veryready

So I guess I'm not the only one that shops at a few different liquor stores so they don't think I drink too much. Does that mean I'm not the only one to think that buying more will help me drink less? My relapse starts while driving home from work, passing the beer store, somehow deciding it's okay and then going in to the store. Step #1, do not exit at the beer store exit.

Natom

Stop going to meetings, return my ex's messages and get down to the bookies.

Natom.

EternalQ

Forget the truth of how it was, stop reaching out to others, stop feeling gratitude, shut down and isolate, feel sorry for myself, think my sorrows are unique, feel unworthy of a good life.. and... Bingo, I lose!

To prevent it, I remind myself of how it was, reach out to others till it is a habit, post AM and PM gratitudes, and continue to create a positive life so I can feel good about myself and so that i will want to maintain that feeling.

EternalQ

My recipe for relapse would be:
Quit SR
Don't tell people I don't drink so they won't know if I relapse
Spend a lot of time around old friends who drink at bars
Decide I'm not worth all the effort sobriety requires
Spend time with people who put me down.
Spend time with people who tell me I don't have a problem and I don't need to quit
Give up my plans and hopes for the future. Decide they're impssible.
Isolate totally.
Refuse to change internally and externally.
Decide I'm special and don't need to try.
Feel sorry for myself.

EternalQ

Another recipe for me would be:

Start keeping secrets
Turn down social invitations
Stop trying to cope with stress.
Keep no food in the house.
Hang around only drinkers.
Let myself fantasize about drinking.
Minimize the consequences of alcohol on my life
Make excuses for my bad behavior in general
Start smoking
Say no to change
Run from confrontations
Wallow in past disappointments
Feel sorry for myself

Soberpotamus

Death of my husband would rank up there. Finding out I have a terminal illness. Not getting accepted in grad school. Not getting a book published, rejection over and over. Foreclosing on a house.

TimetoStart

1) trying to find a non-profit so I can do my 80 hours of community service - only to either NOT have my called returned or to be told that they do not sign off on community service. And then after numerous calls, finally calling the county probation office only to be told "Good luck" as they just sent 200 letter looking for non profits.

2) getting pulled over stone cold sober while driving on a suspended license trying to get to work - after admitting to the officer that I'm an alcoholic and was just trying to get to work - I live 18 miles from the nearest bus top and was told "You have to figure it out - it's not all about you" I've been trying!

3) Car troubles

4) Trying to get help to an AA meeting with no help from the hotline. I hear AA is supposed to b so helpful, but found no help what soever. Was told the hotline was nothing more that an answering machine and could not provide any help.

O well, I'm screwed and there is no attainable help out there.

misterritter

Mine would be something that is definitely going to happen in a week.

I will be returning home after an extended visit with family. i have around 5 weeks sober now and the urge is getting stronger as the date to return home approaches.

I tell myself it would be a very rare event but that it would be ok to have an occasional binge. I am coming up with ways to decrease the chances but I know if i really want to do it nothing else will matter. I think the key is whether I accept that I won't be able to control the occasional drink because I definitely know I won't and don't want to return to what I was over the past year.

I am scared about returning home though and have only admitted that to one person before now.

EternalQ

My recipe would be
to take some poor self worth,
Add a cup of thinking I don't deserve to be healthy or happy,
Add a teaspoon of keeping secrets,
And a pinch of relationships with people who have no capacity for intimacy,
Blend in some old shame, (or you can substitute guilt if you have any)
Then after that's mixed,
pull away from those who love me,
let it sit with some extreme isolation,
and pair all that
with using alcohol as a substitute for relationships.

And to prevent it, I make sure I keep no self pity or shame in the house, face fears about getting close to people, and let the choice of sobriety boost my self esteem.

MelindaFlowers

My relapse would be telling myself "Just tonight. I'll just drink tonight. I haven't had any in 21 days and it sure would be nice to sit on the back porch and relax. I'll be hungover tomorrow but I've done that several thousand times. What could one more day hurt? Just tonight and start again tomorrow. Just tonight."

A second one would be "Well, my friend from out of town is visiting so just tonight." Repeat the first paragraph.

courage2

Great thread EQ -- thanks!

Here's a recipe that would cook up a hearty bowl of relapse-misery for me:

• Start dwelling in the past, warming up the self-loathing machine.
• Indulge in negative thoughts and speech.
• Shut good people out, break relationships.
• Take up with active problem drinkers, drug users, or sick bastards.
• Stop taking needed medications.
• Cancel my expectations for myself and inform others that I'd changed my mind about commitments.
• Stockpile money.
• Engineer a reason to go out of town or send my husband away.

My recipe for avoiding relapse is to build relationships with decent people, practice (through gratitude, through meditation) finding value in ordinary sober life, to set and work with others to meet high expectations, and to stay in the present not the past or future.

ForMeForThem

Well I had a pretty good recipe cooking yesterday...start with a husband going out of town (so it's my opportunity to secretly drink as much as I want and even have a day to recover from my hangover - says the nasty AV). Combine that with a really, really bad day, feeling stressed and overwhelmed by life in general. Add a difficult situation with my 16 year old son combined with feeling alone and with no support. Throw in some advice from friends, who don't know about my drinking problem, to have some wine because that's the answer to a bad day. Mix all that with some tears and a heaping serving of self-pity and why me...and bingo my perfect recipe for a relapse has been made.

To prevent it, I kept myself busy, I cried and went to bed, realizing I just needed to get through that day sober and things would be more clear in the morning. I tried to slow my self down and gave myself time. Of course things do feel better this morning, I know that was a recipe for disaster and today I am working on being grateful for recovery. I remind myself what I've worked so hard to overcome. I will remember that I never want to go back to where I was. I will not feel sorry for myself that I can't numb my feelings with alcohol. I will be proud that I no longer have to do that, that I am building a life where I can handle my emotions, good and bad.

Sobertaurus

That one gave me a chuckle. Yep, that would be me, too!

HockeyGuy

This pretty much is bang on with me. Amen to that!

I have a "sober days calculator" on my phone, and last week it made it all the way up to 30 days. That was awesome. Then I drank.. now it's back at 5. I'm looking forward to seeing 365 days

Jupiters

ding! ding! ding!
we have a winner.

Aellyce

Knowing myself, I'm not sure accidents, unexpected acute stresses or tragic events would do me in. In the past, often such events actually sobered me up for a couple days or made me want to drink less.

For me I think the biggest would be getting lazy and letting myself sink back into my old way of living in isolation and almost purely in the virtual world. Also, deliberately screwing up things that I'd developed - that usually makes me very disappointed in myself and ashamed, and these are bad news for me. If things don't work out the way I would want them, that's usually not a big problem for me - there are always new directions and new ways of thinking to be found. What's most difficult /triggering for me is my own destructiveness.

So as prevention, the best for me is to continuously working on a positive and constructive ways of living, making the effort as best as I can. That usually feels very rewarding for me and keeps me from wanting substitutes.

blackjay

I suffer from the same delusional thinking. Also, it seems like as soon as I have some success I get scared and do something to sabotage myself. I don't know what I am so afraid of. Maybe I have gotten so comfortable with failure that it feels like a safe place to live. The way I plan to overcome it all this time is to just not drink. Seems like over simplifying, but it doesn't have to be complicated. If I get scared or feel lost, then that's just how I'm going to have to feel.

MIRecovery

Stop going to AA

stop being grateful for what I have

Isolating

stop praying

stop talking other alcoholics

being in drinking situations

putting things before my sobriety

trying to change people places and things

Allow resentments back into my life

there are lots more but these would be a good start to drinking

grubby

From my time here i've gathered that the following are the most common "recipes" for relapse:

1. boredom
2. "anxiety"
3. sudden or unexpected stressful event(s)

Personally i am concerned about the upcoming winter/holiday season in a few months, i always hit the bottle PRETTY hard during the fall-new years day period.........

I'll have to be on guard, i'm pretty sure the AV will make another move around this time-period.

jdooner

Talk myself into the fact I am not really an alcoholic and addict because of my success in recovery and that I could handle moderation.