Four months clean
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 124
Four months clean
Hello all. I am nearly 4 months clean, and pretty happy about that. I still am struggling though. Every week I go to my therapist and he tells me to go to AA or I will eventually become more and more depressed. I say ok and I feel better accepting that I have to go to aa. So the next day I usually go to a meeting talk to some people and still cant get into it. Then I start feeling bad again. They say it is my disease wrestling with me. It is denial they say. I respect the program and the People, but I am sick of wrestling with this. I just want to move on with my life, but it seems when I try to my mind starts telling me you are going to keep feeling worse and worse until you slip up. Anyway I just had to vent. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Congtrats on four months.....Maybe AA is not for you....Maybe it is. Here is a question for you.....Would you be open to finding someone with some time in AA that has had a spritual awakening as a result of the steps...To sponsor you and take you through the steps?...That is the program of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,225
do you just not enjoy the meetings? For me, I really liked hearing people tell what happened to them, how they got sober, and what their life was like now. It gave me a path to follow. But perhaps AA is not for you. However, sounds like your therapist is telling you to find some support system. Otherwise not drinking will be much harder for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: NY,NY
Posts: 5
I was sober for 15 years before a relapse and in truth never felt comfortable in meetings,I made some great friends ,one of which is still my best bud,my sponser went out after 20 and he was Mr AA ,still a friend but,im sorry The groups are too big,there are a huge group of people there because of DWU waitng there time,and a lot of egomaniacs,plus the idea the newcomer is the most important person is yeah right,not exactly foremost in most mind. Id like someone to tell me has AA changed over 20 years,the amount of people I know with time that have gone back out is staggering,I recommend more cognitive reading ,maybe some one on one therapy iff AA not doing it,best of luck to you
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Ttal))) - Congratulations on 4 months! I honestly don't remember where my thoughts were at 4 months, but I'm pretty sure I was still struggling, just a bit. SR has been "enough" for me, but some need more. There are all kinds of recovery programs...AA, SMART, AVRT, etc.
I had attended AA meetings in the past, and I still use what I learned there. The hardest thing for me, was to accept that I was an addict. Once I did that, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.
I still have some hard times, but I know that using isn't an option. I've had 2 doctors (one left the practice) for my 5-1/2 years in recovery and finally agreed that yeah, I need an anti-depressant.
I'm not saying you do. I'm just saying that having a dr. who knows my past has been invaluable.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I had attended AA meetings in the past, and I still use what I learned there. The hardest thing for me, was to accept that I was an addict. Once I did that, I just kept putting one foot in front of the other.
I still have some hard times, but I know that using isn't an option. I've had 2 doctors (one left the practice) for my 5-1/2 years in recovery and finally agreed that yeah, I need an anti-depressant.
I'm not saying you do. I'm just saying that having a dr. who knows my past has been invaluable.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,491
I hope you consider other recovery programs, too. There are many of us here who have recovered using various methods. I did need to take action in early recovery and for me, it was getting involved in volunteer work. Try to do what feels right for you and what works for you. And, as Least said, it could be possible that talking to your dr about antidepressants would be helpful.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Wonderful job on your 4 months clean! I felt like it was a struggle for the first months I was sober, but finally that uncertain feeling ended. I hope you'll get more comfortable and less anxious as time goes on.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Ttal Grats on 4 months! I am one day behind you. Feel free to join in the class of may thread. I agree there are many people doing sobriety by many different methods but i also have heard aaers say to try different meetings with different people. I try to focus on a bigger picture of health consciousness and it gives me happier outlook that I'm treating my body right and living my life healthy. So give yourself credit for what you are achieving.
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