me?" Again, I would never harm myself (and am currently seeing a doc), but I guess I'm just amazed at how profoundly alcohol can negatively affect my emotions and worldview overall. Help! Any comments/thoughts greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot!

artsoul

Absolutely! The more I drank, the more depressed and anxious I became. Everything - even the little stuff - seemed like a major chore. I was never suicidal either, but there were plenty of mornings I woke up thinking I wouldn't mind it if I died. Not fun.

So... you said about your bender that there's "no end in sight." It doesn't sound like you want to live this way, though. What about getting help or at least talking to your doctor?

Sapling

I've been a member in good standing of Alcoholics Anonymous for 15 months.....We read this before every meeting in my homegroup. I can never hear it enough.

Chapter 3


MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

IndaMiricale

AA has shown this drunk how to live and enjoy life..

Dee74

Absolutely for me too.

I became quite a different person eventually - morose, negative, bitter, filled with self loathing yet contemptous of others....

Itb wasn;t til I'd stopped drinking for a while that I realised that wasn;t the real me at all. There was another me, before booze, I'd completely forgotten.

It's nice to have that me back again

It's good to see you back again too willy - you can make this a lifechanging day if you want - there's a ton of support here

D

soberbrooke

I felt that way for about 10 years, the last 10 of my drinking years, that is. Now, being sober, I have never felt better. It took some work, but I did it. What I was missing in my life was the power of something greater than myself, which is the Creative Forces, or God, as most people call It. I am so much happier now, even when the life around me looks bleak, I can look at it from a different point of view. I do not solve my problems anymore, I let go of them now. I really don't have too many that I am cleaning up at this point, but there was a lot in the beginning. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I did something about it.

Just4Now

Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.

I truely thought it was just me until I joined SR