Alcohol is ruining me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
Alcohol is ruining me
I've been abusing alcohol for several years to cope with my life and through long periods of loneliness. I have suffered from major depression for years and alcohol has been my way of coping. I've had a major breakdown and can't go to work or college. A few days a go I was thrown in a cell for being in an alcoholic rage at 3 in the morning. I'm going to try and commit to being sober but I don't know how. I'm too broken down to really think coherently and too sick to think about drinking. All I can seem to do is lie down and stare into space. Maybe in the next few hours I can thin kabout not drinking but not now. Someone from the health time is seeing me in half an hour and I don't know what to say.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR hillOH...This is a great site for online support.
I've been where you are....Totally hopeless. It took me walking into an AA meeting...Admitting I'm an alcoholic and for the first time in my life....Listening to others. My way didn't work. Their way did.
I've been where you are....Totally hopeless. It took me walking into an AA meeting...Admitting I'm an alcoholic and for the first time in my life....Listening to others. My way didn't work. Their way did.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 70
Hi HillOH
I'm new here too. This is my day one and I'm absolutely terrified but there is a lot of support on here. Stay logged in today and take advice from others. Alcohol will not destroy us. Stay strong
I'm new here too. This is my day one and I'm absolutely terrified but there is a lot of support on here. Stay logged in today and take advice from others. Alcohol will not destroy us. Stay strong
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
I've been there, and I bet there are lots of folks on here who've been through major depression too and can talk with you about that. I'm a newbie, but one of the really helpful things I've learned here is just focus on the present, on today. You don't have to commit to anything more than one day at a time.
Welcome!
Welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
the mental time siad that they would not be hear for a few hours now because they eare busy. now. i have some whisky which i cannot sicdrink becaue i am too sick. i want ot go to the shop and buy some milk so i can have some tea. i have just picked up the phone because someone has called. maybe i can have some soup or a burger but i have to go to the shop.i like listsening to the radio.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
Hi and welcome to SR.
I've been where you are, I suffered from depression for years combined with anxiety, and drank to help me cope. What I didn't realise was that alcohol is a depressant and was virtually counteracting any benefits I might have been getting from the meds. I ended up isolated, and planning suicide. I just couldn't see a way out of this cycle of drinking, shame and regret.
I found this site. I read lots of posts from people who had managed to find a way out of that blackness and despair. I kept posting, every day at first. I stopped drinking, and when I felt like I wanted one, I told someone on here and they talk me through it.
I started going to AA meetings, I listened to what they were doing to stay sober. I found the support from AA and SR to be my lifeline. Nobody judges, everybody wants to help.
I'm almost 4 months sober now, a relatively short time I know, but the main difference has been to my mental health. The depression and anxiety has lifted for the first time in my adult life. I've managed to come off antidepressants now under medical supervision. My relationships with those around me has improved.
My main problem wasn't depression but alcoholism.
You can do this if you really want it more than anything like I do.
I'm wishing you the very best. Keep close to us xxx
I've been where you are, I suffered from depression for years combined with anxiety, and drank to help me cope. What I didn't realise was that alcohol is a depressant and was virtually counteracting any benefits I might have been getting from the meds. I ended up isolated, and planning suicide. I just couldn't see a way out of this cycle of drinking, shame and regret.
I found this site. I read lots of posts from people who had managed to find a way out of that blackness and despair. I kept posting, every day at first. I stopped drinking, and when I felt like I wanted one, I told someone on here and they talk me through it.
I started going to AA meetings, I listened to what they were doing to stay sober. I found the support from AA and SR to be my lifeline. Nobody judges, everybody wants to help.
I'm almost 4 months sober now, a relatively short time I know, but the main difference has been to my mental health. The depression and anxiety has lifted for the first time in my adult life. I've managed to come off antidepressants now under medical supervision. My relationships with those around me has improved.
My main problem wasn't depression but alcoholism.
You can do this if you really want it more than anything like I do.
I'm wishing you the very best. Keep close to us xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by hillOH 
the mental time siad that they would not be hear for a few hours now because they eare busy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
shops
Is there anyway you can talk to your doctor and let them know you want to stop drinkingI said that i Wanted to stop drinking, they refered me to the mental health team because i Had been in the cells and my home was smashed up. I don't wanted to go outsied because it's raining but i need to go now for the shops.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I think, when you get a chance to talk to them, tell them the total honest truth, lay out the facts and let them help you hook up with the resources that can help you turn this around.
Myself and many others here can relate to what you are going through as we have been in very similar situations. Some of us lied our way out of it, to our own detriment, only prolonging the self destruction, until finally we came round back to the same place again.
I know it's hard to quiet the mind and not let it go twirling off into worry, because in the moment we can't see how things can ever work out. I think your plan to get yourself some tea and ride out the ill feelings until you can talk to the health time folks.
We don't have to know ahead of time the steps and means by which things will happen, just know that things can improve and there is help, and support and many have come from where you are to a better place in their lives.
I am so glad you found us so that you won't be alone in this scary time.
stay close
Myself and many others here can relate to what you are going through as we have been in very similar situations. Some of us lied our way out of it, to our own detriment, only prolonging the self destruction, until finally we came round back to the same place again.
I know it's hard to quiet the mind and not let it go twirling off into worry, because in the moment we can't see how things can ever work out. I think your plan to get yourself some tea and ride out the ill feelings until you can talk to the health time folks.
We don't have to know ahead of time the steps and means by which things will happen, just know that things can improve and there is help, and support and many have come from where you are to a better place in their lives.
I am so glad you found us so that you won't be alone in this scary time.
stay close
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
Originally Posted by Sapling
Where do you live?...Are you in Ohio?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 36
yesterday i tried to buy a notepook and write down how i was feeling so i could keep track of my mind. i found that i could write down words but they did not make any sense. they just seemed to be random letters and words. even though i KNOW the words I can't get work things out and I couldn't link the words properly.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
That's good....Do you have someone coming to help you today?....We have quite a few members here from the UK....Maybe they can help with numbers for you. At least you know you aren't alone now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by hillOH
yesterday i tried to buy a notepook and write down how i was feeling so i could keep track of my mind. i found that i could write down words but they did not make any sense. they just seemed to be random letters and words. even though i KNOW the words I can't get work things out and I couldn't link the words properly.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
