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Nothing is fun

Old 09-05-2012, 06:44 AM
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Nothing is fun

I saw there was a sticky note at the top of this thread for things to do when struggling/bored. For me, I play guitar, write music, make crafty things, watch movies, listen to music.... BUT I struggle with nothing is fun if I'm not buzzed while doing it. NOTHING. How do I find joy in these things that I love doing if I can't be buzzed while doing them?
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Old 09-05-2012, 06:49 AM
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Originally Posted by Klia View Post
I saw there was a sticky note at the top of this thread for things to do when struggling/bored. For me, I play guitar, write music, make crafty things, watch movies, listen to music.... BUT I struggle with nothing is fun if I'm not buzzed while doing it. NOTHING. How do I find joy in these things that I love doing if I can't be buzzed while doing them?
Hi Klia!

I feel exactly the same. I've been relapsing for a while now... Back on the wagon for a few days now. For me the boredom/lack of joy/lack of interest is at its worst during the first couple of days of sobriety.

Distract yourself I think is all you can do. Listen to music. Put some time into cooking a nice meal. Do a little yard work, even if it's only for 30 minutes.

I've accepted that some days in my life are not meant to be "anything special". One of the hardest parts about sobriety, for me, is that everything is so even and slow... Nothing dramatic. haha
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Old 09-05-2012, 06:52 AM
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We have to retrain ourselves, Klia. It's difficult at first because we are so used to living the crazy highs and unbearable lows of alcohol, and when we take that away everything seems quite 'flat', but trust me - when you've been sober a good while, you'll realise that sobriety is far more fulfilling and fun than being drunk.

Keep at it. You'll find that not only will you be much better at your current hobbies, but you'll find new ones that you'll enjoy and excel at, too.
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Old 09-05-2012, 06:53 AM
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Thanks for the reply, but it's almost like it's impossible for me. I can't listen to music or cook an awesome meal if I'm not drinking and I do like to do both of those things. If I can't drink, I'll just lay in bed and do nothing. Without the drink I have no motivation.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:29 AM
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It isn't impossible for you. It may feel like it is now, but over time you will find that those things are much more enjoyable sober. We also have to change the way we look at things. At first I felt as though life was not going to be as fun if I couldn't drink, and I had to totally change my mindset and realise that it was a DIFFERENT kind of fun, but it turned out to be a way better kind of fun. We just have to get used to our new sober lives.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Klia View Post
Thanks for the reply, but it's almost like it's impossible for me. I can't listen to music or cook an awesome meal if I'm not drinking and I do like to do both of those things. If I can't drink, I'll just lay in bed and do nothing. Without the drink I have no motivation.
Day one I usually feel like that too. Perhaps just accept that today is a dull day when nothing interesting is going to happen. That's not so bad, is it?

No news is good news, no?
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:41 AM
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I used to have that same problem. I am a musician myself. I would never play sober because it wasnt fun. After sobering up in AA and working the 12 steps, my music has been taken to whole new level. I have so much fun with it as well as tons of other stuff. Running, cooking, hanging with the wife and dogs, reading, movies, camping, hiking, meetings. Hell, even work is fun sometimes. Truth is none of those things ever changed. What changed was me and the way I view the world. Ive been given a "new pair of glasses" as a long time member of AA, Chuck Chamberlain used to say.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:42 AM
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Maybe you can do some volunteer work with children. Their joy and happiness at the smallest things could help retrain you to be able to have fun again. It feels good to help someone else, and it sounds like you need to get out of your house and do something active.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:50 AM
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Klia - I totally hear you. I'm almost a month sober, again, and I always feel the same way. I have been on/off the wagon for about 2 years now - after almost a decade of daily drinking. (I'm 30, female)

I don't know what it is, but the "drama" and the initial buzz that alcohol gives me made cooking more fun, hell, it even made going to the nail salon more fun. I would drink for a long drive home (I know, bad), before I went to the movies, before I went anywhere to make it "more fun." Eventually though, that buzz stopped being a buzz...and made me tired...so I would drink more in an effort to get that buzz back and then I'd get sloshed, not remember, not have any fun, and just want to die. This usually didn't happen all in one day/sitting, but over time, it did.

I'm really hoping and praying I've experimented with trying to drink enough that my insanity will go away and that I won't try it again because the end result is not even always the same anymore - it gets worse and worse the more I try to make drinking fun again.

I'm bored alot though, don't get me wrong. I am a natural drinker. I love it when it's fun. I miss it, but not as much anymore because I've tried and failed so many times to control it. I've found that reading helps me, alot. I've read books drunk alot in the past, and they were never good because I wouldn't remember what I read. Ha. But, I've read 3 books in the last 4 weeks, I've definitely been keeping up with my apartment alot more, cleaning/cooking/laundry, etc. I've been more productive at work too and my boyfriend and I are definitely not fighting about my drunk ass anymore.

So, as with anything, It's a give and take. Sure, you think back and remember how it was once fun and how maybe your afternoon could be better if you drank a little. But, then, I remember how the next day or teh next week felt and honestly, sitting with a good book is better than that outcome.

I think to my withdrawal days, when I couldn't hold an ice cube down, hands couldn't stop shaking, and you know what, that book is pretty damn good now.

Good luck. I know it's not easy. I'm still trying to live without the drama too. But I think I've made it past a bump that I haven't made it past before...
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Old 09-05-2012, 10:04 AM
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Keep trying new things and dont get discouraged...

Your doing great ..
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