silly

Mark75 always has great things to say. I completely agree with him. I guess even at my worst I'd be on my best behavior at the boss's house. So you might very well be surprised at how little people drink. If you absolutely must have it at your house, put the emphasis on food, get people stuffed with good stuff, they won't have room for a lot of alcohol. Have food ready immediately. No 2 hour cocktail "hour" before the main course! That'll wrap things up sooner, too. At the end of the evening, if there is alcohol left, send it with your guests. If they refuse that evening, have your SO take it to the office and let them grab something the next day. It'll be gone before noon.

MsJax

Hi Pretty . Good work on planning ahead. You know, you don't have to have a company party at all. One thing I have learned for sure in sobriety is to toss old ways of doing things and old expectations. I really feel a lot of people are so exhausted by the holiday rat race they don't even like the extra stress of the Christmas party. I just give my employees a decent bonus. My long term staff know they will be able to afford a good Christmas for their kids because of it.

Sasha4

I went to a wedding a in May and I was dreading it.
Maybe you could do some of things I did to avoid drinking?

I decided I would be unoffical offical photographer.
So no drinking and lots of batteries for my camera.

I focused on taking tons of nice pictures that I would put on a disc for the happy couple.
It made a lot of hours pass fast that would have been taking up by drinking.
The ungrateful sods have never said thank you, but I did it for me really, not them.
They should have done as they were so blind drunk I would have thought they would of liked to remember the happy day they thousands of pounds on!!!

So nice to wake up without a hangover and no 'what did I do's?'

The other thing I have done is host entertainment.
Perhaps you could run some award ceremony for your employee's and you have to stay sober so that you can present them with a small token and say thank you?

I think Mark is also spot on - the events that I have been too since becoming sober I have noticed that people have one or two. No-one drank like I did!!

If anyone asked why I was not drinking, I replied to most of them that I had set myself a challenge to give up drinking for a year. Most of them were in awe of me. No need to say anymore!

silly

Sasha4,
LOVE your ceremony idea! employees love that and it's a great reason to stay sober. There's no need to spend much money. Letters of recognition, coins, small trophies, anything they can display at work is perfect.

I also love your "excuse" for sobriety. That's really cool!

Mark75

That's exactly perfect.

I remember the first summer party we had here at home... we live in a rural area... and OMG, the parties we used to have when we were younger, LOL...

Anyway, my wife's family is big, I love them all and they are like my own brothers and sisters... There was a 50th B-day party for one of my BIL, I was still under a year.. well.. I like music so I was the DJ and we had some slides we wanted to see from way back so I was the AV nerd (I actually was, in college, it was my work study program)...

It gave me focus, but more importantly, at that early stage, a purpose... Now I don't have to manufacture or make my own purpose, but I did then and it is an amazingly powerful tool for getting through some of these events...

Mizzuno

I think that so many people have given great suggestions. I don't have anything to add. I just wanted to offer my support and let you know that your doing a GREAT JOB!

Sasha4

Thanks!

Maybe an Olympic theme?
Chocolate medals on streamers?
Fastest photocopier?
Fastest to leave the the office?
Slowest to get in into work?
Best team effort - like the relay?

You could even have people wear tracksuits and lycra!

You could have 1st, 2nd and 3rd podiums and take photo's of them being presented with their 'medals' and theme music.

You could project famous olympians onto the wall and make a little home mad movie. Lots of motivavting theme tunes, like the one from Rocky might be good.

You could just serve 'energy drinks' and carb loading, energy food!

Everyone has to wear lycra cycling shorts - maybe I am getting a bit carried away now!!!

Can I come please?
What business are you in?

xx

Sobersunshine

Pretty, so many fabulous suggestions here, I have nothing to add in that regard.

I think you are going to do just fine. You are already planning with how to deal with the situation.

I wanted to sympathize with you in terms of the holidays. I usually see my parents about twice a year, becaus I live very far away. One of those times is usually around Christmas. There's lots of drinking going on. My parents are social drinkers, and they drink more at the holiday time because of parties, etc. no binging or anything, just a little more. So I'm stressing about being home, having alcohol freely available. They don't know I'm an alcoholic and the don't know I'm in recovery. I'll probably post more on this later but for now I just want to say that, like you, I'm trying to formulate a plan for the situation so I don't slip.

Having said that, I am also reminding myself, One day at a time. It may be easier than you think (or than I think) when the time comes and we have more sober days behind us. So I think you're being very smart planning ahead but don't let yourself go too crazy about it, either. I think when the time comes you will do great!

Fandy

I'm sorry if I came across to you harshly....no, you're not stupid at all. Mea Culpa.

I got sober in February....i obsessed for months about going to Easter dinner (in April) and drinking club soda, I made it such a big deal in my head, i was shocked that no one noticed I wasn't drinking, my SIL made me lemon tea, i had seltzer and and extra piece of pie....it was a bigger deal in my head than in reality.

and the Christmas and holiday decorations are OUT. I saw them in Costco....cards, ribbons, toys, and these really pretty flameless Christmas tree candles i want to buy before they are all gone.

PaperDolls

I went to a company holiday party once. That was 12 years ago. I made a fool of myself. I haven't been to once since then.

If you're the boss and paying for it you get to decide what sort of part it is.

Good luck to you!

mecanix

I'd divide the cost of the party by the number of the employees, call them together on christmass eve (monday) and let them home early with a nice christmass tip

Or if they really want a party, say you'll give them $XX a head , my company in the uk gives a £20 christmass dinner allowance and lets us have a paied afternoon off in which to have it at a pub/restraunt .

silly

Here we worry about our past and future behavior... On the flip side, I remember one year I went to the boss's house for a holiday party. She was the CFO of the hospital where I worked. She had so much to drink she forgot a lot of our names and she'd only invited about 20 people. By the end of the night she'd fallen down the stairs (all the way down), sat down on the kitchen floor for no reason and insisted that we all hug her and each other before we could leave. This is an ice queen normally! I mentioned very vague details to a close co-worker that Monday morning. He hadn't gone for unknown reasons. He said she's like that at every party she has and it's sometimes so uncomfortable that he and his wife just won't go anymore. He didn't care that she's the CFO. Then he asked me something I hadn't even thought about... "Did her husband seem embarrassed or bothered?" and I had to say, "no. it was like he didn't even notice..."
Anyway, that has little to do with the thread. I was just thinking that I'd rather go to a party where you're my boss and you're not drinking and maybe you don't have alcohol or you have just a couple of bottles of wine for the meal or whatever. That's a much better picture than a boss falling down the stairs. In your shoes, I'd rather have people talk about how boring my party was (and yours won't be!) than talk about how I forced hugs on people and randomly camped out on the kitchen floor and couldn't remember the name of my key accountant.

Lost3000

I think Fandy hit it on the head, albeit a bit harshly. I was thinking the same thing. Calm down, take one day at a time. But I do realize you have to make these kind of plans NOW. So I guess if it was me, I'd decide on having it at my home or elsewhere, and then forget the rest - because that's the part that you just have to let happen. And yeah, the more sobriety under your belt the easier it is.

I'm almost 9 months sober now and like you, I've been thinking/worrying about the holidays. Each time the thought enters my head, I have to push it away and remember, I'll deal with it when it comes. It's not really planable, you know?

Vall

Everyone has such brilliant suggestions here. You are spoilt for choice and support :>

I just want to commend you Pretty on thinking ahead.

That just shows how serious and committed you are to your continued recovery.

x

Fandy

if you break it down, it's just a few hours and a lot of work planning the party.

truthfully, i'll be if you took a vote, everyone would rather have a 1/2 day OFF and some cash or a nice giftcard (that they could REGIFT)

Lost3000

I totally agree with this. I really dislike our company parties. They are stuffy, and I never feel releaxed. I feel obligated to attend. I'd much rather have cash. It seems the parties are always for the big whigs to look and feel important. Us workers, well, we just don't care that much. I guess it's just the reality of today's US corporations.

MIRecovery

To some degree having to have booze at your party is alcoholic thinking. I know when I drank I thought everyone in the world drank maybe not to excess but drank and wanted to drink. After being sober for a while I have found there are a ton of people who do not drink and a ton who just do not care if they drink or not.

Someone mentioned the very real liability factor of serving alcohol at a company event. I'm sure it would **** off the alcoholics but about 80-90% of your employees will not care. Blame it all on the insurance company's and lawyers (sorry insurance people and lawyers) but have a dry party.

Realistically you just have to stay sober today and remember FEAR stands for Future Events Appear Real. Stay out of the future and the past so you can live today

Fandy

if I had a choice of going to a party and having to spend extra time with the people I spend all day with all week long, or 1/2 a day off and $100.00 giftcard (hey it's my fantasy, $100. sounds reasonable, but $250. sounds better).

I would want the time and the $$. i like my co-workers but i like my family and friends much more.

las75

Early in my pregnancies, I always just drank tonic and lime so no one would ask questions too early. I'm doing the same now. If you have what looks like a cocktail in your hand and stay busy socializing and accommodating the crowd it may be easier to get through. I'd also put an early "end time" to the party and schedule something great for you and your family to do the next morning. That way, you can explain to the employees why it has to end at a reasonable time. Have fun and keep focus on the happiness of the holidays. You'll appreciate how great you're doing by that time!

Sugarfix

Don't feel stupid.

I am already gutted that I won't be caning my usual bottle of Baileys every day from 1st November through to January! Baileys on Ice was heavenly (though the hangovers evil)

Christmas has crossed my mind!