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DAZED and COnfused

Old 09-06-2012, 03:54 PM
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Exclamation DAZED and COnfused

I have been married for 8 years, I have been sober of meth for 11 years after going to a christian rehab and then I started attending their church where I met my husband 2 years later.. WHat attracted me to him was that he was a christian and he was a good man. HE has always been good to me and when I got sick he was there and always been there for me. About 2 and a half years ago I started seeing alot of different in him and his behaviors, he would disappear and money started missing and I will tell him something is not right and he would tell me nothing is wrong you are imagining things and about the money he would say i didn't count right. THEN one night WHile i was in bed on my laptop i had my back to him i turned around and there it was a rolled up dollar bill with cocaine on some cd thing! I could not believe it and he lied about that saying i was imagining it and it wasn't true. WELL THAT's where I lost it. after i found out he had been doing it for a year and kept it well hidden. He was an usher at our church very respected even our pastor could not believe it. HE promised to do rehab and he did but after leaving he did it again one day after getting home. We no longer go to church because he doesn't want too. well a year later here we are again last week I caught him with a bag of cocaine and he has gotten really skinny. HE works everyday he gives me all the money pay stubs etc... he has no phone and he still manages to get it somehow. I am in therapy and going to the gym and trying to be healthy. We started smoking weed together a year ago and now i want to quit and he does not. I allowed the weed cuz i tought it would be better than cocaine but he is still using coke. I really don't know what to do but I really think I need to go on my own this is not a good situation but I can't help to hold on because of the good man he was and the good years we had together. I DOn't want to do drugs anymore not even weed.
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Old 09-06-2012, 04:29 PM
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I'm sorry for the situation you're in. I think you're making a good decision to stop using all drugs. Hopefully your husband will follow your example and make a choice to live a sober life. All you can do is take care of yourself.
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Old 09-06-2012, 05:08 PM
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thanks I am but is hard to focus when i am so worried about him
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