Alco

Hi all,

Does anybody have any advice or tips on how they refrain from drinking when they live alone?
I have not stopped drinking yet. I've been drunk for the last 3 nights and there is a bottle of red wine and whiskey sitting in my kitchen. I'm fairly far down mentally and emotionally and don't know how to break free from this.
I live far from home and this problem is a secret from everybody. How i'm holding down my very technical job is a miracle but i feel that is going downhill too. Some comments from my boss recently shows me there are signs in work that im not performing as well as i should be..
I just know im going to drink again tonight now that last nights hangover is fading..
Anyone with any thoughts or ideas? Ive never sought help before..i only came across this site today while i sat here feeling crap and doing some research on hereditary alcohol abuse, (my dad was an alcoholic), it would break my mothers heart to see me going down this road. I've known a long time i'm an alcoholic but my will power is non existent. I think this living alone plays a major part as i would always have been extroverted but now i spend most of my time alone, going further and further downhill.

Anybody with similar experience that can give me some advice please. Thank you

Dejvice

Your will power does exist and you will amaze yourself when you wake up Monday morning sober........and you can look at the bottle of wine and whiskey as you walk out the door to work and say ´f$uck you you did not get me'. This síte really helped me (I am 3 wks sober) by reading the success stories about really tough situations people were in and how they had will power plus help to dig themselves out. Also remember if you live far from family and you continue drinking for sure your family will recognise when you go back for a visit. So stick around this site it has loads of support. You can do it and you are not alone.

Sugarfix

Have a bath, read the forum, eat something nice... and tip the booze down the sink.

You can do it. You can go to work sober and you can turn your life around.

Today is Day 1 of being sober.. why don't you make tomorrow Day 2?

Sapling

Welcome to SR Alco...Glad to have you here. Let's see...I come from a family of alcoholics....I've lost every job I've ever had due to my drinking....And I knew for a long time I was an alcoholic...And did nothing about it. What worked for me was walking into an AA meeting and asking for help...I couldn't do it alone. It worked. If I could give you any advice...It would be to talk with your doctor about quitting....Be honest about your drinking...Getting the alcohol out of your house...Dump it or give it to a neighbor...And finding a meeting close to you on the site below and going there and asking for help. It works for millions of people...Including myself.

Alcoholics Anonymous : International General Service Offices


You can call the number here too.

General Service Office
Unit 2, Block C
Santry Business Park
Swords Road, Dublin, Ireland 9 , Ireland
Phone:Main: (353)1-8420700
Site: Alcoholics Anonymous - Home

MrsKing

You are no longer alone now you've found us

Welcome to SR. You're in the right place - there is so much support, encouragement and a great understanding here.

The most important thing, I think, is to believe in yourself 100%. I may not live alone, but my sobriety is mine alone - we all go through this by ourselves, even if we have partners etc. Support is wonderful (which is why I love SR) but, ultimately, our decision and commitment to be sober has to come from within and we have to be determined to do it and stick to it.

You don't have to drink tonight. There's nothing stopping you making today the day. Tomorrow, next week, next month - they will all be a 'today' at some point and the decision will be just as daunting then. You can be sober today and you can be sober for the rest of your life. It takes a simple decision and an unwavering determination, but that's all.

Wishing you all the best. Please read around as much as you can and post as much as you wish - it really does help.

Dejvice

Also I read on this site somewhere work to the effect.......

'I know what my life is like drinking alcohol now I will try it without alcohol'............easier said than done but just making one key decision this evening not to drink for 1hr for 2hrs for 3hrs for 4hrs and try to get to Monday morning then get to the second day. As sugafux wrote go for a walk. But Stick around this site loads of support. Read about peoples experience on this site it will inspire you.

Alco

Thank you for the positive comments, i just need to find that switch to say no. To be brutally honest the loneliness i feel is quite high. I understand too that sitting in drinking alone every night exasperates that and i probably am also depressed. I dont want to involve my family for support as the reason i stated above and with the distance involved i don't see how they can help and i would only cause them worry.
I hear what you say about making the decision to just say today is day 1 but feeling like i do i almost unconsciously find the drink in my hand every night.

Sapling

I didn't have the will power to stop on my own...I gave up trying that. I don't know many people that do. One of the nice things about AA is the support from people just like you. Is that something you wouldn't be open too?

DeepBreath2012

Alco I can identify. I'm alone more than most. Alone and have absolutely zero family. It's hard and I have no great words of wisdom cause I struggle, but I do know the booze only makes it worse. I hope you stay on SR.

Alco

I have read a bit about AA but it seems to lean a lot on God but I don't believe in God so cant see how it would help...

Sapling

There are a lot of people in AA that don't believe in God and get sober...It wouldn't cost you anything to check it out. I kind of liked just being around people doing what I wanted to do. I didn't feel so alone.

Alco

Deepbreath sorry to hear that, how do u cope to avoid drinking? I think if i wasn't so alone i would have a better chance to stop. The attitude towards drink in ireland doesn't help either. Everybody i know drinks to the point of drunkeness on a night out. I don't think i've ever come home from a pub sober.

Alco

Another question i have is does alcohol abuse make you dumber? My job requires continuous study and understanding but i feel i'm becoming more and more incompetent and not able to perform. This is a new worry on me as it is being noticed now. I always managed to get by but my abuse of alcohol has been steadily increasing over the last 4 years and i think i'm getting thicker. Admittedly, i've always been an alcoholic but its getting worse as time goes on.

Caledonia1

I believe alcohol abuse lowers our self esteme and confidence.

You are strong and have made a great first step, admitting your problem.

Tip the booze down the sink and as previously suggested get something nice to eat, hot bath and read until your hearts content.

AA worked for me and recently extra strenght from SR.

Stay strong, you can do it!!!!!!!

IWillWin

Alco - YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You found this site ... and guess, what? With that discovery comes a ton of people that can be a part of your life if you let us.

The choice is yours - friends from all around the world or you living alone with a bottle that doesn't give a crap about you or your loneliness.

Sober up, ditch the rest of your booze and make your decisions about the rest of your life with a clear head. You cannot make an informed decision buzzed or drunk.

We are here to support you in your journey...hope you stick around. You are worth fighting for and don't ever forget that!!

artsoul

Alcohol will definitely affect your thinking and memory. If you stop early enough, though, your brain can recover from a lot of the damage. I definitely saw a change after I got sober.

I also found that my anxiety and depression lifted once I stopped drinking. I became a calmer, more positive person.

You took a major step today by reaching out and admitting you have a problem. That's awesome! None of us can get/stay sober on our own. Until I came here, I couldn't make it through a day without caving.

The support here is great - Stick around and keep reading.

Relieved

Dump the bottles, it will help relieve the temptation.

Being aware is the beginning of change. Listen to the advice here.

Sapling

Welcome to SR Relieved....Glad to have you here.

Amazon

I live alone too, and key for me has been keeping busy. I read a lot, both for pleasure and productivity - just pulled out some textbooks to review in prep for possibly going back to school.

Get out of the house and get some exercise. Go for a walk. Seeing new things will get your mind off it. If you live in a big city, like I do, just getting out into the streets and seeing people will help you feel less alone.

Consider a new activity that will put you in touch with people, like volunteering. I don't do AA, but their book on helping others points out that there is a large benefit to the one doing the helping.

I see a lot of advice suggesting just focusing on not drinking, but that only made me think how much I wanted a drink. I had to get myself distracted.

Amazon

Keep in mind too that the first few days you will have physical withdrawals. I highly suggest seeing a dr to get something to help you through that. I needed Ativan for a few days. Now I'm on Day 16 with few cravings by taking my own advice, above. Hopefully you at least work out of the home.

And yes, alcohol can make you dumber... in the short term we always have a little bit of alcohol left in our systems... That also improved for me in a few days. Good luck