MycoolFitz

Turned out it was my lap top so I figured I'd make the best out of it. Funny thing she divorced after I sobered 4 years ago because i wasn't funny anymore, spent too much time doing recovery stuff. sometimes you can't win for losing but I'm doing the best I can and if I want to meditate, read recovery stuff, be on SR I can. I spent my whole life trying to please others and lost myself. Maybe should be a prequel to the first step, discover yourself. I will not spoon my my laptop tonight.

Dee74

Wishing you peace, Fitz - you deserve it

D

elihoping

Fitz, laptops need love too.

sobern2003

lol

Lionhearted1

i know exactly how you feel mate, iam also being told i spend too much time on my recovery when i was drinking she wanted out now iam in recovery she moans! does anyone understand why its like that??

Southerner

Not sure if it's an Apple or Windows-based, but if it's an Apple you may want to check the end user agreement. You may have unwittingly agreed to spoon with it a certain number of nights per month. At least until it's no longer attractive to you and there is a newer and sexier model...

Threshold

Hey fitz...I know your lonely...been having that myself these past couple of weeks, maybe its the weather cooling down, but it feels harder to take these days (nights)

My spouse divorced me after I got into recovery as well. Felt like an extra slap in the face, but..oh well. It really hit home that I have to be doing this recovery thing for ME, because ME is all I have.

I often fall asleep listening to a guided meditation on youtube, it makes me feel less lonely to have a voice, a gentle caring voice in my ear.

Vall

You sound pretty darn funny to me sometimes dear Fitz :> I've only just worked out your spoon comment...I won't tell you all the things I was thinking it meant 8-)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz me too. I will force myself to go out on a long long run before I go to bed tonight.

MycoolFitz

Well I made it through the night and amazingly the sun rose in the East. The laundry didn't do itself nor the food shelf get stocked nor the plants watered so I guess its up to me. Dang responsibilities. I had meant to say she thought I wasn't fun anymore. I did spend a lot of time with recovery lit and stuff but I was just struggling to make it. Takes time to find balance. Hey I'm breathing, what's there to complain about. I do have a pretty serious relationship with my laptop, guuess that's why its called a laptop.

NoFireWater

It's really hard to maintain the same relationship when one is sober and one is drinking. I've lived it. My boyfriend quit years before me. We used to have so much fun when he was drinking-he was gregarious, silly, liked to go out, and he opened up and shared his feelings more. When he quit, he became a homebody, and the silliness and fun were pretty much gone. This is when we started living together so it was stressful for me, I missed the old person, but at the same time appreciated how hard it was to quit and how much better for him it was. Over the years more of his old personality has started to come back, and I'm happy with him-it was just an odd transition. Often people make the decision when the time is right for them, and their partners are just along for the ride.

It's got to be frustrating to have someone criticize your drinking and then leave when you stop!! Maybe the person who will appreciate you for who you are is right around the corner

DeepBreath2012

Fitz, I had to lol at the visual of you spooning your laptop! I understand the lonliness...I've taken to a long body pillow in addition to my dogs; somedays it's enough, but others...

I remember when I was younger and my mother would be in a drunken rage telling me how selfish I was. My response, "if I don't put me first, no one else will."

I stand by that today and hope you at least can find peace knowing you are doing the best thing for you!

MIRecovery

I have found that alcohol pretty much scrambled all aspects of my life. It was such a huge part of who I was and then one day I choose to say good bye to my best friend/biggest enemy.

It has taken a lot of time for things to straighten themselves out and I still am discovering who I am. Relationships have been lost, relationships have been gained, relationships have changed.

When they say, "You only have to change one thing.... Everything" they are not kidding. As others have said, "You have to put your sobriety first because with out it all aspects of you life will turn to $hit."

All I can say is although life is very different it is so much better than it was and I have a hope for the future that never existed before.