I'm SOOOOOO Tired of this

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09-07-2012, 05:29 PM

# 21 (permalink)

ivehadenoughnow

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Join Date: Sep 2012

Posts: 123

Quote:

Originally Posted by youbetcha

When I came into "recovery" and stopped drinking over 20 years ago now ( in my mid 20's) I was a walking contridiction too. I was a second degree blackbelt in a traditional Karate style, a natural. I worked out constantly, taught classes and was perceived by people who didn't know me very well as someone they wanted to be like. My body could still handle the all nighters, but I was in serious emotional pain and had no clue who I was. I really just wanted to be at peace w/myself but didn't know how. Consequenses caught up w/me and I eventually brought myself to "the rooms" along w/pressure and help from a few people, and after trying to stop on my own many times, the usual story. I had so much will power in so many areas of my life, that it was so hard to admit alcohol had me beat. When the alcohol was gone I had a lot of work to do. This is the journey, all the best to you!

Yep it is hard. I'm successful in business, a wonderful father and husband, and an endurance athlete. Alcohol has a spell on me though and it needs to go. As far as emotional pain goes, I think I do have my demons but I don't even know what they might be. It might be as simple as pushing all my problems deeper and deeper inside me rather than dealing with them. I don't like confrontation, in fact hate it. I've been sober on a few occasions and the one thing I know is I like me when I am. I'm more productive in all areas of my life. I have energy, I sleep better, etc. Rather than being a fake, I want to be that athlete both inside and out.

09-08-2012, 09:35 AM

# 22 (permalink)

ivehadenoughnow

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Join Date: Sep 2012

Posts: 123

Ok so today is my second day. I'm not worried about tonight because I have a plan you see! I'm going on a long trail ride about 5pm tonight which will last till 630-700pm or thereabouts. By the time I'll get home I'll eat cause I'll be starving, then I'll need a shower. Then I'll put the kids down and by that time I'll sit down with my wife. I'll take a big scoop of L-Glutamine which helps with the irritable feeling because it tricks my brain into thinking it is getting the same fuel that alcohol provides nightly. Then tea and probably popcorn to keep my hands and mouth busy.

Most importantly I want to feel great Sunday morning so it makes no sense whatsoever to chase some buzz and end up with a HO the next day. Plan is to hit the pool in the morning to do some swimming drills for an hour and then zero in on Sunday night.