| SoberIntrovert | 09-06-2012 08:48 PM |
Day 5 tommorrow
:thanks Never in my life did I think I would be going on day 5. I think I have been so lost since my breakup, I quit living life. We are both alcoholics(whether we agree on that or not). He thought facebook was a waste of time, my friends weren't really my friends. But in the last few days I realize I started to believe in his sick twisted ideas about life(he is a bit older than me). Today I got my hair and nails done....it's been forever. I got so many comments about how great I look. I actually looked really happy in the pics. I enjoy facebook again. I was so drunk I never actually shared anything on facebook. Friends are coming out of the woodwork, ones that didn't even know about my recovery. NEWSFLASH.....if you don't reach out, how will they know you need them? I have been praying to God to tell me why he took this man out of my life, and I see it now. To get me SOBER, to start LIVING again. I was so sad today thinking " I wonder if he will call tonight"? I just realized like 2 minutes ago....WHO CARES!! I'm happier than I have been in a long time. I was dreading coming home and not drinking again(I always drank at night). Once I got online and seen all the support and how happy I look, it's like people can see something different in me. I remember last week I was too drunk to even take one of my online tests for school. Tonight I aced that baby, and got the extra credit question. I actually care about doing well and seriously getting my nursing degree this time. OH.....IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to vent before bed. This is my new nightly ritual...homework, bible, SR. Life is good. 6 days ago I was drinking until I passed out 6 or 7 nights a week. Doing nothing but working, and days off were spent moping until 10pm, drink time. What!!! I got my hair and nails done, lol. On top of that I took my son shopping and to see his face light up about us doing something together broke my heart, and made me utterly speechless with happiness at the same time. After picking his stuff out, he says "Mom, you're the best! I'm so glad we got to hangout today" PRICELESS! Im kind of all over the place, but just wanted to thank everyone for the support. I know lots of people say it, but I just want to say it again. You've given me something that I can never repay any of you for. It's amazing when you just Let Go and Let God(or your HP). Going to church(SOBER, or without hangover) on Sunday for the first time in years. Goodnight all!! I DIDN'T DRINK TODAY!!!!! :thanks | 