heartandsoul

so here's my story: I was in a relationship with a recovered meth addict for 4 years, he'd only been clean for 6-12 months when I met him, but everything went wonderful for us in fact we got married and had a son. This was my first time ever being around someone with an addiction, and it did scare me, but we had good communication and he was able to tell me when he had cravings and we were able to work through it and he never had a relapse. A year and a half ago he was killed in a car wreck and my son and I were both injured. I'm sorry if this is too much information but I wanted to give a little backstory to the situation I'm in now. While I was still in the hospital a guy that I was friend with and dated before came to visit me. It ment allot to me then, though he has since told me he was high at the time. Anyhow we didnt see each other or have any communication till about 8 months ago. I ran into him by accident and we started talking alot, and now that has developed into a real relationship. He has a meth addiction but hes trying to recover. We have been very open about it. Hes used 4 times since we started talking, and each time hes told me about it and promised to try harder. I have already found so much good info on this site that has helped me to better understand his addiction, but I still have so many questions. How does meth addiction work? What are the best ways to help him in his recovery, and should I even be trying? what are the signs of continuing meth use? I would truly appreciate all the support and advice people can give especially if they've been in a situation similar to mine. Thank you.

SoberForMySon

I don't know a thing about Meth. But... Montana is heaven on earth, wow!!! I miss it. And I am so sorry for your loss. Others will have advice. This is a special place.

doggonecarl

I'm sorry for your loss. I think you lucked out with your first recovered meth addict. I'm not sure it is wise to roll the dice with another one, one who sounds active. But as you've said, you and he have developed a real "relationship" and I am going to guess this means you are going to stick by him and help him recover.

Good luck with that.

Please see our forum for friends and family of loved ones with substance abuse problems.

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

You will find many who are or have been in your shoes. Me, I am just a former meth addict.

Veggiejojo

I am really sorry for your loss.

I have no experience with meth but I do think going into any relationship hoping to change someone is dodgy. I am sorry if it sounds brutal but your priority has to be to yourself and your son, and it may be wise to distance yourself, ask him to sort himself out and you can give it a go when he's clean. If you do carry on with the relationship, take care, join the friends and family bit of this forum where I'm sure you'll get some great advice. Any sign of him being volatile to you or your son, get out and don't look back,

Good luck, take care and once again sorry for your loss,

x

heartandsoul

Thanks for replying. I need the advice from both sides. People who have been in my position and people who have been in his.

PippoRossi

I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts on your current situation? Put your energy into your son. Good luck to you.

Anna

I'm very sorry for your loss.

My advice is to focus on your son and yourself.

Dee74

Hi heartandasoul
Welcome

I'm very sorry for your loss, but I also think the best focus for you right now is you and your son....you've both suffered a tremendous loss.

Let your friend sort himself out...thats his responsibility not yours.

Whatever the future holds for you in terms of partners, time will tell - maybe if this guy can get clean and stay that way, he might be a suitable candidate down the track

I'd treat yourself and your son as a priority for now.

D

silly

There's a Friends and Family Forum here that might be very useful. From this side of things though... I'd think long and hard and keep my distance until he's clean continuously for a good long stretch. Meth is scary. And you have a child to think about and a presumably stable life. Keep those things and charish them. This guy will still be there if and when he truly gets sober.

silly

I bet we're all saying the same thing?

heartandsoul

Thanks again every one, and in response to "silly" yes mostly every one is saying the same thing, though there is only one person who said they were coming from the former addict side. I'm assuming most of the post are from my side of the fence. I'm am truly glad I found this place because it connects me others who have gone through the same thing. I do have to wonder though, aren't there any of you out there who have been there and made it work? Like I said before, my husband was a recovered addict, very recently sober, but I didn't know that too we had been together for some time. He never did the twelve step program or rehab or any of that, and yet he the recovered. He told me that he had deigned to do it on his own, but that my love and support gave him that extra boost when the cravings got bad. I have seen other posts that say that their hope was destructive and kept them in a relationship long after they knew it was bad, but does it all ways have to be that way? Its it delusional to think that it could work out between us like it did between me and my husband? I didn't mean to make this post so long I just have allot of mixed emotions going on right now and I need to get them out.

Dee74

well, I'm an alcoholic & addict - and although I never used meth regularly myself, I saw what it did to people I loved dearly.

I wouldn't want to see my sister involved, or try and raise a child, in the middle of addictive madness - whether it's meth or whatever.

I'm sure you're not getting politically correct responses here - if the consensus is to think carefully, I think that's good advice

D

Ilovemysonjj

Heart and Soul, meth is extremely dangerous and those who inject it are deep deep deep. I did meth a LONG time ago in the 80's and got out before I moved from snorting it. It kills brain cells and is a pleasure seeking drug. Those on meth will hallucinate and will go into psychosis regularly due to the lack of sleep. Please be careful. I had to move entirely away from everything that surrounded me to get off that crap. I think it is much more powerful now than it was in 1984.