SoberForMySon

I tried to get mental help. In fact I ended up sobbing and throwing up in a panic. Insurance bull. Can't get help, can't get an appointment. Want to give up. Tired nd scared. Paranoid, terrified, huge fears. Don't want to lose my dogs. Freaking out. Lost and alone. Help please, someone, God, help me.

Sapling

I asked you this in the other thread....Maybe you didn't see it. Can you get to an AA meeting and just be around some people that understand what you're going through?....Have been there. They will help you.

SoberForMySon

They occur twice a week here while I am at work at the dog kennel. Crap!!!! Help. I don't know what to do.

Vall

Oh dear, can you chat to someone on SR for a while perhaps to help you get things into perspective SFMS? I don't know how it works but there may be one of the experienced people on there that could help. Sapling?

Please don't despair - don't give up. If you need to SFMS go to ER - don't stay alone worrying please ok?

Sapling

Are you out in the country or something?....Just don't drink today....Hang on to what you got....This will pass.....Drinking will help nothing!!

SoberForMySon

Yes, tiny town!!! Thanks loves....

Needsassistance

Sober, you can do this. Keep your sobriety, while it seems bleak at the moment your current despair will pass. We'll just have to be creative getting it, sapling recommended an aa meeting, when is the next one near you?

Sapling

Why are all the alcoholics from tiny towns?....Just hang around here today.....Stay connected.....Maybe you can adjust your schedule so you can make those two meetings...I think that would be great for you. I'm serious.

Anna

Hang in there. Take some slow, deep breaths and just try to focus on your breathing for a few minutes. It will calm you.

I'm sorry you are not able to find medical help. Do you have a family dr you can talk to? You could consider going to an ER.

Please feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk.

Itchy

I don't know what to do either. I can't heal your illness, and can't make your detox and maintenance any easier. All I can say is that if you stay sober, and hang in there you will find the strength to get the help you need.

All I can do from afar is send you cyber hugs, and my prayers that you calm down enough to get help and regain what you lost. If you post your city many here will Google all the facilities there, and AA meetings to try to point you to them, but there's the rub. You still have to go yourself to the ER, counseling center, facility, church for pastoral counseling, Sponsor, recovered local alcoholic, or public health center. Google them and pick an alternative, any alternative and go. Do this for yourself, so you can heal and do for your son. I will cheer and pray for you.

Stop testing your strength. You are strong to have come this far.

Change4life

Hugs sent out to SFMS can you feel it, Ive got a pretty good bear hug. breathe and take it in
stop worrying about the dog poop that is crap. twice a weeK? I make up excuses not to go to meetings all the time, but when I get there I feel relieved, I understand paranoia and fear all to much.. I think alcohol will help but it never does. I am still on the fence in terms of being totally dedicated to sobriety, but I can say for the most part my fear and anxiety is worse when I am drinking. If I drink when I wake up I am in total panic mode. That has lessened when I dont drink.

SoberForMySon

Thank you . I am needle and doc phobic to the extreme so ER is kind of out for me. No needles, no exams. Period. Horrid phobic. Panic, scream and cry, fight or flight. Never seen a doc since a kid, not even for child birth. Midwife and didn't let her touch me. Yes, I am nuts! Not afraid of shrinks, though! So that's good. Also have dogs who need me and hub doesn't even know what they eat. I can't leave. One of my gravest fears is being forced from my home cos of my dogs. So all in all... I am a nut!!!! Pray for me.... I need Gods love.

Sapling

You're going to have to walk through some of these fears.....Fear is what kept me drinking for way too many years......I either got through them....Or this disease was going to kill me. You're going to have to do some things to help yourself......That's life.

Sugarfix

You're not a nut. Honestly. If you were, you wouldn't recognise it

Stay sober, you can do it

Why don't you, to reassure yourself... and keep you distracted and occupied... write a little action plan for your husband, should he ever need to look after the dogs whilst you aren't there? That way you know, that he knows what to do in case you aren't around

Stay online... read your past posts... look how far you have come!

You can do this! Don't let it beat you

SoberForMySon

ThAn I you sugar fix!

SoberForMySon

Grrr iPad typos!!!!

doggonecarl

You have his love. Pray for strength. Your strength. For it's you that is going to have to pull you through all the barriers you've placed in the way of your recovery.

Sapling

Don't worry about it....You know how much I want to see you get sober and stay that way....Keep working on that.....We'll get you typing lessons later.

SoberForMySon

Thanks my friends, if I can call you that...

SoberForMySon

I will not cut. It does not help. I will not drink. There's no good there. I will not do that to my son. It just wouldn't be fair. Repeat. Times twenty. And tonight, as scared as I m, I will be curled up with my dog in my arms. That's a gift.