Defunk

I am dating a guy, who is an addict and codependent. He's been abusing pills for the past couple of months, so in my mind, it has gone further than a relapse, and back into using. Of course there is plenty of lying and hiding things from me, obviously.

But I told him we need a break, I feel like he needs to work on himself. He responded to that by telling me if I leave him now it will only get worse, i'm abandoning him in his time of need, asking him to work on codependency while trying to get sober is way too much of anyone to ask of someone.

Is that true? are these excuses, or am I really putting too much on him at the moment, because I really can't tell. I know they're excuses and he doesn't want to be alone, and he's terrified, but I'm not doing any favors by sticking around, right? Is giving a codependent addict space a good thing or a bad thing?

I guess i'm just looking for other peoples perspectives and opinions on the matter. Similar stories maybe.

Mark75

Active addict BS

clearhead44

Sounds like a bit of blackmail to me stick to your guns he may change and surprise everyone you never know but by doing that could make his world so different he has to change for the better :-)

silly

These are excuses. Addict lies. If you want out, get out. Don't forget about your needs. His needs are not above yours.

Defunk

Yeah, these are all great points, I guess I feel guilty for giving up, but If the thought is crossing my mind at all, its not a good sign. I feel like him worrying about me, and whether or not i'll stick around is not helping him work on his self, at all.

Like, it kept coming back to me. "I will work on myself, but i still need to know you'll be there in the end"

In which I would respond, don't worry about me, worry about you. YOU need to get okay, for yourself and only yourself.