JohnnyOneDay

WWG,
I've been following your posts. One more thing we have in common is the love of football. Unfortunately we are on opposite sides of the Colts/Patriots rivalry (I think you're a Pats fan ??) !!! .... my beloved Colts lost yesterday, but Andrew Luck will have us in the win column very soon!! At least now you don't have to worry about Peyton Manning beating up on the PATs every year (LOL, even talking smack here... )

Seriously, I have found that I do not need beer/alcohol to enjoy the games; hopefully in time, you will discover that too. Maybe it is time for you to go to an AA meeting? That is the one thing that has helped me get to 41 days sober. You do not have to commit to "never" drinking again. Just take it one day at a time. You will find other people there that you can relate to.
My kids are teenagers now, and I missed out on SO MUCH of their growing up because I was so focused on the bottle. Don't make the same mistakes I did!! You have many great years ahead of you with your wife and daughter; life is so much better without alcohol in the picture!!

JohnnyOneDay
"Go Colts!"

walkingwithgod

Thanks JohnnyOneDay. I am a Pats fan, and we looked good yesterday. I am used to watching the games and my fantasy team on the computer on Sundays. I usually drink alone, or hang with a friend and drink. I am scared to experience life without alcohol. I also should go to an AA meeting, but scared to death about it. I feel if I go I am admitting failure in life.

Sapling

Compared to what?

walkingwithgod

I guess it really means I am an alcoholic, and I have lost control. I cannot get over the fact that all I picture at AA are bums and the lower class. I know this is nuts, but it is all I picture.

Sapling

Hey...Thanks a lot. Try people just like you and me. Do what you got to do...But I don't think you'd be being fair to yourself if you didn't at least try it....The only reason I think you should....Is because I've been where you are....And got out of it.

hypochondriac

Read your old posts WalkingwithGod... you're an alcoholic whether you go to AA or not.

Please don't use fear of AA as an excuse to carry on drinking... there are other methods out there x

I hope you find it in yourself to become a sober alcoholic soon x

WantToHeal

True, many of us aren't there...YET. Give it the opportunity, and alcohol can and will rob us blind of everything that means anything to us.

Moreover, although the people you picture in your mind's eye may be on a lower socio-economic level, they ARE at AA to make a positive change in their lives. No shame in that!

Keep trying, brother!

Sapling

I'll tell you one thing that was true for me....When I FINALLY honestly admitted that to myself....It made solving my problem so much easier.

walkingwithgod

I am embarrased about this. What do I tell my friends and family why I can't drink with them? I have always enjoyed a drink when ever I see my dad, and now I can't. I know my mom has given me the look before, after I have had too many. I feel like a failure, and worry about what people will think of me.

Sapling

I don't know about you....The friends I had that cared about me were happy for me...As was my family. Getting alcohol out of my life was a success for me...Being a drunk was a failure....And I did that long enough. Think about it.

JohnnyOneDay

WWG,
Your fear is understandable. We've all been there. We are all human. It is human nature to resist change. We get comfortable in our routine and live life through our own set of paradigms. "...This is the way that we've always done it..." Now, throw the "addiction" on top of the "resistance to change", and we've got one hell of a mountain to climb, it seems.

However, there is a way out. I have learned that I can NOT do this on my own; my way out of my alcoholic abyss is AA. I have found so many people through AA who truly understand what I am going through. It is very liberating and uplifting. I never looked at going to AA as admitting failure. On the contrary, I look at it as utilizing any and all means to achieving my goal of sobriety. And it works! AA levels the playing field. At nearly every meeting I've been to, the people there cover the full gamut, the wide spectrum, of people from different walks of life.... gender, economic status, race, religion, etc. I've met farmers, factory workers and tattoo artists. I've met elected politicians, corporate executive VP's, police officers, and pharmacists. I've met all types of regular people like me. You see, it does not matter our background, our career, our race, or orientation. Our college degrees (my BS and MBA) is completely irrelevant. True, outside of AA, we generally would not mix. But, we all have something in common, this powerless over alcohol, and our fellowship, and reliance on "our higher power", which works and keeps us coming back.

WWG, You can do it! Take it one day at a time. I love my newfound sobriety; I hope you can find yours.

Johnny

hypochondriac

Fear of embarrassment isn't a good reason to carry on drinking either WWG... (though it is much more likely you will suffer from embarrassment if you carry on drinking)

Have you ever tried writing a list of positive and negative things about drinking? It sounds like really you are not sure you actually want to quit and that might help you see it in black and white...

walkingwithgod

We seem very similar. How does AA work? Can i just walk in and sit down? Do I have to speak? Scared to go alone?
Matthew

Grace2

Hi again

You think life wouldnt be any fun without alcohol I think I remember you writing. Are you having fun now?

yes, going to an A.A meeting would mean that you are an alcoholic, but isn't that what you are?

could you just not try going to one meeting to see what you think? I think you would have the surprise of your life and aren't your wife and daughter worth trying anything that may make you better?

Sorry, I'm not having a go at you, I just want to to get this misery out of your life.

Big hugs

G

Grace2

Hey and you don't have to speak at all, you don't have to say anything ever, if you don't want to. You can just go and listen.

When I went I couldn't for the life of me speak, but it didn't matter at all.

Gx

soberjim

Hey WWG...Glad to see you interested in AA. I have never been so I cannot offer any advice. BUT there are many here who have had success with AA.

Good that you are reaching out. Admitting it is not a failure. I see as a first step to you being the person you want to be.

Jim

walkingwithgod

Thanks, I need the harsh words. I am scared to go to AA. I have anxiety issues and going to AA I think is too hard for me.

Sapling

Call your local AA helpline...Google it for your town. Talk to someone on the phone...See if someone can meet you for a meeting...Take a look at this site. You can just go and listen...That's what I did.

Your First AA Meeting<

JohnnyOneDay

WWG, There are different types of meetings... Speakers (S), Big Book (BB), twelve Step/twelve tradition (12/12), Discussion (D), Grapevine magazine (G), etc. All the meetings I have gone to last about 1 hour. For the meetings I've attended, sizes have ranged from 8-10 people to 80 people. Generally the meeting is opened with someone reading the 12 steps, the Anoymity statement, and announcements, then the "body" of the meeting, then close with the Lord's Prayer, but the format can vary.
During the "body" of the meeting, someone will read a few paragraphs of the reading (wherher it's from the Big Book, 12/12, Grapevine, etc.) , and pass to the next person. Before reading, the person generally will say "Hi, I'm John and I'm an alcoholic". Nobody says their last name. When the reading is done, people go around the room and comment on what the reading means to them. Sometimes there's a speaker, which can consume the entire meeting. During discussion, many people PASS and do not say anything. You can remain Anonymous, hence the name.

Give it a try. You have NOTHING to lose.

Johnny

walkingwithgod

I just hate talking in groups, and feel like everyone will be staring at me because I am a newbie.