Depression.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Don't give up....that's not an option. You need to believe things can change.
I'm living proof they can. I suffered too, with repeated sexual assault and torture. I endured subsequent depression, self-loathing, self-harm and a myriad of mental health issues.
Today I'm working through those issues but I'm actually free of the depression. I couldn't do any of it without support. I would undoubtably still be hiding under my duvet or in a bottle.
Fear is devastating.
Reach out for help. I know how hard it is.
You are never alone xxxx
I'm living proof they can. I suffered too, with repeated sexual assault and torture. I endured subsequent depression, self-loathing, self-harm and a myriad of mental health issues.
Today I'm working through those issues but I'm actually free of the depression. I couldn't do any of it without support. I would undoubtably still be hiding under my duvet or in a bottle.
Fear is devastating.
Reach out for help. I know how hard it is.
You are never alone xxxx
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry you're struggling Dom.
I think it's vital to deal with your depression as well as your alcoholism.
Others have given you ideas for your alcoholism, but maybe you need to see your Dr, or maybe more counselling, for the depression as well...you've been through a lot in the past few years.
D
I think it's vital to deal with your depression as well as your alcoholism.
Others have given you ideas for your alcoholism, but maybe you need to see your Dr, or maybe more counselling, for the depression as well...you've been through a lot in the past few years.
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Dom, I'm so sorry.
I've struggled with depression since I was a teen (I'm 43 now) and anxiety/panic disorder since my early 20s. No one who hasn't experienced that darkness of depression can know how debilitating it is. It isn't just being "sad." it robs you of all energy and motivation to try to get better. It's a vicious, horrible cycle. I definitely self medicated with alcohol to combate my emotional disorders. I've also seen a psychiatrist, therapists, counsellers, physicians, etc. I've been on various meds, and found one that actually works ok, when I take it regularly. Problem is, I don't. Stupid me. I was slowly sinking into a depression over the past year, and ended up at a new doctor's office, sobbing uncontrollably. She put me back on my medication. Well, I've been faithfully taking my meds as prescribed for two months I was slowly pulling out of my latest dark episode. Then I quit drinking with dr. help 13 days ago. Guess what? I feel alot better. My meds work better when alcohol isn't in the mix, and I have more energy just from not drinking to do the other things I'm supposed to do to fight depression, like exercise, eat well, etc.
You can pull out of this depression. I know some depression "types" (not sure of the right word) are harder to treat than others, especially when something like PTS is invovled. But I think most people are able to be helped. I even have a friend who was treated with electroshock therapy! It worked for her when all else failed.
Are you on any medication? Have you sought treatment specifically for PTSD? Did you receive any rape counseling? Have you gotten a definitive diagnosis from a medical professional? I certainly believe you when you say you are depressed, but sometimes it could be manic depression or bipolar disorder or something else that requires a different type of treatment.
One thing for sure, drinking will not help! I know it seems like the only way to temporarily take away the pain, but it will only make things worse. Depression and alcohol can lead to some very bad things such as suicide. Believe me, I uNderstand. I've been there too often before and I'm sure I will be again, but I plan to face my next dark time sober.
It sounds like you've been through a lot of trauma and my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry AA doesn't seem to be working for you. Maybes try another group. Is there a meeting for younger people? I wouldn't dismiss a group out of hand just because they are older, however. Those old timers do have some wisdom. If AA doesn't work there are other types of recovery groups you could try as well.
Please talk to your doctor about quitting alcohol. You can do it. If I did, you can. Look st all the people on this site who quit and are so much happier for it. Stop drinking. Alcohol will only make it worse. We're here for you, keep posting.
I've struggled with depression since I was a teen (I'm 43 now) and anxiety/panic disorder since my early 20s. No one who hasn't experienced that darkness of depression can know how debilitating it is. It isn't just being "sad." it robs you of all energy and motivation to try to get better. It's a vicious, horrible cycle. I definitely self medicated with alcohol to combate my emotional disorders. I've also seen a psychiatrist, therapists, counsellers, physicians, etc. I've been on various meds, and found one that actually works ok, when I take it regularly. Problem is, I don't. Stupid me. I was slowly sinking into a depression over the past year, and ended up at a new doctor's office, sobbing uncontrollably. She put me back on my medication. Well, I've been faithfully taking my meds as prescribed for two months I was slowly pulling out of my latest dark episode. Then I quit drinking with dr. help 13 days ago. Guess what? I feel alot better. My meds work better when alcohol isn't in the mix, and I have more energy just from not drinking to do the other things I'm supposed to do to fight depression, like exercise, eat well, etc.
You can pull out of this depression. I know some depression "types" (not sure of the right word) are harder to treat than others, especially when something like PTS is invovled. But I think most people are able to be helped. I even have a friend who was treated with electroshock therapy! It worked for her when all else failed.
Are you on any medication? Have you sought treatment specifically for PTSD? Did you receive any rape counseling? Have you gotten a definitive diagnosis from a medical professional? I certainly believe you when you say you are depressed, but sometimes it could be manic depression or bipolar disorder or something else that requires a different type of treatment.
One thing for sure, drinking will not help! I know it seems like the only way to temporarily take away the pain, but it will only make things worse. Depression and alcohol can lead to some very bad things such as suicide. Believe me, I uNderstand. I've been there too often before and I'm sure I will be again, but I plan to face my next dark time sober.
It sounds like you've been through a lot of trauma and my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry AA doesn't seem to be working for you. Maybes try another group. Is there a meeting for younger people? I wouldn't dismiss a group out of hand just because they are older, however. Those old timers do have some wisdom. If AA doesn't work there are other types of recovery groups you could try as well.
Please talk to your doctor about quitting alcohol. You can do it. If I did, you can. Look st all the people on this site who quit and are so much happier for it. Stop drinking. Alcohol will only make it worse. We're here for you, keep posting.
Sober...Finally.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Galveston TX
Posts: 574
Thanks Sober. That is a nice post. I am working on getting the funding for all of the therapies and such, but it takes time for it to get appproved where I live. I am again on my 3rd day sober. The fatigue is killing me. I just don't have it in me than to do any more than it what is required of me. Soon, hopefully rather than later, I will have some kind of medical help. Maybe once I hit about 2 weeks sober I can finally get out of bed and make something out of myself, instead of self wallowing in my own pity. Thank you again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Hello Dom:
I heard a priest give a great talk at an Anniversary supper about 15 yrs ago. He was sober about 20 yrs and the one thing that really hit me in his talk was these few words:
"When I came to AA I asked myself 'Do I really want to quit drinking?'.... I answered 'YES'
After about 10 yrs in AA I asked myself 'How well do I want to get?' ........."
That's why I'm there now. The answer to all your ills are found in the 12 Steps.
I truly wish you the best.
Bob R
I heard a priest give a great talk at an Anniversary supper about 15 yrs ago. He was sober about 20 yrs and the one thing that really hit me in his talk was these few words:
"When I came to AA I asked myself 'Do I really want to quit drinking?'.... I answered 'YES'
After about 10 yrs in AA I asked myself 'How well do I want to get?' ........."
That's why I'm there now. The answer to all your ills are found in the 12 Steps.
I truly wish you the best.
Bob R
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