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Slip up and having no will power

Old 09-05-2012, 04:17 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Hi cateyt

The problem with willpower for me was that a lot of my will still wanted to drink.

It wanted to go out with my mates, it wanted to have fun, it wanted to be happy with one or two drinks....it just didn't want all the negative consequences - and when you drink like you or I did - that's just not possible.

I believe I was just as much an alcoholic when I was binge drinking as I was later when I drank all day everyday....but if you don't want to accept the label of alcoholic that's your call.

I think what you do have to accept tho is that you cannot drink and have the life you want - and that you're going to have to make changes in your life, if you want to stay sober.

I know that can feel like a punch in the stomach - but you're not alone - there's a lot of support & ideas here

D
Thank you for your post. It is difficult to accept I wont be able to go clubbing with friends, drink when on holidays, birthdays and New Years. But you are right if I want the change I have to be willing to make the sacrifice.
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Old 09-05-2012, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by hypochondriac View Post
I hope this doesn't come across as harsh cateyt but what I hear in your post is a lot of excuses. I'm not being critical, I was exactly the same... but it is not your willpower which is at fault here but your thought patterns. There is actually a lot of help available in the UK... if you have a chat to your doctor or speak to someone at drinkline (0800 917 8282), they should be able to sort you out with a counsellor who can help you x
No it doesn't come across harsh, I can see that what I am writing may sound like excuses. But the fact that I have been out of work for seven months now and don't seem to be getting anyway is frustrating which I feel sometimes is an incentive to drink. But maybe I am just making excuses without realising.
Thank you for your post and the number I will call it at some point this week.
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Old 09-05-2012, 04:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Butterfly74 View Post
It will feel like several punches in the stomach like Dee said.
Worth it....punch back!

Keep getting the support!
Well as they say no pain no gain. But it will be worth it so I am going to try really hard to stay on track.
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Old 09-05-2012, 04:31 PM
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It is difficult to accept I wont be able to go clubbing with friends, drink when on holidays, birthdays and New Years
maybe, someday you will again Cateyt - if you want to, and you can accept & be happy being different in those situations.

I needed to divorce myself from that tho - my old life was geared around drinking...it wasn't a good life for someone trying to be sober to lead.

But the fact that I have been out of work for seven months now and don't seem to be getting anyway is frustrating which I feel sometimes is an incentive to drink.
what are you trying to solve by drinking tho?

and what does that frustration have with going out and drinking with your mates?

I'm not trying to beat you up - I think we all need to look critically at our own thought processes tho.

I'm largely housebound due to medical issues. I did my share of drinking over that too.

It solved nothing.

What did help was I'm exercising more these days and getting around more...those days when I am housebound now, I don't drink.

I changed my life.

I changed the way I looked at things - if you're bored, and feel down on yourself for being unemployed why not volunteer somewhere? it's a great way to get out of the house and get some self esteem back - and it looks good on a resume too.

It's got to be better than drinking

D
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Old 09-05-2012, 06:00 PM
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Weekend alcoholic is what some call that.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:17 PM
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It's not your friends or the fact that your umemployed. The mere fact that you "quit drinking" is a huge red flag that you have a drinking problem. Only time will tell though. I too blamed people, places, and things for my excess drinking. the good news is through the years it became more and more obvious that the person to blame was the guy looking back at me in the mirror.
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Old 09-05-2012, 07:24 PM
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There will always be an "incentive to drink". That's your addiction talking. Your addiction will come up with an infinite number of excuses and radical rationalizations for why it's ok for you to drink since there is a good reason to.

Don't give in.
Don't give up.
Stay strong.

You can.
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Old 09-06-2012, 03:10 PM
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Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I guess it is time to look into myself and start being honest with myself.
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Old 09-06-2012, 03:28 PM
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silkworth.net read Alcoholics Anonymous and see if it you relate to anything (don't try NOT to relate, read it with an open mind and honesty with self)

xa-speakers.org and take a listen

alcoholics obsess over whether to drink or not.....

binge drinking will be added to the DSM V next time it's out (I think next year) as part of the definition of alcoholism and to over-eating or food disorder, too

Be honest with yourself. Then find a program of recovery to work! Support and knowledge is essential to our recovery! (just in case you are an alcoholic, too)

I wish you a fabulous life!
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