|
Originally Posted by Chardonnay740
(Post 3593588)
Thanks for the overwhelming responses. I did talk for a minute about it tonight and just told them that I am committing to not drinking. I have not been drinking as much as I was before. I am sure they have noticed and yesterday was a huge setback. I apologized and said we all make mistakes. They were and are very forgiving. We are together all the time. I think it's important they know that I see its a problem. And that I am accountable. Best of luck to everyone else asking themselves this same question. |
When I quit drinking 14 years ago my kids were 5 and 7. They had seen me drunk, but they didn't know I was drunk: they only knew that I was mean to them sometimes and that I'd been carried off to the hospital once by paramedics. I too struggled with what to tell them. Addiction is hard enough for US to understand, much less for little kids. I decided the best thing was to explain to them what they could understand and then expand on the explanation as they got older. So at first I told them that mommy had been sick and the sickness had made her mean. I apologized and said I was working on getting better and being a better mommy. As they got older I explained more and more including the possibility that they may be predisposed themselves to become addicted. I never hid anything from them--but I did consider their ages when deciding what to say. Now that they are in college, they are faced with their own decisions about drinking and drug use and the cool thing is that they talk to me about such things very comfortably, because we've established that over the years. |
When I was an early teen, my mom sat me down and had that talk with me. She hadn't quit (yet), and I was actually pretty angry as it seemed to me that she was making excuses, telling me about all her reasons for becoming an alcoholic, excuses. Then she drank for a few more years. I didn't CARE about the details, it was too much information that she (in my opinion) had no business laying on me. I still think back to that talk and feel uncomfortable. Then, a few years later she (and my dad) quit drinking and never looked back. THAT was the important stuff, I don't want to know why, how or anything, I just wanted a sober mom who was dependable, trustworthy and present. That being said, I know there are a few books for kids about alcoholism, but really until you have some significant sober time I think it's unfair to present hope and a finality to it that might not quite be real yet. |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:18 AM. |