Julynine

I have 11 weeks sober time today and I am very greatful. My recovery is progressing well and I see improvement in all aspects of my life. I had 3 days this week where I can honestly say that I felt about 'as good as it gets'. My mood was fantastic, my work productive, my outlook positive. I had no 'brain fog', lethargy, anger or 'over emotion' and I hadn't felt this good in a long long time.

On Friday however, I seemed to have a setback. The symptoms I experienced in the first few weeks, the lethargy, anger, hunger, and general malaise suddenly came back for no reason. They weren't as strong as they have been and they are beginning to go again but it is frustrating.

We talk about this being the roller coaster of recovery but I see it slightly differently. I see recovery more like a passenger flight (and although I fly approximately 50 times per year I still don't like it :-). The first few weeks of sobriety are like take off and ascending, the ride is bumpy as we go through the clouds and level off but it's expected and accepted until we reach the cruising altitude. The next stage of recovery is like flying at the cruising altitude, everything is perfectly smooth until you hit a patch of turbulence which shakes you a bit as you weren't expecting it (this will resonate more with people like me who don't enjoy flying).

I personally think this is why many people struggle with recovery. The process, just as it was with becoming an alcoholic, is long and gradual and takes time to find the new normal. The sudden turbulence that scares me a little when flying is just like a bump in the road which I use as a metaphor to understand my 'journey' in sobriety. I have ups and downs but the more sober time I have under my the more the balance shifts to the 'ups'.

The glimpse I got this week of how life is like once sober was truly amazing. I'm almost emotional when I reflect on it and how great i felt and I know whatever quantity or type of drug I put into my body i'll never be able to surpass it. With the length of time I drank, I totally forgot how great it is just to feel good, naturally.

I know there will be a few more 'bumps in the road' ahead but that's OK. Life is good!



Julynine.

IndaMiricale

Awesome and Congrats keep growing and enjoy

Yea the potholes or bumps in the road , life still happens even in sobriety.. Its all about learning to go with it..

For me that is why I go to so many meetings.. For my car is always hitting those holes so AA is my mechanic and always gives me a alignment..

mecanix

My body seems to have a mini hangover every couple of months or so, i suppose people who are habbitually sober might call it "feeling a little bit under the weather".

Bestwishes, M

pipparina

Great post, and great analogy. There will be ups and downs, like any other person in the world. I think we've become so used to numbing everything that it takes some getting used to to actually feel emotions

jennikate

Awesome post! Today is my 120 day anniversary and I have had all of those experiences and more. Just went to my dr. for a pretty minor problem and she was explaining how much alcoholism takes from your body. Which makes sense that I'm going to occasionally feel tired, headachy, etc. And it's ok and normal given what I've put my body through. I just keep plugging along. I also find meetings help smooth out the bumpy road.

Sapling

Congrats on 11 weeks Julynine....Do whatever you have to do to keep that!