Bad year...got an 'awakening'
 

Ive lost some family menbers this year and that has been tough.

On top of that, I am now partially disabled and dont know if I can return to work, if at all. I'm eligable for retirement but its a cat call on when to actually pull the plug.

Tried quittin drinking many many times in the past with some success.

Started off again slowly in the spring with a glass of wine with a relative while my Mother was dying.

Actually not drinking was great, a nice turnaround and I should get back to it.

Today, I was in my lawyers office, , me an old man handling my late Mom's estate.

My lawer...he is a nice guy, older than me actually, and he started to mention some books he's been reading.

'One next Year' is a book that he told me was outstanding and he recomends it.

Then he started mentioning the things that will curtail your life.

He stared with smoking, then ....drinking.

Weird ... when he mentioned drinking his eyes were intense.
How did he know?

Not hard to figure out really. Bloodshot eyes and I probably stink. Im hobbling around with a cane with enough money to drink myself to death within weeks.

Don't know what to do.

How do you cure despair? How do you get hope?
A vision for the future?
Is it there?

Hooped:

There is always hope!!

Don't let the disease win. Don't listen to it.

There are 2 people here in rehab with me who are in their late 60's. And they are doing it. They are inspirational.

I'm not saying you have to go to rehab, I'm saying never give up and never give in.

You already know drinking is a road to nowhere.

You are worth it.

Please, don't give up.

I dont have spell check obviously lol

Hi Hooped

I'm sorry to hear of your losses, your pain and your struggles and misfortunes.

What I did? I figured I had a choice - I could listen to that internal voice I had telling me I wasn't worth a damn, life is crap anyway...and why not go out all guns blazing...

Or I could listen to the folks I knew and trusted here who told me that life does get better when you commit to sobriety.

I chose the latter - I really annoyed the other voice lol - but I'm glad I did.

I made the right choice - it was a long process, but there was a good man in me wanting to reemerge.

I know the same is true for you Hooped.
Make a good choice.

D

I am so sorry, my friend. I know you've had more than your share of losses, Hooped.

I was so depressed for so long before I quit. I kept waiting for life to get better, for situations and stresses to resolve themselves. Then I'd be ready to quit. I just had to find the spirit. But there's no such thing, Hooped. At least there wasn't for me. No wave of inspiration, no ideal moment. In fact I just kept sinking lower.

There's no better time to quit than now. You're addicted to a powerful depressant, bathing your brain in it every single day. How do you cure despair? Step one is to stop drinking it. Hope comes from quitting, not the other way around.

I am so glad you posted, Hooped. I really appreciate that you've stayed in touch throughout this dark period. I think of you often. Grateful you're here.

:grouphug:

Yeah thanks R&A and Dee and SD I appreciate your replies.
It's like, how long can you go on like this.?
I've been on this site whineing for years.
I know you can never say never. I am much happier not drinking
But I am about to grab a cab to grab anothe case of beer .I know I shouldnt be doing this...but it really is much better than the severe withdrawls which I can mitigate with my somewhat controlled 'medicine'....
And Im going to get that book.
'One next Year'
Seel you tomorrow maybe...sober.
Looking forward to it.

Of course I got the name of the book wrong...
Younger Next Year: Amazon.ca: Chris Crowley, Henry S. Lodge: Books

Aw, Hooped, why not just call it a night, take it easy on your body?

And I've never heard you whine. Posting about struggles is whole point of this place.

As for the withdrawals... sounds to me like medically supervised detox is gonna be the way to go. More comfortable, and more importantly, a whole lot safer.

Glad you're getting the book. And thanks again for posting. Sounds to me like you found yourself a really good lawyer. :)

Hi Hooped, I just wanted to say hello & wish you well. I know things have been tough but drinking never really helped me in any way other than to forget things temporarily. They were always worse the next day with a hangover & regrets.

You can do this, we are with you :ring

Oh I got a great lawyer ...those guys are apparently prime candidates for alcoholism , may thats how he knew maybe?

Last time I went for a medical surpervised detox I took a cab too.

Actually, the cab driver gave me the best advise of all... when I told him what I was doing.

This cab driver told me...that I didn't need a doctor...or medication ..or booze...or a hospital....what I needed was God.
He gave me his card.

I still have his number btw.
:-)

If you're worried about withdrawals, and I'm guessing you drink like I did, so you should be...see a Dr, Hooped.

We both know - the trying to function self-medication bit is really ridiculous.

Call in some reinforcements....

and I agree with R&A - why not knock it on the head for tonight?...you've come part of the way by posting here...do yourself a favour mate....be ready tomorrow for what needs doing.

D

Thanks for the advice and support folks.

Today is a new day for me and I'm SOBER.

I went to an AA meeting today and plan to attend one every day for a while.

Best thing of all is my wife has agreed to quit drinking also!

I am so very happy about that!

It's much easier to stay sober when there is no booze in the house or being with someone who is still drinking.

Even if she is only drinking moderately.. it is still like playing with fire for me, just having it around.

Thanks again folks and we can all do this...one day at a time!
:tyou

Hooped this is great news I hope today is a new beginning for you. In my experience it is a bit of a challenge at first, but it just gets better from there on in. By six months I did not look back.

In retrospect I can see that I can flourish only when I stopped trying to poison myself to death (I was doing a good job of that).

Best wishes to you :)

You can be free. Keep going to those meeting, bring the body and the mind will follow.. :)

Hooped, stick with it. I am in the fellowship and I see a huge rangeof ages come into the rooms and get sober and happy. In my drinking, i could just about stop of my own accord, buti could not stay stopped. AA helped withthe staying power. Don't be despondent. No one here found any of this easy. But you won't find anyone who says that the hard work they've put into their recovery isn't worth it.

Take careand keep posting!

Dear Hooped,

you sound a very wise man with a very wise supporting lady :>

It's nothing to do with age life, as you know from being on SR even the young ones sometimes feel like there is nothing to live for and life is a pain...

Once you get back on your feet why not take your lovely wife on a once in a lifetime holiday somewhere, a cruise down the Nile? now that I would like very much too :>

Good luck with it all and I can't wait to read your progress.

That's what gave me hope....Sounds like you found some yourself. Take your wife to the meetings with you. I have married couples in my homegroup....Good friends of mine. Sometimes they go together....Sometimes they go to meetings alone.....They all have years of sobriety. It works.