Spinach

Bumble, Yes but feeling the pain wouldn't happen drunk. I guess it's part of getting back to sober life and feeling emotions again. People do feel very strongly for people who have stopped drinking, and families will use it to feel pride for you .
Keep sober and let them show you.
John.

Hockadaisy

I think I have always felt ashamed. My dad stated abusing me at such a youg age and I was my mom's Barbie Doll. I wake up every morning now feeling ashamed about driking and so many other things. It runs my life.

Sugarfix

You have to ask yourself, were they really good friends in the first place?

I have the same friends since I was very young, the same friends who have witnessed me in some bad places, saw me drunk, heard me drunk... seen me at rock bottom, been with me through high's and low's, through my divorce, through my questionable relationship choices and everything else... AND are still there for me today. Respecting my choice to quit drinking and accepting it, finally. We are all just accepting of each others faults, and are a forgiving bunch I suppose.. but that's what life is about. Being there for each other and not kicking a person when down, but bringing them up when they need it

As a friend, I would do the same for someone.

I wouldn't worry about losing people who can't see that you need help.

I have been invited a few places this weekend - and declined all! No I don't want to go to Liverpool until 3am (who wants to go to dirty nightclubs full of drunk people when sober?), no I don't want to sit in the local pubs in my friends new village....

.. but my REAL friends are happy to accept I don't want to drink and aren't pressurising me - been invited to my friends for the weekend, a few hours drive.. and she has suggested that we do 'sober' things...

Be happy to ditch the deadwood in your life

YVRguy

I am hopeful I can deal with the shame , guilt and amends in steps 8 and 9 in AA but I am no where near that yet.

I skipped over steps or did them some poorly that I really still had guilt and shame issues and well needless to say what happened. What I did do is put some of that to rest and given time , and work within a program be it AA or another one , you will recovery some dignity and self esteem/respect.

I notice I always hold myself up to this impossible set of criteria for self judgement. The reality is I am just a person with a set of problems. Now I would find shame and guilt by not working on the problems and taking action.