Threshold

I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict. People often use the term "high functioning alcoholic" about themselves or another who still has a job, a relationship and hasn't yet wound up in jail or the hospital.

I wonder is it really that some of us are high functioning or that the bill collector, so to speak, hasn't caught up with us.

Many of us would admit it's sheer dumb luck we haven't gotten a DUI, or been fired, or had our spouse walk out on us, etc etc.

But luck is a funny thing. Ironically people who hit their bottoms sooner, because their luck ran out, may realize that they NEED to address their drinking and get help sooner. while the so called Lucky ones... can stay in denial, since life isn't that bad YET.

It's like a matter of having to declare bankruptcy sooner or later...the sooner we do, the sooner we get to work building a solid foundation.

Sometimes when I read other people's stories here I start feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't "that bad", hadn't gotten arrested, or this or that...then I think to myself "SERIOUSLY? you think it's a BAD thing that you didn't get a reality check before you did more damage to yourself and the people around you?"

Um, good point.

In the end, I think it's a good thing that I got the rug pulled out from under me while I was so called "high functioning", it saved me years and years of misery.

Sapling

High functioning for me....Meant I could be drunk or hungover at work....And everybody knew it but me.

HopingForZen

I read somewhere (maybe it was Beyond the Influence...not sure) that we really shouldn't expect people to have to bottom out before deciding to abstain or seek help. Why should we expect people to cause more harm to themselves or others before they are "ripe" for putting down the bottle. That really resonates with me.

I don't think there's such a thing as a "high functioning" alcoholic. There are alcoholics who are lucky enough to get the info they need to stop drinking earlier, and those who are unlucky enough to stop drinking later or cause more harm to themselves or others in the meantime. I think the goal should be to stop anyone from drinking while they are still "high functioning" if that's possible. And that would require letting go of this notion of bottoming out altogether.

Sapling

I know for myself that it was fear that kept me drinking....I was terrified with the thought of living without alcohol...It was all I knew. I was also terrified I wouldn't be able to do it...Fear of failure. I just finally got to the point that the pain that I had was more than the fear and I gave up. But for years I'd drink before or at work...Got fired from a lot of jobs....But that never stopped me. The pain wasn't bad enough yet.

Obladi

Thanks, Threshold.

I was thinking about this today, about how irritated I am by the term.
It's meant, I think, to set myself aside from "other" addicted people.
"They" are skidrow types, with no friends, no job, no homes, no money, no hope.
Whereas I, the "high functioning" one, am still maintaining what looks like a normal life.

Personally, I am repelled by the snobbery of the term.
Whereas my addictive self LOVES it.
After all, I haven't been caught out yet.
Therefore, I am better.

B.S.
I am caught in the mire just like every other addict.
There is no such thing as a high functioning alcoholic.
If I were "high functioning," I wouldn't be relying on my next high to get through the day.

hypochondriac

My AV loves it too Obladi, along with the concept of 'hitting bottom'... I wonder if these terms are really born out of our addictive voice telling us that we don't need to stop yet. I kept on pushing the bottom down, looking for people around me who were worse than me and telling myself I'd stop before I got that bad.

Personally I managed to get around not losing a relationship or getting a drunk driving charge because I didn't have relationships and didn't drive!

instant

I am alive and functioning..........that's a plus. I am one who now realises that when I was "high functioning" I was really scraping by. I was not valuing the gifts I have been given. I am thankful I woke up whilst I still had a chance.

Great post

NewBeginning010

I was high & functioning... well, barely functioning. Now I am really living, sober :-)

Taking5

As I am fond of saying, functional isn't a type of alcoholism, it is a stage of alcoholism.

Hollyanne

I had not gotten a DUI or fired or lost a relationship or my family.
But at 41, with an excellent career, had no money saved, no material wealth, poor relationships with family and friends, no life, no partner............
I may not have lost stuff, but I certainly am behind by about 20 years!
Ugh.
High functioning, my arse.

Mescal

High functioning HA! In AA last night this is what i said was my problem with my previous trips to AA. I couldn't even make it all the way through step 1. Yes i could admit that i was an alcoholic but i was getting hung up on the part about my life being unmanageable. But i have the job, house, bills are paid, and etc! Well i've come to terms with the fact that my life was/is unmanageable with booze. When my wife came to me ready to pack up and move out the light bulb went on. I'm only on day 2, but this is changing and changing now. Long story short i think that "high functioning" term is a just a crutch we use to drink longer.

Sapling

I never used that term.....I quit drinking at 51 years old and I didn't use the term alcoholic till I walked into AA. I rode denial as far as I could ride it. Denial for me was just lying to myself.

Threshold

These replies made me realized something. When I realized how messed up I was and that I NEEDED to get into recovery..
I had a job
A marriage
A house
Lived with my family
The "expected" accoutrements of our culture, TV,appliances, power tools, furniture
health insurance

To outsiders things probably looked A-OK

Today, sober/clean. I am living in a trailer with no plumbing, no belongings other than my clothes, a few kitchen items and some books.
no health insurance, no marriage or SO, no furniture (luckily the trailer has a built in table and couch) well you get the picture.

The funny thing is that I AM functioning now! Sobriety is an inside job. Having those things didn't keep me from drinking/using, and NOT having those things doesn't push me back into drinking or using.

I'd rather have lost everything and gained myself, than be living in a house but in the shattered hell of addiction.

I am MUCH higher functioning these days.

changer

i remember hearing someone say once 'this could be your bottom'. that resonated with me, and i decided i had reached my limit before that bottom got deeper. i also did not have any legal repercussions, job loss, etc, but i would estimate i was just a few months or so from any or all of them. i am so glad something kicked in in my brain before i got to that point.

Sapling

I totally agree with this.

Obladi

"Sobriety is an inside job."
Love it, Threshold.