i made a huge decision
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Spanaway,wa
Posts: 111
i made a huge decision
I've been fighting to stay sober. I felt like my husand was purposly trying to threaten my sobriety. He was leaving wine and beer by the door when he left for work. Then texting me saying he had a bad feeling I had been drinking. Really?!
I was fighting my butt off to get better for my family. Every time I messed up he would make me feel like I was going to lose my entire world. The stress of trying to stay sober, get out of my depression and save my family was too much. Then he started talking to someone else....and I lost it. I really just wanted to die because it seemed easier.
I decided with in hours to pack up my kids and fly to alaska to friends and family that love me and support me. I've been here 5days and havnt drank. I'm determined to use all of this support to make myself better so when I go back I can deal with life with a clear mind.
My problem is..... I'm so focused on him and fixing my family...that its totally clouding my mind to focus on what really matters. I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I don't know how to get myself together. I NEED to use this time to better myself but I can't find it in me.
I was fighting my butt off to get better for my family. Every time I messed up he would make me feel like I was going to lose my entire world. The stress of trying to stay sober, get out of my depression and save my family was too much. Then he started talking to someone else....and I lost it. I really just wanted to die because it seemed easier.
I decided with in hours to pack up my kids and fly to alaska to friends and family that love me and support me. I've been here 5days and havnt drank. I'm determined to use all of this support to make myself better so when I go back I can deal with life with a clear mind.
My problem is..... I'm so focused on him and fixing my family...that its totally clouding my mind to focus on what really matters. I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I don't know how to get myself together. I NEED to use this time to better myself but I can't find it in me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 289
You've taken the first brave step in removing you & your kids from that situation. Now, top priority has to be your health & your sobriety. You want to have the strength to get through this & make the right decisions, & you want to be the best you can for your children, so you need to take care of YOU first. You deserve it. Have faith in yourself, you sound stronger than you give yourself credit for. Come here as often as you need to. There are a lot of great people ready to support & encourage you, know you're not alone!
You have my Best Wishes!!
Big Hugs~jaz
You have my Best Wishes!!
Big Hugs~jaz
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Spanaway,wa
Posts: 111
I will. I'm actually staying with a friend that has an issue with alcohol and wants to stop. We've always said we wished we were together to support each other and help eachother get through this. She's an rn at the only hospital here so she doesn't really want people seeing her at aa.
Sobriety is a solid foundation for living. It is good to make it a priority and do what you need to do to get sober. As long as you can make sure the kids are looked after the rest is your option.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Spanaway,wa
Posts: 111
I hate feeling like the entire world os on my shoulders. I started with focusing on my sobriety to finding a way to clean up my familys mess and dealing with my children being 3000 miles away from their father. Seeing how this is effecting them is breaking my heart and making it so hard to focus on myself.
I believe I made the best choice by leaving. There was no way I could get better in that situation.
I believe I made the best choice by leaving. There was no way I could get better in that situation.
I hope you'll make it to a meeting hrich - sounds like you could use a little more support
If your RN friend is unwilling, can anyone else in your friends or family circle there go with you to that first AA meeting?
If your RN friend is unwilling, can anyone else in your friends or family circle there go with you to that first AA meeting?
Anchorage Area Intergroup AAIG - AA Alaska Style
Welcome to Alaska Area 02 AA
Alcoholics Anonymous Fairbanks, Alaska
Not sure where you are, but do a search on: aa city state
or just: aa alaska
Might be helpful for the both of you!
Welcome to Alaska Area 02 AA
Alcoholics Anonymous Fairbanks, Alaska
Not sure where you are, but do a search on: aa city state
or just: aa alaska
Might be helpful for the both of you!
hrich! Great to hear from you again. You've been in my thoughts and prayers for days. I'm glad you are supported by folks who want to see you succeed in your sobriety. Having a "sober buddy" for mutual support may be just what you need right now.
If I may say so, focus on yourself. You can't change him, you can only change your own behaviors. It's no wonder you feel exhausted after moving out. Give yourself a little time to get used to the current situation and to get your energy level back. It will be a lot easier to work on yourself then. It will come--but in the meantime, just keep plugging at staying sober every day. You can do this! Hugs and support.
I'm determined to use all of this support to make myself better so when I go back I can deal with life with a clear mind.
My problem is..... I'm so focused on him and fixing my family...that its totally clouding my mind to focus on what really matters. I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I don't know how to get myself together. I NEED to use this time to better myself but I can't find it in me.
My problem is..... I'm so focused on him and fixing my family...that its totally clouding my mind to focus on what really matters. I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I don't know how to get myself together. I NEED to use this time to better myself but I can't find it in me.
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