Thought I had it whipped, I was wrong!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kingsport, TN
Posts: 30
Thought I had it whipped, I was wrong!
Went a full month with out drinking. The longest I had gone in 25 years. Thought to myself well Ill reward myself with a cold one. I am sure you have heard the story. Well a llittle kept getting bigger and bigger and now I am back to 12 to 18 beers every night.
I quit coming here and I think that was part of my failure.
Im 41 and my health is in the crapper. I dont sweat, I melt like frosty the snowman, and i am ashamed of what I have become.
My wife calls me a high functioning alcoholic. The hardest working person at work, successful, fun to be around, and very smart if I must say so myself.
Why do I do this to myself and family?
Unlike alot here, I dont have a catastrophy in my life I can blame for my onset of drinking sarting back to when I was 16. I am just weak when it comes to this, but so strong on all other fronts. I dont understand it.
Im back again if you all will have me. Im gonna try harder this time. Im so sick and tired of being sick and tire.
Thanks for listening to the rambling of a regular guy.
I quit coming here and I think that was part of my failure.
Im 41 and my health is in the crapper. I dont sweat, I melt like frosty the snowman, and i am ashamed of what I have become.
My wife calls me a high functioning alcoholic. The hardest working person at work, successful, fun to be around, and very smart if I must say so myself.
Why do I do this to myself and family?
Unlike alot here, I dont have a catastrophy in my life I can blame for my onset of drinking sarting back to when I was 16. I am just weak when it comes to this, but so strong on all other fronts. I dont understand it.
Im back again if you all will have me. Im gonna try harder this time. Im so sick and tired of being sick and tire.
Thanks for listening to the rambling of a regular guy.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome back, mechanicpsyco.
If you're strong in every other aspect of your life then you can be strong with this. You say you are weak, but you're not weak. Believing that you are weak really doesn't help, I don't think, in achieving lasting sobriety. You work hard and you're successful, so you must have drive and determination... don't let alcohol make you think otherwise. You CAN be sober.
How do you plan to stop yourself from 'rewarding' your sobriety with alcohol this time? Thinking about this now is probably a good idea. You're right that SR is a great place to be to remind ourselves that 'rewarding' ourselves with alcohol never ends up well, but I think it's also important to come to an agreement with yourself that that won't be an option, so that if those thoughts ever do arise, you're well prepared for them and know not to act upon them.
Wishing you all the best.
If you're strong in every other aspect of your life then you can be strong with this. You say you are weak, but you're not weak. Believing that you are weak really doesn't help, I don't think, in achieving lasting sobriety. You work hard and you're successful, so you must have drive and determination... don't let alcohol make you think otherwise. You CAN be sober.
How do you plan to stop yourself from 'rewarding' your sobriety with alcohol this time? Thinking about this now is probably a good idea. You're right that SR is a great place to be to remind ourselves that 'rewarding' ourselves with alcohol never ends up well, but I think it's also important to come to an agreement with yourself that that won't be an option, so that if those thoughts ever do arise, you're well prepared for them and know not to act upon them.
Wishing you all the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kingsport, TN
Posts: 30
you are all so supportive
As far as the rewards go, I will reward myself with less guilt and thniking more about me and my family. I miss "me", and I am sure the family does too.
Unemployment will probably go up slightly though, I am sure Anheiser-Busch will have to lay some off. LOL!!!!
Sorry, I joke when I am nervous. Gonna go shave now, hell I havent even done that in a week, I look like a 41 year old Santa Claus trainee.
Love and need the support. Keep it coming please.
I need a plan , but not really sure which direction to go, any ideas would be extremely helpful!
Unemployment will probably go up slightly though, I am sure Anheiser-Busch will have to lay some off. LOL!!!!
Sorry, I joke when I am nervous. Gonna go shave now, hell I havent even done that in a week, I look like a 41 year old Santa Claus trainee.
Love and need the support. Keep it coming please.
I need a plan , but not really sure which direction to go, any ideas would be extremely helpful!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Alcoholics Anonymous: Schedule of East Tennessee Meetings
Sunday Group 1:00pm ODM
St. Paul's Episcopal Church
161 E. Ravine St.
Kingsport, TN 376600
(Corner of Ravine and Watauga Streets)
Sunday Group 1:00pm ODM
St. Paul's Episcopal Church
161 E. Ravine St.
Kingsport, TN 376600
(Corner of Ravine and Watauga Streets)
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,068
Can totally identify with yourself here unfortunately Alcohol is cunning,baffling and powerful. I tried for many years to get the upper hand and went for very long periods without drinking but that one drink always ended the same way, more and more drinks.
Thankfully I have joined AA which in the past always shyed away from but this time I'm sober and happy. Before I was sober but totally miserable.
Wish you all the best, at least you reconise your problem which has to be commended.
Thankfully I have joined AA which in the past always shyed away from but this time I'm sober and happy. Before I was sober but totally miserable.
Wish you all the best, at least you reconise your problem which has to be commended.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Huntington Woods, Michigan
Posts: 465
I would always go back to taking the first drink after periods of sobriety. I came from a "normal" family and did not have much that I would "drink over.". I realized I was going to take that first drink no matter how I felt at the time and no matter how much I reminded myself of the consequences. I had no reason for drinking. I exhibited sound judgment in other areas of my life. I could not prevent the thought that made drinking seem acceptable from coming back to me, and I could not prevent myself from acting on that thought. In other words, I couldn't stop once I started and I couldn't stop myself from starting. Sometimes this was daily, sometimes not. It was unpredictable. I found a way to stop and stay stopped through.
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