clight

How many friends can you honestly say are left since being sober? For me out of so many meaning lets give a guesstimate....... 20 friends I spoke and hung out with when drinking of course. In the matter of a week of being sober I can honestly say I have 1 friend that of course drinks a drink once a week goes to church and is a true friend. Calls me daily and for the rest no calls, nothing since I told them that I stopped with the drinking have not heard from them. No family please just "so called friends."

Our family's will always be our best friends! =)

mecanix

I think my drinking stole all my real friends years ago, my drinking was more important than their "boring sober lives" , all i was left with was a self pitty brigade of bar-flys who were suffering from various stages of bingeing alcoholic behaviour.

It took 15 years to loose it all to drink so i'm giving it 15 years before i worry too much over how much i gain with sobriety .

Bestwishes, M

Southerner

I like your positive attitude. We can't change the past, only the future. To mecanix, with time and real change you may find that some of them return. Or, you will simply be better equipped to have more meaningful friendships. I have been fortunate not to have lost friends, but I am having to work with my wife, who is my best friend after all, to ensure that old binge patterns never arise again.

Don't fret it. You have some good friends around here who get it.

Thanks for the interesting question clight. Makes one wonder what a real friend really is?

Sugarfix

None of them!

Lost a drinking buddy! But then she is a worse alcoholic than me

So I was distancing myself from her anyways :rotfxko

(This was when she told me she had no food in the cupboards whatsoever, and the Cat hadn't been fed for days.. but she kept buying Wine!)

Misguided

I question if they were ever really friends at all. I think if I would have been in a major jam needing help, none of them would have been there.

I have a few that still occasionally speak to that ask how I'm doing and tell me they miss me.

Like you said, family is what matters most and those are the only ones who stick around through the hard times. I sometimes question if there is a real definition of "friend" after the struggles I went through...most people in my life slipped away when I did things to make myself happier and healthier.

Taking5

I'm with ald, they weren't really my friends. I have about 3 out of 50 or 60 regulars at the bar I frequented that I still consider friends. I also consider that a pretty good batting average based on everyone else I talk to about this.

Jeni26

Real friends? None. Drinking buddies? About 10!

But I've made a heap of new ones at AA and SR. And with them I can finally be myself. I feel cared for and supported in a way that is totally new to me. And I wouldn't be at almost 4 months sober without them xxx

Charon

Never had friends or drinking buddies. I drank alone in isolation. Since quitting I've found a bunch of people who are becoming friends. That could never have happened had I continued drinking.

bbthumper

Old friends-2
New- hundreds

Happier

My best friend is my wife. She's still here.
Didn't have too many others that weren't family somehow. However, those friend/family that were also drinking buddies are not so close now.
I am very much looking forward to finding new, real friends that do not revolve around drinking! Doing that with new neighbors as we recently relocated. Also meeting nice folks at church. Also contacting good old friends from college and before that I had neglected during my drinking years.
It is so refreshing to be around sober, truly caring people. Hope these new and rekindled relationships can last a lifetime!

EternalQ

A few felt they had to choose alcohol over spending time with me. Although I would have been friends still, as long as we did things together.outside of hangin at bars, unfortunately they can't do that.

But I know the chains and shame of addiction well. Whether they say it or not, they feel their addiction has trapped them. They are happy for me, however, albeit shocked. I told them how I did it, about different books and methods and SR. That is all I can do. If they ever come to me and say they are quitting, I will be their biggest supporter.

In the meantime, we live seperate lives. I cannot jeopardize my sobriety by hangin with them around lots of drinking. And though they may not articulate this, hangin around me and not drinking jeopardizes their alcoholism.

My other friends & family who are social drinkers are totally with me. With them, there are lots of things to do together besides drink. And we do them!

Kza

That question is back to front.

SoberForMySon

I have none now, and I didn't then, at least not in this state. Still have online friends.

doggonecarl

My wife. The only friend that matters.

IndaMiricale

Ditto..

driftapart

3. These are friends I've had since grade-school, though.

They've seen me in every state of drunk (and vice versa - but they all outgrew their alcoholism #jealous)

I can still hang with them no problem because they all dabble in pills or weed now, and those aren't my cup of tea.

So they don't care that I don't drink anymore.

Any friend I've made in the past 3 years, on the other hand, I haven't heard much from. And if they asked to hang out, I'd probably decline because they'll trigger the F*** out of me. They are just drinking buddies. Every occasion I remember with them involve being drunk, so.

^Not to say I don't care about them, I just care about my sobriety more.

Quinne

I'm incredibly fortunate that the only process for me thus far has been "shedding" unhealthy people (read: those who are a bit parasitic and constantly in some form of crisis, just the way I was through my active alcoholism). I don't miss many of them at all. Infact, I hardly even think about them. Whether or not they have had issues with alcohol is irrelevant to me-I kicked around with people just as sick as myself in some way, shape or form and I can no longer associate with people who will jeopardise my recovery. Having said that, I know I need to make amends to some of these people when I "get" to step 9.

When I see my highschool friends these days, they're thrilled that I look so well and it's great keeping their company.

My two closest friends are just amazing. One is also in AA, the other isn't. They have stuck by me through thick and thin and seen me in some pretty awful states. All of these people have hope in their own lives and I think they can start to see it in me

I've recently "adopted" a classmate as a big sister of sorts....she was in touch with me earlier in the year when I relapsed a couple of times and has kept encouraging me to stay active in AA. I actually apologised to her the other day for pratting her around and lying to her, but she was so forgiving. It's kinda fun in a way comparing our sober madness

I'm very lucky

SSIL75

I was a lone drinker for the most part. So sobriety has actually brought me friends. Or at least slid people from acquaintances to 'light' friends (like people I'd avoid if I saw them before b/c I was hungover.. I now embrace our chit chat when I meet them at the gym).

StrictScrutiny

Drinking cost me three of my absolute best friends. The ones I have left have been ridiculously supportive.

I was/am your garden variety "drink alone at home" alcoholic. I didn't have bar friends. The closest thing I had was people I knew I could count on to tell me it was okay I was drinking at entire bottle of wine at home alone at 2 in the afternoon. I have yet to tell them I am done drinking, but I hope things turn out for the best.

duane1

I pretty much kept all my friends. I was honestly the biggest drinker that I knew. My neighbor who is a close friend quit when I did. At least he cut down and his drinking wasn't a problem like mine was.
I hid my drinking from most people and often drank alone. Yup, just like the George Thorogood song.