A little lost
 

I am what most people would label a binge drinker. Although I often go through long periods of sobriety, when I do drink, most often it ends in near or total blackout. The situation that finally pushed me to seek help through this forum is a couple of weeks ago I went out and got black out drunk. From what I can remember through the few hazy memories is that at one point I let a couple stranger take advantage of me. I have never felt so dirty in my life and to make matters worse I am in a committed relationship. I feel that when I drink, I become a completely different person. And although when I was younger I enjoyed letting the crazy side out, now all I feel the morning after is hurt and horrible. I don't like my drunk side anymore and I am very much afraid that if I continue down the road of binge drinking it may cost me everything that I care about. The truth about what happen the last time I drank is not something that I feel comfortable sharing with anyone in my family or friends and so I came here in the hopes of maybe finding some people who understand what I'm going through and can support me without fear of judgement.

AA helped me get sober and deal with the wreckage of the past. Might just be the ticket for you as well.

All the best.

Bob R

I was also a binge drinker and I know all to well that dread in the pit of your stomach feeling. At least you reconise you have a problem like I did EVENTUALLY. AA is agreat support for me and I had always dismissed it in the past. Give it a try it can't harm.
I hope you feel better soon. Take care.

No judgement here...I did a lot of things I was ashamed of....Alcohol cost me a 17 year marriage...Along with everything else I had. I needed a structured program with support from people like me...AA did the trick for me too. Welcome to the site...Glad you are here.

rose-
many of us have done the same or worse when drunk. I know I have. And the shame the next day is just awful.
The first thing you can do to help yourself is stop drinking. Get support here, maybe get to AA meetings (they saved my life and made the beginning a lot easier for me).

Doesn't matter whether you're a binger or a daily drinker. If alcohol takes away your ability to make a rational decision, and you cannot control how much you drink once you start, best to stop completely.

I am so sorry for your troubles. You've come to the right place. Many different methods exist, I am also researching. Best to you.

Welcome Rose :)

Many of us here know that feeling of regret and horror over things we've done drunk.
You'll find a lot of support here :)

Do you have any ideas on a plan to stop drinking?

D

Welcome to SR Rose :)

There is a lot of freedom that comes in quitting drinking and not having to worry about what will happen the next time you drink.

Glad you're here x

Welcome Rose!

It took me a long time to admit to myself that I had a problem with drinking. One drink always led to a lot of drinks and waking up wondering "why did I do that, again?"

I'm glad you found us.... you don't have to go through this alone! :hug:

So far I have been pretty successful in just staying away from it. The biggest issue for me is that I am a student. And a lot of parties at university (even though we are in a post-grad program) still revolved around drinking. For the time being I am trying to surround myself with friends who are supportive in my decision not to drink and take some of the pressure off. And I avoid a lot of the parties.

You have my sympathies, Rose. My heavy drinking started at those college parties that so heavily revolved around alcohol. It sounds like you're on the right path as far as choosing friends who are supportive. Those friends are your true friends!

Welcome to SR and best wishes to you!

hi rose,
I am also a black-out binge drinker. I used to try to keep myself out of trouble by drinking at home alone, but there were many times I ran out of booze too early, so I would I go out and wander into various bars in my area to keep drinking. I live in a big city and there are tons of bars within walking distance.
Often, I would start to hit on bartenders or other girls I had never met. A couple times their bf's were right beside them and I would get into fights and wake up with cuts and bruises. I would wake up horrified. I mean, who goes out by themselves drunk and hits on strange women and insults their bf's? I was 'That Guy'. The creepy drunk dude. *shudder*. Sometimes I would end up at these bars a month or two later with friends and the regulars seemed to know me and would thank me for buying them drinks. I had no real memory.

I guess I relate from a guy's perspective in that I too become that person we would never be when sober. Hate it!

Hey rosetyler....If you went out and got black out drunk a couple weeks ago....I would suggest...And you can take this or leave it....That you avoid all of the parties for awhile...And if trying to surround yourself with the right friends doesn't work....Look into working some kind of recovery plan...Good luck to you...Be sure and check in here and let us know how you are doing.