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Old 09-17-2012, 02:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I knew it and did nothing about it!


This was my post from June of 2011:

"Hi everyone, had to recreate another account because I couldn't remember my username or email I had created about two years ago.....probably the booze clouding everything up. Anyway, woke up today and decided it I was going to get my head out of my ass and get serious about my drinking...so....hit up a noon AA meeting and another one at 7. Picked up the Big Book at the meeting tonight and am into 4 chapters already. I've told myself for years that I could quit whenever I wanted to....it's easy right....just don't drink! HAH! What a joke......for 20 years now I haven't stood a chance against the booze......When you realize how your drinking harms those around you and you don't do anything about it....then you have a problem. I came to that realization today...I'm powerless and I can't do it on my own......I swore that the AA meetings weren't for me but I now know that they are a HUGE influence and a MAJOR part of the recovery process......I've been a "professional drinker" for 20+ years, time to be good at something else......"

This is today's post:

Three days ago I was pulled over and charged with a high OVI here in OHIO. Blew a .20 and am now elegible for higher fines/terms. I have a lawyer who is considered one of the best DUI/OVI lawyers in the city and after speaking to him he thinks it can be reduced to a standard OVI. The problem is I am almost guaranteed to lose my job over this. OVI or other alcohol related charges mean you cannot enter certain countries and my job requires me to travel out of the USA. Bottom line is I've had problems with alcohol my whole life, knew I had a problem and did nothing about it. I guess I'm not sure what I'm asking/saying here, just rambling on. 41 years old and time for a lifestyle change, is this my midlife crisis?
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Old 09-17-2012, 02:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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((blackfrancis)) - welcome back to SR! Sorry about the OVI, but sometimes we need a rather rude awakening to make changes. I know I did (I'm an RA, crack was my DOC).

For me, SR has been enough to stay in recovery, got 5-1/2 years. For others, it takes meetings, AVRT, etc. in addition to SR.

I lost my career (nursing) due to addiction. All this time later, I'm hoping for a job cleaning offices or working in a convenience store, though I'm back in school.

I don't want you to be me. I strongly suggest you start working on your recovery, and knowing the legal system, I recommend meetings. Get a paper signed that you went, but more importantly LISTEN to those who talk. Rehab may be an option for you. The more proactive you are towards recovery, the better for YOU and the legal system.

I hope you realize that this is a big deal. You may lose your job because of it? You can stop digging the hole at any time, and as one who dug a REALLY deep hole and is still working to get out of it, I pray that you stop digging.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
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It's very difficult to change, despite knowing the consequences. Often we don't change until they've actually happened - for some people, this means death.

I'm very lucky in the sense that I knew I had a drink problem before I even considered/was of legal age to drive. For this reason, i'm never getting a car, as I can't trust myself.

All I can say is, I hope you find the strength to succeed and stay sober now. Life isn't over - far from it. Your employer may be understanding - see this as an opportunity to change, but make sure you mean it!
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I knew I needed to do something about my drinking for many years...And I didn't do anything until I was ready....I needed every drink I had to know I'd had enough....Lost it all...Wife, House, Job....Everything....You know what I did about it?....I did what you posted in June of 2011....But I did it in July of 2011....And I haven't had a drink since. Sounds like you know what the plan is...You just need the action to make it happen....Because trust me....It can get worse.
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Old 09-17-2012, 03:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blackfrancis View Post
. I guess I'm not sure what I'm asking/saying here, just rambling on. 41 years old and time for a lifestyle change, is this my midlife crisis?
Seems to me, drinking is your crisis. Sobriety might be just the change you need.

Good luck.
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Old 09-17-2012, 05:50 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome back

I didn't do anything about my problem either..says a lot about me then that I was still genuinely surprised when my life crashed around my ears tho....

I hope you can make this your turning point BF

What's your plan?

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Old 09-17-2012, 05:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Assuming you have 41 more years on the back half. What is the plan? You can do something brilliant and get yourself straight so that you may help others who struggle with drinking as well. What is an OVI?
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Old 09-17-2012, 05:59 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Well my wife was out of town and she found out when I told here the minute she came home. A friend of mine who is a detective here picked her up and was present when I told her. I felt he could offer some inside advice to both of us upon her receiving the news. So...tomorrow I meet with my lawyer and go over the whole scenario and then I'll see from there. Court date is Friday and I cannot drive until I can hopefully arrange some work privileges then. I am going to voluntarily offer to attend a three day "drunk school" before my court date and will probably attend AA meetings again. I think I now realize that it needs to be part of my life to attend these meetings instead of just going through the motions until things feel back to normal. That's my temporary plan so far. I didn't know how my wife would react but she has been nothing but completely supportive. Obviously shes not happy but I think she sees that maybe this incident will work better for the both of us in the long run.
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Old 09-17-2012, 06:02 PM   #9 (permalink)
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OVI is Ohio's way of saying DUI.
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Old 09-17-2012, 06:07 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Welcome back.

Well you sound a lot like my story. I got my 4th dui in Ohio back in June 2010. I got all them from the time in moved back here in 97. That is what it took for me. During my time down Cuyahoga County Jail serving my time for it, I went into severe detox and wound up at the ICU at the Cleveland Clinic. Well after 5 days there they released me, and that night I was out at the bar drinking like I do. Well I got resentenced and then release. Thru all those dui's I never had to attend AA, only jail time, and MADD classes, plus 2 years no driving and 2 years of drug and alcohol testing.

Well I lost everything by this time car,job(chef @ very famous persons place here in cleveland,all money. Then I walked thru the doors of AA on my own accord. That was 15 months ago. It hasnt been easy ride but things are much better.

I am 41 also and today I am sober. I started my own small peirogi business here thru the love of people in AA, and have a nice place to lay my head and great friends..

Take this for what it is, a reality wakeup call. Get to meetings take a sheet get it signed , go to court see what happens. Its all up to the prosecutor and judge. Its out of your hand now as far as that goes. But you can start getting your life on track and living without these "jackpots" ever again.

Wish you all the best, keep coming here and posting your progress.
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Old 09-17-2012, 06:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Sounds like you have the support you need to get help. My Dad drank until he was 59 and was told that he had stage 4 liver cirrhosis. Since then, 4 years later, all of his friends have died of drinking related issues. He is the last one left. He never got in any trouble, stayed at home while his friends came over, so there was no driving. There was never a "wake-up call", this is yours and maybe it is the blessing in disguise that will save your life, embrace it. The sad part about all of this is that he says he cant remember most of what happened over the 10 years that he was drinking heavily. It's so sad to watch him deteriorate and cling to the things that he should have been enjoying all along, gardening, spending time with the grandkids. He's just too sick to enjoy things to their fullest.
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Old 09-17-2012, 07:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
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blackfrancis - I was even older - in my 50's - when I got a couple DUI's in a row & my world changed forever. It was a terrifying time, and it didn't need to come to that. I knew decades ago that I was letting alcohol rule my life. I, too, did nothing but make a weak attempt at moderating.

You didn't ramble - we all understand. Glad you came here to talk this over. You aren't alone. Please keep posting and let us know how it's going.
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:39 PM   #13 (permalink)
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UPDATE:

Well, a little over two weeks have passed. The initial shock of being arrested, the impending process of obtaining a lawyer, studying state law and its consequences, the possibility of job loss, the stress involved with this whole legal process on myself and family is just incredible. All because of A _ _ _ _ _ L.

I ended up with a pretty darn good attorney because my High OVI/DUI was reduced to a Physical Control charge and the other speeding/seat belt violations were thrown out. I went to a 3 day driving/alcohol class a week after being arrested and before the court ordered me to go. Went to an alcohol assessment by a state counselor as well and all of this before court. Now I have a small fine and driving restrictions until March and have to do 72 hours of community service. Actually excited about the community service as I was planning on volunteering more and the places I had been looking at in doing the volunteering are also recommended and certified by the state for its community service time. The job is still on the line however as I'm not sure exactly it will all play out.

The 3 day course was 72 hours in a hotel and you could not leave the premises. The program was absolutely wonderful and I gained a ton of knowledge. Speakers came by and told stories, some shocking and I could've EASILY been the one that had caused the same scenarios that were being spoken about. I honestly had no idea about the severity of the state laws regarding DUI's and alcohol. If you aren't sure about your states laws, I strongly encourage you to find them and learn. Those alone should be a deterrent.

I also was quite alarmed at how all of these DUI cases are a money maker for the states. It seems like the courts are more interested in how many cases they run through the system then actually helping those that were arrested. A good attorney that knows the local system and has a good relationship with judges and prosecutors is essential to getting anything reduced!

Another speaker in the driving/alcohol school told his story. I'll keep it brief but he was and still is a prosecutor who is an alcoholic. His story was my story TO A TEE:

* sleeping with a pizza in the oven
* drinking until blackouts
* hiding booze

etc, etc, etc......

I'm sure its a story that most of you know very well but when you hear it from someone in his position, it makes you very aware that alcoholism can be beat and that you can move on. Thanks to everyone for the support and I hope to read what others think about what I've written about...

Blackfrancis
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Old 10-05-2012, 05:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Yes, it sounds like you learned a lot.
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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remember, those external factors are great motivators for sobriety but the best one is the desire from within to be rid of this overwhelming, driving force that makes you seek out alcohol to the detriment of your life. when you want sobriety for yourself, not just your job or driving privileges or marriage, that's when motivation for sobriety really sets in. sounds like maybe this time, that's what's settling in for you. keep desiring sobriety for yourself, not just those external factors in your life. because you alone are deserving of sobriety. the rest of those things are just icing on the cake, my friend.
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Old 10-05-2012, 06:09 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Hi BF!
I wanted to say hello. I'm in ohio too. Been there, done that with the OMVI, did the weekend "retreat" at the hotel.

When I had my "incident" I was in my early 20's, now 10 years later I am still dealing with my issues, nothing to crazy, still functioning and living life. I'm still working on "acceptance" and that fact I would be better off sober.

I'd be a lier to not admit it is a struggle. Good luck....there is a solution

So many signs we get that we have a problem and we choose to ignore.
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Old 10-06-2012, 08:24 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Yes, its unfortunate (at least in my personal case) to actually ignore the thousands of warning signs until something serious happens....the only thing that kept me or my story from being like the ones presented to me in the videos and speakers was the fact I didn't kill or hurt anyone. I can't imagine how life would've been if something of that nature had happened. I didn't remember driving, didn't remember most of the arrest....scary. Right now I don't have a craving to drink, I guess I'm still stunned over all of this but I'm going to make a strong effort to cease from doing so ever again. I've always told myself I should quit but never really tried. Oh, I tried thousands of times to "cut back" but obviously that plan didn't work. I'm not a daily alcoholic but the binge type. One turns into seventeen....somehow for 25 years I managed to squeak through the cracks, not get caught, I guess 4 damaged vehicles wasn't enough to get my attention...
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:38 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Yes, its unfortunate (at least in my personal case) to actually ignore the thousands of warning signs until something serious happens....the only thing that kept me or my story from being like the ones presented to me in the videos and speakers was the fact I didn't kill or hurt anyone. I can't imagine how life would've been if something of that nature had happened. I didn't remember driving, didn't remember most of the arrest....scary. Right now I don't have a craving to drink, I guess I'm still stunned over all of this but I'm going to make a strong effort to cease from doing so ever again. I've always told myself I should quit but never really tried. Oh, I tried thousands of times to "cut back" but obviously that plan didn't work. I'm not a daily alcoholic but the binge type. One turns into seventeen....somehow for 25 years I managed to squeak through the cracks, not get caught, I guess 4 damaged vehicles wasn't enough to get my attention...
Hello, I am in NE Ohio. It's Day 1 of my new life without alcohol. Looking forward to being able to wake up in the morning and remember what it was I did last night!

Any suggestions on what to do if I have a stupid mental moment where I think a six pack sounds good?
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Old 10-10-2012, 10:59 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by blackfrancis View Post
...I'm going to make a strong effort to cease from doing so ever again.
A strong effort?

Not enough. How about a vow to never drink again? Ever. And to do everything in your power to keep that vow.

Good luck.
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Old 10-10-2012, 03:00 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Welcome back, Blackfrancis. I didn't start habitually drinking heavily until about a couple years ago. That being said, I do think I've known I had a problem with alcohol for about 10 years now. If I go back and look at my old journal entries, I typically see each year on January 1st a list of New Years resolutions and "drinking less alcohol" is always there. Sad, but true. Glad you are here.
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