firstlog

I really didn't want to get drunk tonight but here I am. How do I stop? Been gettinng pretty loaded for the last 8 years every friday and sometimes saturday. For the last three years ive been trying to quit and feeling guilty for a week but come every friday night I am back to wanting to drink. How do I break the cycle? I dont drink during the week but weekends are hard.

I tell myself Ill only have 3 drinks but I buy the 6pack (of strong beer) anyways and then drink it all. Seems like i cant even get a buzz without getting drunk.

Veggiejojo

Hi firstlog,

What have you tried? Few of us can do it on pure willpower alone? I'm trying AVRT and just coming onto SR really helps as well, others will tell you AA saved their lives. You don't have to go this alone.

I'm relatively new, but I'm sure you'll get some great posts here from people with a lot of wisdom to share,

x

Spinach

Make a decision then keep going back to it if you fail.
Like Robert the Bruce "if at first you don't succeed try try and try again"
So don't drink tonight get some soft drink of your choice and lots of it and stay in.
When and if your nerves are screaming congratulate yourself and try to remember ,so that later you can't try and rationalise moderation as you'll have to go through it again.
You can do it and be proud of being a non drinker , your life will be returned to your control.
Now is the time. Ditch the quilt .
Regards John.

blueshades

Evenings and weekends were the hardest for me in the very beginning. I found that logging into SR and getting more connected with healthy activities like working out and gardening helped. I had to give myself something else "to do" with that down time. It's only been a matter of weeks for me but I've already established that drinking is no longer the "default" activity that I will chose on a Friday. That choice gets easier as time goes on, too.

CarolD

Welcome...

This really can be your last drinking episode
Many of us are making sober lives useing a
variety of concepts ..programs and ideas.

Please keep posting and Yes you too can win..

ACT10Npack

How about dumping the beer out and go to bed.

newby1961

Sometimes it takes some of us a little longer to get this than others. No need to beat yourself up just keep on trying. The only thing I did right for a lot of years around AA was I kept coming back and eventually the consequences outweighed the party. It ceased being fun. You can do it you just have to believe you can.. I would say good luck but unfortunately sobriety takes a little more than luck it takes a willingness to live another way of life. You can do this my friend if I can trust me you most certainly can. Peace..

mecanix

Seems to me i'd always think , well just three small glasses of wine and end up drinking untill there was no more drink or i passed out . drinking when you don't want to is'nt a normal thing to do .
For starters i'd not buy the beer , tip everything down the sink with alcohol in it .

It only changed for me when i accepted i was an alcoholic , i accepted i was unable to control my drinking and most of my life, That i needed help and was willing to go to any lengths to get help to stop it .

Bestwishes, M

Huey

If you really want to break this behaviour you need some methodology. I'd suggest AVRT

firstlog

Well I went to a party tonight and drank enough to feel good and drunk. Its scary to not want to drink but find your self drinking ng anyways. Kind of like autopilot. Thanks for the advice everyone. I know that not drinking is very simple but it seems hard to do. I'm just not sure how to stop this whole process.

Dee74

Hi and welcome

I didn't want to get drunk either firstlog - but I kept doing it.

I think we need to do more than just want to not drink...if we want changes in our lives we need to make changes - real ones, y'know?

What you need to ask yourself is, what kind of changes are you prepared to make?

D

blueshades

This is going to read as judgmental but going to a party where drinking is going to take place doesn't sound like the choice of someone who wants to quit. If you really want to stop drinking you're going to have to make some changes. You'll need to live deliberately, which is the opposite of autopilot, isn't it?

MrsKing

Firstly, don't get caught in the cycle of feeling guilty for drinking, feeling like you're unable to be sober, and drinking because you don't know what else to do. Those sorts of feelings are unproductive. Believe that you can be sober and don't doubt yourself. I know that sounds unachievable sometimes, but it is SO important (or at least it was to me). Have you considered any programs or tools to help you? Many people here swear by AA. I use AVRT because it clicked for me.

I think you've learned now that going to bars or places that involve drinking is probably not a good idea for you. As has been previously mentioned - nothing will change if we don't change our mindset and our behaviour. Being sober isn't something that magically happens - we have to make a commitment to it and do whatever takes to not put that drink inside us.

You CAN be sober if that is what you want. Maybe it's time to take a look at what you're doing now and what you can add to that to help you next time you're in a situation where you find yourself thinking that alcohol is a good idea. Cravings and urges are not commands and do NOT have to be acted upon. You are the one in control of your actions... they are not.

Today is a new day and it can be a sober one

All the best.

Lionhearted1

Try going to the gym or a walk or even better an aa meeting actions breed change. Good luck

hypochondriac

I heard someone describe their alcoholism as trying to catch the buzz that they felt when they first got drunk, trying different combinations of drinks but always ending up drunk... I think that's a good point... really I only managed to live with just a 'buzz' the first handful of times I drank. From then on it just got worse and worse.

I also found that when I tried to quit my drinking got worse. Maybe fear of losing it made alcohol more precious somehow. I felt like I was drinking under duress for 3 years. Not a nice place to be. I found I had to truly let go of any hope of controlling my drinking or making excuses for it in order to let go. I think I was clinging onto some hope that I wouldn't have to give up. Hanging around here helped me get honest and AVRT helped with the doubts I was having.

Welcome to SR Firstlog x

firstlog

Well I thought I would update this just for fun, maybe it will help someone. Every year I get a birthday email from this website and it instills a momentary feeling of panic when I remember the problem I used to have.

So its been over 10 years and I have quit drinking. I basically did quit shortly after this post and in the last ten years have drank probably 4 or 5 times, never to an extreme like in the past. Nothing at all for the last several years and it feels great. It really did all come down to willpower and simply deciding to quit. At first I kept track of how many days, then months and then years I went without a drink and that helped. I didn't want to break my streak. Also, I'm very ambivalent about religion and it has waxed and waned in my life but at that time I did do some introspection and pleading to god. Maybe it helped.

Sadly, I have lost it a few times (although I can't remember why I did that now) but I think getting out of the weekly habit and going well over a year completely dry helped change my mentality. Honestly the last time I drank I didn't enjoy it at all. It just didn't feel good for whatever reason and I haven't had any desire since.

Looking back 10 years gives a lot of perspective and I am thankful that I stopped. Life is much better now. I shudder to think sometimes what might (probably) would have happened if I hadn't.

So thanks for the replies to any of you that are still around and I hope your lives are going well. This post absolutely did help me and was the beginning of the end I think.

Anna

Thanks for the great update. I'm glad you're doing well.

Dee74

thanks for the update and congratulations - hopefully completely dry will become your default state now

D

Farrier

Best wishes!

Takeaction

That is amazing to hear! Congratulations!!