SoberForMySon

Last night I took some really dumb risks, was a moron, and got sick all over myself. I feel like crap today. I have decided enough, really. That was a new all time low. Probably the kick in the butt I needed. I can't live like this anymore, it's not helping my anxiety in reality, and I am tired of feeling like crap, too. Normally right now I would have a beer in hand. Being sick makes it pretty easy to resist, but I feel determined. When I think back on my behavior, I know I don't want to be that person anymore. It'll be hard, and has been today, to face the anxiety sober. I have tried meds, and I need to try some more. Drinking makes me relax and do normal things. Been pacing the floors today, and feel to sick to really do anything. Finally decided to sit down and come on here.

soberjim

Hi..glad you posted.. Sounds like a very hard day for you...
Not worth it is it? Why not join the September group. Share your ideas and struggles with those of us going through a similar situation.

Jim

SoberForMySon

Thanks. I am really paranoid about stuff that logically will never happen, can't shut the brain off. No alcohol in the house, though. Dumped out the little I had left. Yay!

MrsKing

No, it won't help your anxiety at all. I used to think drinking was the cure for everything - stress, sadness, anxiety, over-excitement, grief... you name it. I thought that when I drank, I levelled myself out but in reality all it did was exacerbate everything. You may be able to mask your anxiety with alcohol but unless you deal with it, it will keep coming back. Medication that you take won't work properly whilst you're drinking, either. Nothing I took had any impact on my depression and anxiety until I stopped drinking. I always thought I had untreatable depression and I did, until I quit.

You CAN do this. The most important thing, I think, in getting sober is believing in yourself and wanting it more than wanting to drink. I was like you - I didn't want to be that person any more. I DESPISED that person, and I never wanted to be her ever again... I wanted to be the person that deep down, I knew I was. You can, too... and all that it takes is a commitment from you and an unwavering desire to stop drinking.

DeepBreath2012

VERY proud of you for dumping out the rest of the alcohol! I know that was crucial to me surviving these past three days. Come join us in class of September. We are all in the early days, stuggling along with you. We can all do this if we support one another. When you're feeling weak, jump on SR!

IndaMiricale

It can be better...

AA has saved this lost alcoholic for the bottom of society..

Maybe try walking thru the doors, it cant hurt there no alcohol and only people that have a desire to not drink today..

SoberForMySon

Thanks all. Still doing well. Still feel sick, and a little wound up, but not too horrible. No more than usual. I feel worn down, but that's probably from getting so sick.

tswhite

I'm so happy you are focused on what really matters and that's Today! Don't focus on the alcohol fueled mistakes of yesterday because u now have a brand new start.Congrats on getting rid of the alcohol!!

Dee74

welcome back

D

Hevyn

That never has to happen again, Sober. You can banish that poison from your life and begin to heal. No more misery or embarrassment. Proud of you for coming here to talk about it.

SoberForMySon

I did it. It's now day two! I no longer feel sick from my liquor binge the other night. Normally I just drink beer, so that was bad. My body feels great on day two. My mind is racing, and that's frustrating. I honestly don't know what I will do from here, but I certainly needed to get a grip and evaluate what I was doing to my body and the risks I was taking. There's no chance of my even getting to the store today so I know today's probably going to go well, plus it's half over already. Tomorrow they don't sell til noon, then I have work, so that should be okay, too. Monday's scary. Home alone, bored, and mind racing. I will be sure to sign on here that day when I get tempted.

Sapling

Just take care of not drinking today....Deal with tomorrow when it gets here. You're doing great!

sugarbear1

"Drinking makes me relax and do normal things. My mind is racing, and that's frustrating."

"Irritable, restless and discontent" was me without alcohol in me. I had no idea how to be without my alcohol. Alcohol was my solution to living in my own skin comfortably. When the alcohol wasn't there, I was a mess.

I suggest going to an AA meeting with an open mind, if you are serious about staying stopped. It will only get worse in every way (drinking or not drinking, without another solution to replace it).

I wish you well!

Love & hugs,