dont know why I keep doing stupid stuff
Heyo Change4life, I hear ya. I am in a similar situation. I was sober for 4 weeks, then for some reason went on a 3 day weekend bender. Because of it I ignored the one person who needed me (my-ex). We had been working on trying to mend our broken relationship and I had hopes of it working, but because of me drinking, and lying, she is out the door for good this time. I have only been sober about 24hrs now. But I feel like crud. it has been an emotional roller coaster of a day. Physically and emotionally I am exhausted. I had a bout of insomnia last night, due to the detox, so now I am at work, running on caffeine. And all I want to do is make my ex-happy. Something I never seemed to get right. I have hurt her to many times in the past, some things through drinking, others through me not thinking before I act. But I know that overall it was my fault. And I think that is what hurts the most... and now I am crying again... I am a sap today. (gotta keep it together around the guys, military doesn't like emotional types). I know that I am not offering you any advice, I just hope you don't feel so lonely. You aren't the only one in pain. Hope things work out better for you then they are for me right now. I think another AA session is in the works tonight. need to stay strong.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: In The Moment
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Change4Life
You just explained the #1 reason I relapse every time, regardless of how long I was sober. It could be 3 days or 3 months sober, but I would get an urge and my AV would say, "You made it this long with no problem, so what's a few beers?"
Until I recently realized that there is no such thing as a few beers, I couldn't stay sober. Just one beer spirals into weeks and months of binges.
Hang tough, start over and good luck. We're all in this together.
You just explained the #1 reason I relapse every time, regardless of how long I was sober. It could be 3 days or 3 months sober, but I would get an urge and my AV would say, "You made it this long with no problem, so what's a few beers?"
Until I recently realized that there is no such thing as a few beers, I couldn't stay sober. Just one beer spirals into weeks and months of binges.
Hang tough, start over and good luck. We're all in this together.
Change 4 Life,
Think about your priorities. You'll risk a fall to walk to the store to buy beer, but not to attend a meeting. If meetings will help, ask for a ride ....I'm sure some members would be willing. Sapling is right, you've been given a second chance....don't drink at work....or anywhere else for that matter!
Think about your priorities. You'll risk a fall to walk to the store to buy beer, but not to attend a meeting. If meetings will help, ask for a ride ....I'm sure some members would be willing. Sapling is right, you've been given a second chance....don't drink at work....or anywhere else for that matter!
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