Stopping constant thoughts
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Stopping constant thoughts
I now realize one of the reasons I drank was to stop the constant thoughts rushing through my head.I used to call it 'relaxing' but since getting sober and reading more,I see it is numbing thoughts, not relaxing.
The problem is some days the thoughts are crazy,you know the imagined conversations,what could have,should have,may be said etc etc.
I'm reading Tolle'The power of now' has anyone read it? Does it become easier to practice. I struggle with the incessant thoughts.
Does anyone know what I mean,maybe I just sound a little crazy.
Any advice would be great,thanks
The problem is some days the thoughts are crazy,you know the imagined conversations,what could have,should have,may be said etc etc.
I'm reading Tolle'The power of now' has anyone read it? Does it become easier to practice. I struggle with the incessant thoughts.
Does anyone know what I mean,maybe I just sound a little crazy.
Any advice would be great,thanks
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If that's crazy then I and many other people I know are crazy too. I am always playing out the previous day or the next day in my head. I think it is true that we must try to live in the present but I know it is hard. I wish you luck and if you have sucess please let me know. NOTE: It can not hurt to visit a professional just to make sure there is nothing else serious going on which might benefit from outside help
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JustHadEnough, I know exactly what you are saying. I can remember it being more than a constant chatter, at times it seemed like the roar of a jet engine. The self talk I was doing was killing me. It was depression and anxiety and fear and guilt and shame and anger and sadness. I am fortunate that most of it was caused by the alcohol I was drinking in an attempt to quiet the racket, so it became much more manageable when I stopped.
I was told about 'mindfulness' by my therapist, and was asked to read Jon Kabat-Zinn. As I learned more about it, I found Tolle, and read The Power of Now and The New Earth. Reading them was tough going for me, and I found I had to be mindful to read a book about mindfulness. Go figger.
It seems to me now that mindfulness practice gives me some space around my thoughts, some room to move around. It lets me become 'the watcher', lets me detach from the emotions by becoming a fly on the wall and observing the thoughts come and go. I have found that this goes along well with AVRT. I can detach from the addictive voice, or the self talk, observe it and my reaction to it, and then watch it go away. Since I know now that I don't have to act on these thoughts, the AV or the self talk, it doesn't make me upset anymore.
It's a very powerful tool to have, Justfor1, and I practice it by simply following my breath. It's always with me, and it always works.
I was told about 'mindfulness' by my therapist, and was asked to read Jon Kabat-Zinn. As I learned more about it, I found Tolle, and read The Power of Now and The New Earth. Reading them was tough going for me, and I found I had to be mindful to read a book about mindfulness. Go figger.
It seems to me now that mindfulness practice gives me some space around my thoughts, some room to move around. It lets me become 'the watcher', lets me detach from the emotions by becoming a fly on the wall and observing the thoughts come and go. I have found that this goes along well with AVRT. I can detach from the addictive voice, or the self talk, observe it and my reaction to it, and then watch it go away. Since I know now that I don't have to act on these thoughts, the AV or the self talk, it doesn't make me upset anymore.
It's a very powerful tool to have, Justfor1, and I practice it by simply following my breath. It's always with me, and it always works.
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Originally Posted by TTBABP 
If that's crazy then I and many other people I know are crazy too. I am always playing out the previous day or the next day in my head. I think it is true that we must try to live in the present but I know it is hard. I wish you luck and if you have sucess please let me know. NOTE: It can not hurt to visit a professional just to make sure there is nothing else serious going on which might benefit from outside help
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Originally Posted by DeepBreath2012
I, too, struggle with incessant, mind reeling. I have the book, but haven't read it yet. I wish I had answers for you but I just wanted to say you are certainly not alone!
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In addition to getting me sober, the 12 steps of AA have given,me peace of mind the majority of the time. There are certainly times when my thoughts are racing ,but I have effective ways of dealing with that now. It used to be Id wake up every night around midnight and the thoughts would start and Id be up the rest of the night. I haven't had that problem in years now. Truly a blessing.
Best wishes to you!
Best wishes to you!
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Originally Posted by freshstart57
JustHadEnough, I know exactly what you are saying. I can remember it being more than a constant chatter, at times it seemed like the roar of a jet engine. The self talk I was doing was killing me. It was depression and anxiety and fear and guilt and shame and anger and sadness. I am fortunate that most of it was caused by the alcohol I was drinking in an attempt to quiet the racket, so it became much more manageable when I stopped.
I was told about 'mindfulness' by my therapist, and was asked to read Jon Kabat-Zinn. As I learned more about it, I found Tolle, and read The Power of Now and The New Earth. Reading them was tough going for me, and I found I had to be mindful to read a book about mindfulness. Go figger.
It seems to me now that mindfulness practice gives me some space around my thoughts, some room to move around. It lets me become 'the watcher', lets me detach from the emotions by becoming a fly on the wall and observing the thoughts come and go. I have found that this goes along well with AVRT. I can detach from the addictive voice, or the self talk, observe it and my reaction to it, and then watch it go away. Since I know now that I don't have to act on these thoughts, the AV or the self talk, it doesn't make me upset anymore.
It's a very powerful tool to have, Justfor1, and I practice it by simply following my breath. It's always with me, and it always works.
I was told about 'mindfulness' by my therapist, and was asked to read Jon Kabat-Zinn. As I learned more about it, I found Tolle, and read The Power of Now and The New Earth. Reading them was tough going for me, and I found I had to be mindful to read a book about mindfulness. Go figger.
It seems to me now that mindfulness practice gives me some space around my thoughts, some room to move around. It lets me become 'the watcher', lets me detach from the emotions by becoming a fly on the wall and observing the thoughts come and go. I have found that this goes along well with AVRT. I can detach from the addictive voice, or the self talk, observe it and my reaction to it, and then watch it go away. Since I know now that I don't have to act on these thoughts, the AV or the self talk, it doesn't make me upset anymore.
It's a very powerful tool to have, Justfor1, and I practice it by simply following my breath. It's always with me, and it always works.
I know what you mean about Tolle-I can only read small parts at a time.Would you recommend I get A New Earth or something by Kabat-Zinn to start.
That's interesting,using the AV concept with these thoughts,thanks. If I can watch it and walk away it would be great.
I always value your advice Freshstart,thank you
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I can relate. Reminds me of an old T-shirt saying from the 80's. Something like "Sometime I sitz and thinks, but sometimes I just sitz". I think a lot of us would prefer to be able to "just sit". : )
Walking or jogging has really helped me personally with this. I actually sort of consider that my "thinking time". I allow the thoughts to come, consider discussions, make plans for the day, etc. Before I know it, I've worked out for 60 or 90 minutes and the time just flew by since I was thinking so much.
I then find that the rest of my day opens up to being more in the moment. Not so many thoughts, etc. Maybe because I already did enough of that during my workout.
Just my $0.02. It certainly helps me. Hope it may be of benefit to someone else.
P.S. Also lost 13 pounds in the last 7 weeks. Blood pressure is down. Just generally healthier due in part to these "thinking workouts".
Walking or jogging has really helped me personally with this. I actually sort of consider that my "thinking time". I allow the thoughts to come, consider discussions, make plans for the day, etc. Before I know it, I've worked out for 60 or 90 minutes and the time just flew by since I was thinking so much.
I then find that the rest of my day opens up to being more in the moment. Not so many thoughts, etc. Maybe because I already did enough of that during my workout.
Just my $0.02. It certainly helps me. Hope it may be of benefit to someone else.
P.S. Also lost 13 pounds in the last 7 weeks. Blood pressure is down. Just generally healthier due in part to these "thinking workouts".
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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My therapist explained the whole 'living in my head' thing to me when I thought I was going crazy. Apparently it's a defense mechanism you develop to get your emotional needs met. i.e. going over arguments etc. It's a way of coping with not getting my needs met in my 'real' life. She said it would subside the more I work on my sobriety and journey. Not sure if that's of any help to you but I found it comforting to know I wasn't actually insane.
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After I got started on mindfulness, I learned about better ways to get started on mindfulness. For example there are many sources of short mp3s that you can listen to, here are links to a couple of dozen. Look at the right hand column on the page under 'Mindfulness MP3s'. They make the practice more accessible, maybe because the information comes in smaller bites. If you start looking yourself, I bet that you can find better sources than this one. I am sure that youtube has thousands of clips about this too.
I just found Oprah.com has four or five video clips with Tolle that you might find interesting. There is also a companion book, sort of a guided tour which I recommend too, called 'Practicing the Power of Now'.
I just found Oprah.com has four or five video clips with Tolle that you might find interesting. There is also a companion book, sort of a guided tour which I recommend too, called 'Practicing the Power of Now'.
Last edited by Dee74; 09-06-2012 at 02:50 PM. Reason: copyright
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I have the same thing justhadenough... It was always one of my best excuses for drinking, shutting my incessant thoughts up. I have no advice really, I'm working on mindfulness too but it's a work in progress. The one thing I have noticed is that it has got much more manageable the further I get away from my last drink... Even without much effort I have a sense of calm I couldn't have imagined before. I wonder if the the physical effects of drinking have something to do with that too, because my racing thoughts were often accompanied by huge adrenaline rushes, but everything has evened out a lot now.
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Thoughs used to rush through my head, it can be like my brain is on fire . Sometimes with work this can be extreemly useful as i can read software programs and "see" it working .
With practaice my brain chatter can be nothing , no past, no future, just now , and it's not a disengagement more of an imersion, a tuning in, into the experience of now .
Bestwishes, M
With practaice my brain chatter can be nothing , no past, no future, just now , and it's not a disengagement more of an imersion, a tuning in, into the experience of now .
Bestwishes, M
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Hi, justhadenough ~ No you're not crazy, trust me. Like freshstart said above, the chatter in my head was typically alcohol induced so once I quit drinking, it MOSTLY went away. In the spirit of mindfulness, have you tried yoga, walking or running? I know when I do any of those things, especially running, it's easier for me to process thoughts because as my body moves so do the thoughts - in and out, in and out. When my body is in motion, my thoughts seem to be more fluid. I don't focus too much on one specific thought, but simply observe them as they come into my mind. Easy come, easy go. Hope this helps.
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Originally Posted by Happier
I can relate. Reminds me of an old T-shirt saying from the 80's. Something like "Sometime I sitz and thinks, but sometimes I just sitz". I think a lot of us would prefer to be able to "just sit". : )
Walking or jogging has really helped me personally with this. I actually sort of consider that my "thinking time". I allow the thoughts to come, consider discussions, make plans for the day, etc. Before I know it, I've worked out for 60 or 90 minutes and the time just flew by since I was thinking so much.
I then find that the rest of my day opens up to being more in the moment. Not so many thoughts, etc. Maybe because I already did enough of that during my workout.
Just my $0.02. It certainly helps me. Hope it may be of benefit to someone else.
P.S. Also lost 13 pounds in the last 7 weeks. Blood pressure is down. Just generally healthier due in part to these "thinking workouts".
Walking or jogging has really helped me personally with this. I actually sort of consider that my "thinking time". I allow the thoughts to come, consider discussions, make plans for the day, etc. Before I know it, I've worked out for 60 or 90 minutes and the time just flew by since I was thinking so much.
I then find that the rest of my day opens up to being more in the moment. Not so many thoughts, etc. Maybe because I already did enough of that during my workout.
Just my $0.02. It certainly helps me. Hope it may be of benefit to someone else.
P.S. Also lost 13 pounds in the last 7 weeks. Blood pressure is down. Just generally healthier due in part to these "thinking workouts".
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thank you all for your responses and suggestions.it helps to know I'm not alone. I really need to work on this-mindfulness sounds something that could work and be good help. I have started yoga and gym-it's just finding time/childcare.
i start a new job soon.hopefully the new focus will keep me busy and stop the incessant thoughts.
interesting point about not having my emotional needs met-possibly very true as I've lost touch with friends since finishing work.dh is supportive but i just feel silly and don't wanthim to think i'm mentally unstable. he is very relaxed and a 'now' person.maybe i could learn from him!
i start a new job soon.hopefully the new focus will keep me busy and stop the incessant thoughts.
interesting point about not having my emotional needs met-possibly very true as I've lost touch with friends since finishing work.dh is supportive but i just feel silly and don't wanthim to think i'm mentally unstable. he is very relaxed and a 'now' person.maybe i could learn from him!
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Originally Posted by justhadenough
the imagined conversations,what could have,should have,may be said etc etc.
I walked home to mull it over (I too think better when my feet are moving) and came to the following conclusion: the "imagined conversations" were my way of planning and practicing exactly what I would say to make him say what I needed him to say so I could say what I needed to say so he would understand and want to do what I wanted him to do.
I DID want to be in control!
Those were the "may be said" conversations, the future-focused conversations. But, there were also plenty of "could have, should have" conversations, the past-centric conversations. I wanted to control the past and the future when all I had was the present, and with the power of my imagination, no less! No wonder I was frustrated and miserable!
And, elihoping, thank you for adding an additional insight: I wanted him to understand and do what I wanted because....drum roll, please....I wasn't getting my emotional needs met.
Aha!
I think I have some Tolle at home....I'll be checking further into this!
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Originally Posted by bumble
A counsellor I spoke with said something about me needing to be in control; she even wrote the word "contol" on a pad of paper, circled it, and slammed the pen down with almost-smug authority. Internally, I vehemently disagreed - after all, I am passive. I don't tell people what to do. I don't even like to pick out a restaurant for fear my friends will not be happy with my choice. I want to please everyone. Control? Me?!
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Initially, I was horrified to think I was "manipulative," but I don't think it indicates we are bad people; it's all about intent. I honestly don't have evil intentions, and I doubt you do either. For me, it indicates something I'm not getting out of a relationship (ie, respect, support, etc) or sometimes a desire for closeness (ie, I genuinely want to be there for them by listening, and I feel I can't be the support they need if they won't tell me what is bothering them). All I want is to restore harmony and make everybody happy.
The problem is, often the person I was talking to wasn't too good at following the script I had devised...So I would re-work it and try again. And again. Only to get more upset and frustrated and....then I would drink to quiet the constant thoughts and anxiety. Honestly, the best thing to do, for me, is to just stop when I catch myself "scripting" and take a couple of deep breaths as I remind myself I'm not in control, that I can't be in control, and that that's ok. The Serenity Prayer would work to. Once I've relaxed a little, I can think more clearly about what I was trying to accomplish or what was bothering me, and then decide to either let it go or bring it up directly in a non-confrontational manner.
It's a slow process, but I'm getting there. I think.
p.s. I like your "everything is an attempt to be human" - I noticed it before, and have caught myself repeating it to myself, especially when I start to get upset with myself or others. Thank you.
The problem is, often the person I was talking to wasn't too good at following the script I had devised...So I would re-work it and try again. And again. Only to get more upset and frustrated and....then I would drink to quiet the constant thoughts and anxiety. Honestly, the best thing to do, for me, is to just stop when I catch myself "scripting" and take a couple of deep breaths as I remind myself I'm not in control, that I can't be in control, and that that's ok. The Serenity Prayer would work to. Once I've relaxed a little, I can think more clearly about what I was trying to accomplish or what was bothering me, and then decide to either let it go or bring it up directly in a non-confrontational manner.
It's a slow process, but I'm getting there. I think.
p.s. I like your "everything is an attempt to be human" - I noticed it before, and have caught myself repeating it to myself, especially when I start to get upset with myself or others. Thank you.
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