Please tell me that I am not the only one
 

That has lost the trust of everyone important to him/her. My wife can't believe a word I say anymore because of all the lies I have told her. It is always about drinking. I hide how much I drink and lie about it. I sneer out of the house when she sleeps to drink more. When I get busted I tell her I will not ever do it again (with good intentions) but when I drink all of my opinions and moral values are gone. The next day I feel so much guilt and anxiety. I tell myself that I will do better but deep down I know tht will change with a few drinks.
I hope and Pre that I never drink another drop and will gain the trust of my wife sooner rather than later. My story is longer than the above but that is where I am at right now.
I am happy to be a part of this message board! It is nice to be able to share with people who understand me. My wife is not an alcohaulic and does not understand that I am a different person when I drink. I quit drinking for 5or 6 years and, a few months ago, decided it would be good for me to start drinking again. I thought it would loosen me up and get along with my wife better. I was right. But after a few weeks I lost what little control I had. I am just the way I was before. How could I foreget why I quit in the first place.
This time I am going to commit my self to meetings and a sponsor!
Thanks....

No you're not alone....

Welcome to the site! :hug: We are here to support each other so just keep reaching out.:)

Sounds like you are a garden variety alcoholic.

I have done so much damage that at 3 years of being sober my wife and kids still are unsure if they trust me. There is a lot more trust than there was but no way is it 100% The way I look at it is I drank and lied for 20 years maybe 20 years of being sober and honesty will make them trust me again. I do not worry about it much because all I have to be honest with is myself and my higher power and I believe eventual the trust of other will come.

For me AA worked and it can work for you. I go to lots of meeting, I believe in a higher power, I have a sponsor, I have tons of sober friends, I have a sponsee, I work the steps, read the literature and most importantly I do what I am told by people that have long term sobriety.

You can do it one day at a time like millions of others. "Any fool can stay sober for a day"

Thanks for the support. I just got a text from my wife asking me to move out for a while. I hope and pray I can change her mind. I am an honest person with a good reputation around this small town. But to her right now I am just a lier. I don't blame her but I feel so down and depressed right now. I wish this was over and I have the relationship back with my wife that we have enjoyed over the past several weeks (minus the drinking)
If you believe in prayer.... Pleas pray for me, my wife, and my two children.

I will pray for you, our new friend. Join Zseptember class to sober up. Stay strong for your kids, they need you

I am in AL, are we close? Maybe we could have coffee

Wishing you the best of luck and hope this gets resolved to the happiness of your whole family.

I am in Notheast AL. What part ate you in?:thanks

Do not be down because there is a solution and all you have to do is reach out and grasp it. Get off the pity pot and do something about it. Do it today, do it now! Today is all we have so do what needs to be done, do the next right thing.

Sobriety is not an event it is a process made up of a bunch of tiny steps. I will definitely say a prayer but all the praying in the world will do no good unless you are willing to change and take responsibility for your own sobriety by taking the first step.

You may reach out to me anytime via PM

Oh shame, I am in Mobile! Would be nice to meet a friend. Hang tough. I pray for you, what's your name, if you don't mind, send it in a PM. You can do this, friend.

I will PM you as soon as I get 5th 5th post and they let me lol. Talk to you soon.
This board has been great for me!

Welcome to SR. Glad you are here.

Welcome Lyingdog -

I think we lie about our drinking because we feel so ashamed. I thought I protecting my loved ones, too. I didn't want them to worry about me.

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Keep reading and posting - it really helps. Sending prayers and hugs....:grouphug:

Thanks everyone. This has been such a big help. Glad I am able to share anytime I feel the need.

You're never alone here

Love, Heath480 tag line. "Sobriety delivers everything Alcohol promised."

I have found this to be 100% true

Welcome!

I sure understand how lost it feels when no one in your life trusts you or believes in you.

But, know for sure that you can change this. Show your wife by your actions, that you are changing.

The alcoholic views themselves through the eyes of their intentions while the world views the alcoholic through the eyes of their actions

That is so true MIRecovery. I live that little gem!