ZeppelinFan

Hi Everyone,

I haven't been on here in a while and I felt like posting for some feedback. Update on me... last time I posted I was going through horrible withdrawal. Since then I have gone through withdrawal a couple more times and my situation has gotten worst. I ended up in the hospital with pancreatitis due to my last major binge. I was in the hospital for a week on an IV and pain medicine since I was too sick to eat or drink anything by mouth. Normal pancreas enzymes are in the hundreds and mine were in the thousands. My body was attacking itself and I permanently damaged my pancreas. Even though this totally sucks for a 26 year old I feel like it was a gift from God telling my to wise up big time!! I am doing well now and I will be fine as long as I don't drink! When I got out of the hospital I checked myself into an outpatient rehab which I have been attending for the past 2 months. I am so lucky because my job has been really understanding and I am able to be on short term disability. The rehab saved my life! I am 46 days sober right now with no drugs or alcohol. Also, despite my initial skepticism I am an AA member and got myself a sponsor. I just started reading the big book and am taking things seriously this time. Drugs and alcohol were ruining my life! I am working on mending my health and relationships. I am looking forward to a new sober life and have been trying to find enjoyment in sober activities. I feel like I have come a long way but still have far to go. I am still really angry that this is my fate and I have to deal with this horrible disease espceially at my young age. I feel very bitter towards the world and people that aren't like me. I am trying to live in the now and accept the cards that I have been dealt but it is hard at times. I am fortunate that my finance who is also a recovering addict has agreed to do this with me. At the same time as my hospitalization he got a DWI and that was his wake up call. Any tips on how to feel less angry or activities/motivation to be happy with a sober life? Thank you for all your support. 46 days- go me!

least

Welcome back and congrats on your sober time!

NewBeginning010

Sorry to hear of your troubles but happy that things are coming together for you. What kind of things did you like to do before you started drinking often.

I found just getting out & trying new things helped me to learn about what I wanted to do & reignite old passions and start some new ones. A couple of years ago I could barely climb the steps in my building now I climb mountains. I have started to play competitive tennis (loving it) and picked up my guitar again (Zeppelin Rules).

You can do this, get active & try some new things and go back to some of your old passions... they are there waiting for your return.

Keep active here on SR, it really helps.

You can do this

ZeppelinFan

Thanks for the posts!

NewBeginning,

I have been drinking heavily for so long it is hard for me to really know what I like to do or separate memories from my drinking. I do like to do craft projects/decorating and I have been doing that- I have been redecorating my house. I have also been trying new things- I went to a gun range, camping in a new place, cooking new things, etc. It's just every time I am bored or have a minute to think I always wish I was drinking as my only way to make every day situations fun. It's like my feelings of enjoyment and pleasure have been dulled and I feel very blah a lot of the times. I can't let go of the anger. I guess this is a normal feeling in early sobriety (at least that's what my sponsor tells me). I can't wait until I can feel grateful that this happened to me & my sobriety opens up rewards and opportunities for me. I am very hopeful though!

IndaMiricale

Welcome back

I was in the hospital several years back for the same pancreatits, and 2 years later in the ICU for withdrawl and korsakoff syndrom.. It just progressivly gets worse and worse.

But the amazing part is the body really can heal. I am doing great now. I was told all the doom and gloom that my body had so much perement damage. (yada yada)..

15 months after 20+ years of serious drinking and drugging, my body has done a U-turn..

Hang in there , let time go,, and your so young you got a long healthly life ahead..

NewBeginning010

Nice, you really have been active & out & about. Dont worry you will learn to appreciate your music & everything else you do just as much if not more than when you did them while drinking.

The best analogy I can give is: Quitting alcohol is like removing your training wheels from your bicycle.. its hard at first & you feel that it was better before you took them off but once you learn to ride without them (training wheels/alcohol) you realize there is so many places & things you can do that you never could even dream about before.

It will come, keep working at it. I recently added AVRT to my toolbox & found it helpful. Check out some of the posts about it in the secular section.

Take care & keep posting. All of the best in your recovery. Cheers NB

tzivia

I'm earlier in my sobriety than you, I've got 27 sober days, but I am really committed to this. I know this is it for me. I'm not going back to drinking now, and I've finally accepted that. It's time to learn to live sober.

I'm still struggling with finding things to do with my free time when I have it. I really get bored a lot, but don't feel like I have the energy to do much. I find reading helps. I have a ton of books I still haven't gotten to read yet. I also hang out online a lot, and like to destress by playing video games. I have a bunch of good movies I haven't watched in awhile. I'll probably dig those out soon and find some time to chill and watch a movie.

I also find exercise really helps. I have a hard time starting it sometimes when I feel really low on energy (and motivation), but once I start I feel better right away and have tons more energy. I'm planning to start exercising again this weekend, and get myself into a routine with it. Maybe you could try that too. Try to find something you enjoy doing, that makes it so much easier to keep at it.

Good luck, and a big congrats on your sober time! 46 days is awesome!!!

Mizzuno

You are doing great. The anger will subside after awhile. You are not alone in this. Everyone has a struggle. Ours has been with alcohol... What interests you? I like to run, hang out online, read, go to thrift stores...movies, music, cook, spend time with my husband. House Hunt ATM. It is a adjustment without alcohol in the picture for sure. It is well worth it.

Sapling

First off...Congrats and great job on 46 days. I have one tip for you. There is a solution....That is the steps. Tell your sponsor you want to work them and get going. These are the 9th step promises....They will always materialize if we work for them.


If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

bb pg 83 - 84

ZeppelinFan

Thanks everyone! I know all these feelings will pass in time I am just waiting for it... I talked to my sponsor about working the steps and I am definitely going to start doing that soon. I just started reading the big book and being in rehab and doing group therapies helps a lot! I do have a lot of activities that I partake in I guess I just don't feel as much pleasure in doing these things as I did drinking. In my rehab they explained how the pleasure receptors work differently in an alcoholic brain and it is harder to feel extreme pleasure in things or you want to overdo things that cause pleasure (drinking). I don't think anything will take me to the false pleasure that alcohol provided me. I just have to keep reminding myself that it wasn't good at all in the end of my drinking career.

Thanks for all the support!!

Liz45

I'm too new at quitting to be much help, but I wanted to say I can relate to not enjoying things the way I used to, and I hope you get your joy back soon!

Sapling

Pure misery for me....I wish the best on the journey you are taking....It' been amazing for me.

2granddaughters

Congrats Zep !

Follow the Steps and follow your sponsor.

All the best.

Bob R

instant

Zepllin fan . I have found the daily practice of gratitude to be of an enormous help in combating me inherent negativity and sense of frustration/unease.

Glad you are on the mend and are here.